Puck — January 15, 1879 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘THE OLD MAID OF ATHENS. Rome where you will and man is false; His Spain may be most dire— When once he has a Belfast, he Will shortly of her Tyre. Pekin in this Brest and you will see That Isle of Man most dearly, ‘And yet Isay this Dublin plan Will Rouen us quite clearly. Heed not, O maid, the.sighs and Wales Of man, or else forlorn you Will rue the time when, feet erect, He'll pull his Sweden scorn you. Though you be Hungary for love, There’s Norway that you can Havana thing that's safe to do With such a brute as man, Eugene Field in St. Louis Times-Journal. Ir any Chic 0 speculator wants-to get up ‘a corner” in loafers, his attention is respect- fully directed to the corner of 12th and Market streets.— Wheeling Leader. A troupe of blondes who were censured at Montreal for lack of wardrobe, proved that they had on more than was required at a court reception. —Detroit.Free Press. Apotruus thinks he has just as good a right to stop on the doorstep of the church Sunday evenings to light his cigar, as Matilda Jane has to stop and pick up three or four yards of dry- goods that she calls her trail.— Yonkers Gazelle. Coronet Nicuotas Sairi is lecturing on “A Plea for Tramps.” No apology is necessary, Colonel. Any young man has a right to go East and marry Horace Greeley’s daughter, if he gets a chance.—W. O. Picayune. Iran Arctic expedition were to start in search of the North Pole at this writing, they wouldn't have far to go. It is our firm belief that the North Pole is coming in search of us, and is only about a quarter of a mile away.—Jorris- town Herald. “An, there are only a very few more of us great poets left!” sighed the Sweet Singer of Michigan, as she read the announcement of the death of Bayard ‘Taylor. And then she resumed her poem on the ‘Sad Death of Johnny Bop kins by Falling off a Shed.”— Norristown Wil- liams, Puck, the brightest and the only successful American humorous paper, is the only paper in New York, with the exception of the Hold Gazelle, that echoes public opinion respecting Mr. Hilton. Every hotel man should read Puck. Scissors and paste in the editorial office of the Gazelle would be of little service were it not to clip the bright sayings of our independent and spicy contemporary.— Zhe Hotel Gazette, “Gatu,” who scoffs at paragraphic wits and calls them“ low-salaried punsters,”” apparently forgets who owned the amateur journal that printed his incipient effusions twenty-two years ago. It is hardiy necessary to note that the paper referred to died from the infliction of precocious talent, which had been going beg- ging in Philadelphia, from one Towns’end to other. Next!—Zrrate Enrique, Georce (reading): “Prince Bismarck op- the use of lager beer.” Materfamilias: “There, George, I told you | Jimo culchored German likes it.” George (continuing): “He says it makes people at once inert and insolent--” Materfamilias: “‘ Exactly what I say.” George (concluding): ‘‘ And that good corn brandy is infinitely preferable.” Unholy glee of George and sudden cessation of maternal comments. — Boston Journal of Commerce, PUCK. (A LONG WAY) AFTER REALF. Back of the thoughts which one thinks is the wearisome feel sling of thinking, Back of the draughts which one drinks is the headache that comes after drinking. —Baltimore Every Saturday. Miracutous feats in dentistry are frequently performed, sometimes a subject is chloroformed, and when’ he recovers to consciousness his shirt-studs are gone and the double cluster firmly fixed in his jaw still remains, But the most marvellous dental achievement has just transpired with a Brooklyn dentist wherein a lady has not spoken for six months, Through a mistake he got hold of her breath and pulled her voice out—Claude De, Haven in Court- Journal, A Sr. Louis lady has sued a reporter for breach of promise, putting her damages at $15,000. For the sake of the reputation of the proiesios it is hoped the reporter will put his and into his pocket and pay the lady the amount claimed, and thus keep the affair out of the Courts. This has been the plan we have invariably adopted in the few affairs of the kind in which we have found ourselves involved. It is a little inconvenient at the time, bat it saves trouble in the end.