Puck — January 15, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

_ PUCK. 3 North William Street, New York.’ CK > FOR SALE BY ALL NEWs DEALERS. Turus To Sus Susscripers. ~ SPE ‘CIAL NOT. TCES. ae the News Agency of Mews jeratdt Conrear Crows and in London, SATA oO EWS COMPANY, vt, Bou: Puc is HENR' st THE WILLMER & ROG verie Street, Fleet Street. Americons in Paris, reduced to ‘Punch.’ ."* will mow find their natural on Gile at t! ea aeies sapete etal raver fe cannot undertake to return rejectéd communications, and to th rule te cam take wo exception’ Remittances by Money Order, etc., are to be to Kerrier & SCHWARZMANN. cal ed 19 pay ale ‘with our stamp. tri Reprren & SCHWalzithi cae CONTENTS. Grant and'the Corkoatans, ‘The Pleasures of Popolarity— Awful Effect of a Brief Resi- dence in Brooklyn. Recent Improvements ia Science ithas PUCK'S QUESTIONS. The Theatres. Fucx’s Essexttat On. or Con- on oce’s Essential Oi of Albany. 5 FOR THE Anxious, Rbugeh of Dead Violets Pocx's Excnances. Tamaaey Blowout. Pere ts "s Rules for the Game of Frrznoopts mAwentcaLXXI1 Cobbler’s Billet. eee jarrit jews-hi Fete brine a poem, GRANT AND THE CORKONIANS. 'HE greater portion of the thinking people of these United States look upon Mr. Grant's tour around Europe as they would look upon the bended-kneed hero of the circus as he ambles around the arena on his stenciled steed—it is the ‘greatest show on earth,” as the veteran showman puts it; but it is not from such a show that Presidents should be sought. The pretty tricks of the Babcocks, the harle- quinades about the Treasury of the Belknaps and Robesons, afford but sad reminiscences to the people who are tired of making the govern- ment a farce. When Grant takes wine with Disraeli and hob-nobs with Bismarck, the people read, and say ‘Why not?” Certain charitable minds ask why D. and B. didn’t offer the General some good old Blue Grass Bourbon. And that is about all the country cares about Grant's rogress abroad. For be it understood: “Columbia pouvait se consoler du départ d'Ulysse.” But’ when our mai Grant; for whom we shelved Horatio Seymour, and sent the death- warrant to the great and good Greeley—when Grant goes to Paddy’s land—taking it in, on his tour, very much as a stranger in New York might roam from Wallack’s to the Grand Duke's Theatre—the American stomach rises at the idea of his being insulted by Cork. Cork! Cork refused to receive him, All the bile and all the brogue of Cork rose up at him. To be sure, he had previously stated that his time would not allow him to visit Cork; but with that felicitous capacity for.bulls for ‘which the Corkonian heart is noted, the city council said “(As you're not coming, bigobbs, ‘we won't lave yez come!” So Cork comes to the fore. Nobody, except " school-teachers and Corkonians, ever knew, par- ticularly, where Cork was before. Many intel- ligent people supposed it was in Africa where the cork-trees grow; it was also supposed to be PUCK. in that Darwinish portion of Oireland where, when the natives sit down, their protruding backbones maké a”hole in the ‘ground, But now we all know where Cork is. Cork has gained its notoriety, by refusing to receive an American who hadn't the slightest. notion in the world of going there. The pitiable part of the matter is that the Irish-American back is up, and meetings are being organized and speeches prepared in which Galway and Donegal and Sligo and Kil- lemansmotherum will howl anathemas at Cork. And worst of all, you will find all of this bosh duly dished up to you at breakfast in your morning papers. Meanwhile the hero of Appomattox handles his handy corkscrew; and as he quaffs the flavor of the potent “Bourbon,” remembers that in a long career one cork has ever been open for him. THE NEW INFERNO. Tuat nice little lamp of Liberté, the arm of which has been stuck up among the cab-men of Madison Square, for many months, and whose body is generally supposed to be in an incompleted state somewhere in France, has not as yet shed its light upon the harbor of New York. But a greater ligbt than this is illuminating the world. Gas is a fraud compared with it; and Edison's electric light burns dimly beside it. For it is the Light of Liberty, which Amer- ica has taken, hand-in-hand with France, and