Puck — December 11, 1878 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. Tue Boston Transcript informs us that Miss Frances E. Willard has returned to Chicago, and will devote herself to temperance this win- ter. We are glad to hear this, for while we have never seen Miss Willard intoxicated, it certainly is a ruefal spectacle to see a handsome young woman in this condition. It occurs to us, how- ever, that she might have found a better place than Chicago in which to turn over the new leaf.—Dernich, Perer A, Ticue, of Memphis, died of yellow- fever, and so did the doctor, clergyman and undertaker who attended to him and officiated at his funeral; so an insurance company which required their certificate has refused to pay over the sum for which his life was insured. The day is not far distant when an insurance com- pany will not issue a policy unless it contains a clause invalidating the instrament upon the death of its holder— only operative so long as the man is healthy enough to pay money into the hands of the company. This would be a trifle one-sided, we know, but the insured man’s family would know what to expect after his death.— Norristown Herald, Jupce Hitton—Dear Sir: Yours at hand. We think something like the following will do: “Whereas, the grave of the late Mr, A. T. Stewart having been broken into and the re- mains feloniously abstracted therefrom, a reward of $75,000 will be paid for evidence that will lead to the recovery of the body and the con- viction of the thieves. Large invoices of goods received daily. In our silk and glove depart- ment we offer some rate bargains. All goods marked down until after the holidays. Country produce taken in exchange for goods."—Oi/ City Derrick, Peorte who ride on the Woodward Avenue route have often néticed that when a certain tall, solemn-looking' man, aged about 50, boards a full car, he always holds a whispered conver- sation with some man who at once gives him a seat and retires to the platform, The tall man never has to stand and hang to the strap sim- ply because he undersands human nature. Glancing around the car he selects his victim, bends down and confidentially whispers: “Make no move to attract attention, and listen carefully to what I say. You have an ink-stain on your nose, and your necktie is un- fastened. Step out on the platform a moment and brush up.” The victim steps out there every time, and after he has wiped away at his nose and pulled away at his tie he looks into the car to see the tall man enjoying the vacated seat with the greatest comfort. Life is full of base decep- tions, and yet innocent people are powerless to meet them.—Detrott Free Press. ‘Tue sheriff of Chester county visited the “Upland murderer” in the Eastern Peniten- tiary a few days ago, and found him whittling a fiddle out of a piece of pine board. The sheriff was so much pleased with the prisoner's ingenuity, that when he returned home he pur- chased a new violin and forwarded it to the convicted murderer. Now, the sheriff meant well enough, but after mature reflection he must see that his act was one of mistaken gen- erosity. ‘There may be persons in the Eastern Penitentiary who are not murderers, and who do not deserve such an awful punishment. The “Upland” chap is locked up in his cell, and when he begins to saw on his fiddle—perhaps attempt to play “Grandfather's Clock ”—all the inmates of the prison must suffer, without being able to throw bricks, or clubs, or even to shoot the cause of their woe. It’s mighty rough on ’em, But perhaps it will teach them to keep out of prison next time.—Jorristown Herald, ‘BRETHREN, before we sing the next verse of ‘John Brown's body lies all mouldy in the grave,’ let us take a look into the grave and see that it is there.” In these days of Ohio medi- cal colleges a cemetery isn’t no safer than a savings bank, and it may be that political glee clubs, who have been singing the song quoted above have been chanting a rhythmic lie for the past fifteen years.— Hawkeye. _ TauMace, speaking of the terror'a policeman inspires in the breast of a villain, says it is “because he is a representative of the law and the law is supported by God.” We hope that the reverend gentleman was particular about the punctuation of the sentence. There is Profanity in it, if not handled carefully.— New Haven Register. Puck, the brightest, most artistic and fun- niest illustrated paper published in the world, is getting quite a host of readers in Wheeling. Its cartoons on prominent men and events are immense in conception, and drawn in the hap- piest manner by the famous Keppler. Get a copy for ten cents and have ten dollars’ worth of amusement out of it— Wheeling Leader. Tue Court. This morning H. R. H. the Princess Louise, accompanied by Lady Sophia MacNamara, fed the St. Bernard puppy “ Ber- tha,” and afterwards granted an audience to a Montreal modiste.. His Excellency walked out, accompanied by his pipe and his piper. He wrote a poem .during the forenoon on “ Beautiful Snow.” A reception was held with- out gloves in the evening.— WV. Y. Com. Ado. Tue unpleasantest part of the break in stocks to our mind is, that the man who confi- dently informed us last week that he could clean up with a hundred thousand dollars, came into the office this morning to borrow four bits for his breakfast. It is aggravating, when you have just made up your mind to bor- row a hundred or two from a lucky speculator, to find out that he has only got it in 4’s mind, in his alleged brain, his supposititious cere- brum, his apology for occipital medulla.—San Fran. News-Letler, . POND'S EXTRACT.—The Great Family Medicine of the Age differs from all advertised preparations, in the fact that it is a standard medicine of recognized merit, and has for many years been treated of in medical writings. It has been the chief reliance of thousands of families for all the minor ailments, accidents or casualties that have occurred among them. As an ALLEVIATOR of Par and a promoter of permanent cure ithas no equal. Ask your druggist about it. Sc BALL HAVAN TOBACCO] THE BEST ALL TOBACCO CIGARETTE. Sold by all Dealers and Manufactured by B. POLLAK.N. Y. NOTICE. No. 9 (issue of May 7th, 1877), No. 14 (issue of Fune gth, 1877), & No. 26 (issue of September sth, 1877) of Puck” will be bought at this office, No. 13 North William Street, at full price. ———— ts Having succeeded in securing a quantity of copies of “Puck”? containing “Talmage Cartoons”, we hereby notify our Readers that they can obtain the following Issues at our Office: No. 82, October 2. “ 84, “ 16, “ 85, “« 23, “© 87, November 7. RUGS AND SARPETS JUST RECEIVED, 5 CASES at PRICES less than ever be- fore offered. VIZ.: PERSIAN, CASHMERE, MYLASSA, KHURDESTAN, TEHERAN, LAODICEA, MOORISH, YHORDES, KOULA, TURKISH, Sec., dz. rnold, Constable & CO., BROADWAY, Corner 19th ST. feos) st Dr. SWEENY’s DENTAL ROOMS, No. 6 B. 14th Street, near Sth Ave. Beautiful Mineral Gum Sets, best Quality, greatest Durability and Elegance for $2.50—$.00 and $12.00, Pure Gold filling from $2.50. Other filling $1.00 feeth extracted with pure fresh Gas—free, The above prices are for strictly Fist Class Work, and yoo will do well to try us before going elsewhere —Open Evenings and Sundays, DENTAL OFFICE Philippine Dieffenbach - Truchsess, 162 West 23rd St, bet. 6th & 7th Aves., N.Y. Lara 389 Canan Sramer, comicbooks.com