—S. F, Newsletter, “S'port"’ is the usual short way for writing “ Shreveport."— Detroit Free Press... And “S'cat,” by analogy, is denomitive for “shoot the cat.”"—Puck. And ‘d-’p'up” stands for the man who runs away and “don’t pay up.”— Whitehall Times. Beware of Counterfeits and Imitations! BOKER’S BITTERS, The best Stomach Bitters known, containing most valu- able medicinal properties in all cases of Bowel complaints; a sure specific against Dy rer and Ague, &¢. A fine cordial in itself, if taken also most excelient for mixing with other cordials, wines, &c. Comparatively the cheapest Bitters in existenc L. FUNKE, Jr., cle Agest, P. 0. Bex 1029, 78 John St, N.Y. NO LADY'S BOUDOIR IS COMPLETE without POND'S EXTRACT. Its various toilet uses are becom- rng as well known as its curative qualities for Inflammations and Hemorthages. Ladies preferring delicately perfumed toilet ar- ticles should parchase our Toilet Cream, Price $1.00, Dentrifice, Price 5» cents, Lip Salve, Price a5 cents, Toilet, 3 cakes per box, so cents, all of which contain a large percentage of PURE Poad’s Extract and are the most perfect preparations manufactured by Poxn's Exrnact Co., 98 Maiden Lane. Sold everywhere. BOZODONT. To preserve the teeth and keep them pure and white, to prevent their decay, there is no preparation in the market equal to SOZODONT To preserve the gums in a natar- ally hard and healthy condition, there is p0 superior to SOZO- DONT. To purify and sweeten the Breath there is uo rival to SOZODONT. For a perfect mouth there is no recipe like the use of SOZODONT. Consequently it is no wonder that the populanty of SOZOVONT as a dentrifice has no bounds. All Drogyists keep it A CARD. Dy O Dock Savings Institution, 841 & 343 BOWERY. ‘The Trustees of this Institution have declared a dividend for the six months ending Dec, 31, 1878, at the rate of s per cent. per annum oa all sums of $2,000 and under, and on the excess of $2,000 at the rate of ¢ per cent. per annum, payableoa and after the THIRD MONDAY IN JANUARY, 1879. DEPOSITS made ON or BEFORE JAN. soth will Se entitled to INTEREST from JAN. 1. ANDREW MILLS, President, WILLIAM V. WEBSTER, Secretary. GERMAN LIEDERKRANZ. 26th ANNUAL MASQUERADE BALL, ACADEMY OF MUSIC, Thursday, February 13th, 1879. Tickets at $:0—admitting one gentleman and one lady, under the customary conditions. ARION SOCIETY. GRAND MASQUERADE BALL AT CILMORE’S CARDEN, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 2lst, 1879. Gentleman and one Lady. PHOTOGRAPHER, 347 Enst Lith Street, Between 1st & and Aves., New York.—Closed on Saturdays unly. SP Lfieay OLD ESTABLISHED AND WELL-KNOWN DENTAL ROOMS, No. 6 E. 14th Street, near th Ave. Whole and Partial Sets Beautifl Mineral Contiovous Gum Teeth, $2.50, $5.00, $10.00, upwards, Decayed Teeth filled ina superior manner without pais 3 a8 fo preserve then for fe with pate Geld, genuine Platina, Amalgam, Bone, &e., $1.00 upwards. eth cleaned n'a harmless manner 30 as to give them the white- ness ofvory Sioa, “Teeth extracted without pain, Everything warranted as represented, and the best, materials used in every ease. PARTICULAR ATTENTION PAID TO CHILDAEN'S Taurn. Open Evenings and Sundays. DENTAL OFFICE OF Philippine Dieffenbach - Truchsess, 162 West 23rd St, bet. 6th & 7th Aves., N. Y. Late 389 Canat Sreuxt. PALL H HAVANA TOBACCO} THE BEST ALL TOBACCO CIGARETTE.” Sold by all Dealers and Manulactured by B. POLAK. N. Y. Patents, Trade Marks are promptly secured by the Patent Office of PAUL GOEPEL, Stants-Zettung Building, ‘fryon Row, Now York. ADVICE AND PAMPHLETS FREE. Special terms for FOREIGN PATENTS if taken with U.S Patents. t=¥” Having succeeded in securing a quantity of copies of “Puck” containing “Talmage Cartoons’’, we hereby notify our Readers that they can obtain the following Issues at our Office: No. 82, October 2. “ 84, “ 16, “ 85, 23, “87, November 7. comicbooks.com