Puck — December 4, 1878 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE INTERRUPTED MEETING; on, THE BOYS’ REVENGE. OME femates, whose names I won't mention, Decided to hold a convention; So they issued their call, ‘And hired a hall, That they might fulfill their intention, ‘Some boys, by the old Nick elected, ‘Whose breeding was sadly neglected, Pledged themselves, in a ‘‘cup,” To wind the thing up, . In a manner that was not expected. Heart to heart, hand in hand, side by side, Down to Washington Market they hied, Where the stands and the vats Are infested with rats, ‘And twelve dozen vermin they “ buyed.” Then each with a bag with a rat in, And each with a bag with a cat in, Went into the hall, And emptied them all "Neath the chairs that the good women sat in. Then up from that hall went a roar; Each old gal leaped up from the floor— ‘Such bursted elastics, And lightning gymnastics, Had never been witnessed before. In shrieks, and a greased locomotion, And a noise like a terrified ocean, The “ Female Convention ” Adjourned, I would mention, ‘Without an amendment or motion. The President's chair had a hood in, Likewise a blonde wig she “looked good” in; But these things were all ‘That she left in the hall, Save a fine handsome le—limb that was wood-en. Karu Kase, SOME SOCIAL FIENDS. x. Tue INTERVIEWING Fiend. Ir may be noticed by the observant reader of this journal that the usual pictorial illustration of the Social Fiend does not appear at the head of this column, ‘This is from no neglect or fault of the artist. It is merely from the utter im- possibility of even a Doré or a Keppler to con- vey to the public any idea of. the vast amount of cheek which the average interviewer carries around with him. The intellectual department of the Daily Bosh generally recruits its corps of interviewers from that nation which comes from its bogs to gobble up the offices of great muni- cipalities like that of New York. These inter- viewers are called (by the intellectual depart- ment of the d. b.) “Ambassadors;” and if you have any little domestic difficulty in your family | they ring your door-bell at night and ask if your wife has really gone the wicked way; for a per- sonal description of her; and all the particulars of the flagrant deliction—to be served up, the next morning, inthe Bosh, with many head- lines, in a variety of types. If you kick him out of door (as you should, but as you generally don’t) he merely rubs his intellectual depart- ment, scratches the liveliest part of his head, and goes elsewhere in search of pabulum for his paper. ‘The Interviewing Fiend is never so success- fal as when he gets hold of the remote family of some ‘boy with a white eye.” These honest folks reside in their quiet neighborhood, hap- first-rate picture of you!” in itself too—.” “Then, by simply turning a handle or two, I screw you at once intoa most natural and picturesque pose— quite an art, Put a little more con- tentment into the features, please.” “You will notice,” says the Photographic Artist, “the immense variety of the poses in my photographs. Quite an art in itself to pose the subjects! “What? you? easily in a chair, so?” posterous! Oh, dear, you'll excuse my laughing at the notion!” “QUITE AN ART IN ITSELF!” I shall be able to make a “You see, I place you first in my patent posing machine—that machine's quite an art ‘Don’t think the machine quite suits “Not a natural pose?’ ‘Would rather sit Oh, my dear sir, most pre- Wouldn't do at all, No art in it, —Fun, of life to the happiness of a peaceful death. What have they of responsibility, because some wild gth cousin of a remote uncle has brought into the world a human devil who goes about seeking whom he may stab to death? But the Interviewing Fiend knocks at the door and commences: “T believe you are a cousin of Hesse Jum- meroy ?”” The answer comes without thought; and afterwards, such is the overwhelming power of cheek, that you give yourself away, tell all the circumstances of your connection with the young assassin; and the next morning your neighbors read the dished-up story at breakfast —and thenceforth avoid you. The Interviewing Fiend is never seen at better advantage when some great person comes to the Shores of Freedom—doesn’t the capital look nice ?—from the effete dynasties of europe —lower case e. Then he is metaphorically, personally and very emphatically kicked. But it is funnier to read his account of the kicking. pily wending their way through the vicissitudes It is pleasant to see him kicked. It is somewhat in this wise: “The Marquis, extending his hand, grasped mine warmly, saying he had not felt a real welcome to these shores until he met an Ambassador of the Sosh. He asked if I would like to see the Princess, who was then doing up her back-hair before a pearl-lined, face-ct- nugque reversible London Mirror. The Princess blushed as she saw the look of honest, manly admiration—” Do you remember the nigger “Act” once so popular in the travelling shows, when the comic cuss comes out and howls: “Hark, I hear an Angel sing;”—and the other comic cuss beats him under the coat-tails with a huge stuffed club? But comic’cuss.1 continues to howl notwith- standing the indings of comic cuss 2 with the stuffed club; for he also is stuffed under the coat-tails, as well as the club; and blows hurt him not. So with the Interviewing Fiend. He pads his vulnerable part before he sallies forth on his errand of impudence, for he knows he will be kicked, as he ought to be. L. i comicbooks.com