together they are lightening up the dark places of the earth, England, weighed down with debt; with a “striking” and dissatisfied people, and the weight of an expensive war hanging around its neck; Germany, with the shot of the assassin at its heart, and the load of its own poverty and distress weighing it down; Austria hiding from the misery of its own grandeur; Spain rushing away from itself; the Pope subsiding into a deeper and a deeper darkness under the advancing light of civilization—only young Italy catching a ray of the coming dawn—such is the European situation. With Russia having behind her a ?, And so the two great nations of the earth go in for freedom and for popular sovereignty: the government that is of the people, for the people. These nations have gone, recently, through great wars; the one inscribes Solvency on its banners; the other places the bar-dexter of Resumption on its escutchcon. So there is something in a republican form of government and the vox populi after all. If Grant did surround himself with thieving po- liticians; and if Hayes did steal himself into a fraudulent Presidency as is asserted, the coun- try is safe and solvent. A few years ago a dollar in gold was worth $2.80 in paper. To-day, you can get a gold dollar anywhere for a paper one. How’s that for a republican form of government? It is popularly supposed that the light of the world travels from the East to the West. It is Puck's mission to show the world that the light of freedom and liberty, which is to brighten the homes of the oppressed and lowly, is fast traveling from the West to the East. Watch for it, hereditary leeches on the labor of the poor, for its rays will scorch you! Tue pages of the Burlington Hawkeye are so thoroughly peppered with ‘‘reading notices” of prescriptions for piles and cures for corns, that self-preservation forces us to appoint our- selves a committee of investigation every time, and lose the enjoyment of many of the best things by reading them backwards, Puckerings, A par'’METER—The Moffatt bell-punch. Snut up or shoot up, Bogardus! Same to you, Carver! Or course the skeleton in the closet is a skeleton in armoire. Ow the skating pond nowit is quite #ie thing to be ‘“‘club”-footed. So tHey levy on Levy’s sweet toot again! Poor, persecuted blower! Tue devotees of the ballet assert that ‘‘ beauty unadorned is adored the most.” Tue Comstock Lode is one of the burdens we would all be delighted to bear. An “ex,” cited has reason to be excited, if quoted incorrectly or misconstrued. “ Tuat's the kind of a feller I am,” he said, and he knocked the other man down, For true pie-eaty, we refer you to the re- freshment stand in the structure by the frozen e. Ow the East-side Elevated Road, by far the most rapid transit is down the slippery, unpro- tected stairs, “Triprinc the light fantastic toe”—Trying to dance on a rough floor with shoes worn out on the sole, « ‘Tue only time a printer is ever known to “ cut a dash” is when he pares one down to make a hyphen. Ir it be true that no news is good news, some of the Philadelphia dailies are Smpbatically good newspapers. AccorpiNG to the World, Victoria’s second son resembles the hero of Bayard Taylor’s poem—he is a princely Duke-a-lyin’, Ou! that incomprehensible small-boy! He'll turn from five acres of clear smooth ice to work his way through the half foot of slush where the danger sign is. ‘Tue tradesman at the corner acknowledges that to give only 140 eggs in a box marked “12 doz.” is a gross mistake, but holds that to have put in 145 would have been a grocer one. Ir we are to believe our story-books, shi “ crossing the line” are yielded up to the wild pranks of the sailors; despite which, any geo- grapher will tell you that it is ridiculous to speak of any latitude on the equator. A CoLtece student tried to get a situation on an eastern paper and exhibited as a proof of literary ability a head full of dandruff.—Z. O. Picayune, If the ‘n” in this last word were an ‘m”, it would fitly express the quality of this joke, NOTICE. No. 9 (issue of May 7th, 1877), No. 14 (issue of June th, 1877), & No. 26 (istue of September sth, 1877), No. 56 (issue of April 3rd 1878) of ** Puck” will be bought at this office, No. 13 North William Street, at full price, comicbooks.com