Puck — November 20, 1878 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“PUCK”, Ko. 13 North William Street, New York. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terms To Suescripers. One Ce ror $2 numbers. epy. x months, oF 36 ou SPECIAL NOTICES. Puck will hereafter be on Sale in London, at the News Agency of Messrs, HENRY F. GILLIG & CO), 449) Strand, Charing Cross. Americans in Paris, hitherto Yeduced to’ ““Punch.” “Judy.” will pow find théir natural paper on file at the “Herald” Office, 49 Avenve de Opéra. We cannot undertake to return rgected communications, and to this rule we can make no exception. g@y Remittances by Money Order, etc., are to be addressed to Kerp.er & SCHWARZMANN. A@ Our advertising friends are only required to pay bills presented on the billheads of Puck, with our stamp mmrRssep thereon. KEPPLER & SCHWARZMANN. CONTENTS. ‘The President and His Soom Soctat Frexps, VII. — Puck Hand in Hand “the Fiend of the thony Comstock. Pvc Keturns Thanks Lorne and Loyalty. Pucxanmncs. Ie Was the Oysters Tre Easccrn Question Apart. Paddleford’s Panorama. Ans ‘A Mother's First Love. Pock’s Excnaxces. THE PRESIDENT AND HIS SHIRT. For the past two years there has been a per- petual quarrel among politicians and editors as to who was the recently elected President of these United States. But the fact remains that Mr. Hayes is very much the President, and Mr. Tilden is very -much—not..’ Puck has not taken any hand in this quarrel, for it was no funeral of his. All he has{done is to euer turn his watchful eye upon the de facto or de jure (as the case may be) President,.and praise or warn him as the circumstances might require, Until recently the President has pleased us by a policy toward his fellow-citizens of the South which seemed, by its tone of concilia- tion, to cement, to gum up, as it were, the torn map of the Union. Valuable as the paste-pot is to the average editor (see Puck’s Exchanges), it is*far more valuable to the Chief Magistrate of a torn and distracted country. ‘And, right when we were congratulating our- selves and, so to speak, patting the President ‘on the ba&k for being a good fellow, comes the rumor that the President is going to fling the Bloody Shirt to the breeze, and:array a Solid North against a Solid South. : It was Mr. Webster, if we mistake not, who firmly opposed the wearing of diplomatic re- galia by our Ministers abroad. .What would Mr. Webster say to the President at home wearing a bloody shirt? It does not become the President. It hasn’t the picturesqueness of the toga; it is more anti-Comstockish than the kilt; and it is provocative of many bickerings and quarrels, Please, Mr. Hayes, suggest to Messrs. Evarts and Blaine to run their own States, if they can; and that you will attend to the United States. Gently hint to them that, so long as you are President of this who/e country, the shirt you wear will not be a bloody one. | PUCK HAND-IN-HAND WITH ANTHONY COMSTOCK: ECENTLY our dearly belovéd Anthony Comstock took care of the morals of this city by seizing a copy of Hans Makart's great painting of the Entry of Charles V. into Antwerp. ‘To’ be sure the original of this pic- ture had been exhibited in many of the great Art-galleries of Europe. It is also true that it had been engraved on steel and on stone, and on wood, and reproduced in illustrated journals which went into the homes of Europe. But that won't do for us. These effete dynas- ties of Europe canzof send their wicked artistic | ideas over to pure America, never—while an Anthony Comstock remains to protect us. And here is where Puck comes in hand-in- hand with Mr. Comstock. If these wicked German and French artists will insist upon sending their naughty pictures, of historical events, over to this country to corrupt our youth, Puck proposes so to temper the picture to the would-be shorn lambs, as 10 remove all possibility of danger. We therefore address an open letter to Mr. Comstock, as follows: 13 North William St. Wednesday, Nov. 20, 1876. Dear Mr. Comstock :-— Your efforts in regard to Virtue deserve my most hearty thanks, I am with you heart and hand. Please look at the pictures of the robbers stealing and removing A. T. Stewart's remains, published in a recent weekly paper. Also, tnrn your attention to the *Ioys” Weeklies" —and the “* Girls’ Weeklies.” As to Art, I think you had better close up Schaus’s Gallery, and the Academy of Design, at once. The chromo business might call for your attention, except that you only attack high art. ‘As to statues I have made an arrangement with sundry clothiers in Baxter St., for trousers which I think will do away with the immodesty of the fig-leaf. In any event, before you sequestrate another wicked picture of French or German high art, bring it to me and I will clothe it so that it cannot harm the youthiest youth of our noble, but, alas, uneducated (in art) country. For Puck is nothing, if not mocest. In the interest of bully morality, and hoping you will soon organize a Society for the Prevention of Seeing Pictures, Believe me P, S,—Send your photograph. you as I have. for Talmage. In the’ cartoon on our last page will be seen a reproduction of Hans Makart’s great painting, clothed and in its right Comstock mind. And if it takes all the old clothes in Baxter Street we propose to make the pictures in America modest. Puck. I will do as much for P. PUCK RETURNS THANKS. Our readers must have observed in the Herald, of Nov. 12, a letter signed “A Com- pany.” This rather vaguely-described associa- tion announced itself as the possessor of the late Mr. A. T. Stewart’s remains (we refer to the remains that did not remain), and further- more stated that the persons advertising for the return of the said remains having neglected to comply with the conditions on which the holders were willing to deliver goods, the said goods had been cut up into small portions and dispatched to various parts of the country. It is now our pleasing. duty to acknowledge: the receipt of a specimen brick of the late: Mr. Stewart allotted to Puck. The section” for which our best thanks are due to “A Company” is about 6 inchesx3x2, and is put up much in the style of the bricks of Neapolitan ice cream made familiar as household words in the mouths of our citizens through the efforts of Mr. Allegretti; and is enclosed in a neat and tasteful envelope of tinted paper. We consider it one of the most artistic things in its peculiar line that we have ever met with. ere is, however, a rather liberal amount of it for its size. Our entire staff, including the artists, has retired from the Office, leaving that palatial apartment in undisturbed possession of this small token of ‘‘A Company’s” esteem and af- fection, The family undertaker (the same whose duty it is to inter our Spring poets) has been sent for. In conclusion, we would again express our heartfelt gratitude to our anonymous friend, for their condensed but vigorots courtesy. They can have it back, by paying expensess calling at this office, and proving property. LORNE AND LOYALTY. In a few days the newly-appointed Governor, General Lorne, will be among our neighbors over the border, if the steamer that carries that young and intelligent Scotchman doesn’t come to grief—which Heaven forbid. Puck, as a cosmopolite, must necessarily view with deep interest the administration of the government of any portion of this Continent, even if it does owe allegiance to some other power, and therefore trusts that the Canadians will be on hand to sce that the young man gets a train to Ottawa, and that some of their politicians show him how to go to wark, He is new at the bus- iness, which is not a difficult one, and will want coaching. Lorne will find himself among a very plain sort of people—a people who are accustomed to Governors, and attach no im- portance whatever to illuminations, triumphal arches, fireworks, addresses, hoarse shouts and cheering, before they find what stuff a fellow has in him, He mustn't expect to hear or see anything of this kind yet, although his record is quite a decent one. By the way, it may not be: generally known that Governor Lorne isa married man. His wife, we believe, belongs to a family of mono- polists who have contracted to run the Govern- ment of the extensive British Empire. We don’t know much about the young woman, but hope she will call and make our acquaintance when she comes to New York. She'll proba- bly get asked out in Canadian fashionable cir- cles when she’s been in the country a bit. Captain Edinburgh, who commands a ship, is to meet ;her. We shall be glad to see him, tgo—that is, if he is an improvement on his Grand Uncle George, and some other shady members of the family, Puckerings. Are watered silks dry-gouds ? Ir anybody steals the body of John I. Dav- enport, no reward will be offered for it, dead or alive. Governor-GENERAL Lorne is said to have thrown up everything except his Canada ap- pointment. Mark Lorne and his wife, Lou Lorne, are having a sic transit to the land of the snobby blue noses. Monomaniac Murpuy says there is a great deal of religion in a clean shirt. There's a great deal of clean shirt and unclean hearts in most religions and nathing else. NOTICE. Anyone offering this paper an alleged joke on Lorne Forlorn, Lawn-tennis, Lawn Randker- chiefs, Lorgnette, Laundry, A-lornzo, or any similar atrocity, will be dealt with to the fullest extent of Lor’ne justice. Puck, comicbooks.com