Puck — November 6, 1878 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TO A CHUM IN LOVE. Dear Jack: Your letter came last Saturday; T'm sure I thank you very much indeed; But am I blind, or do you really say : You call quite often on the fair Miss Tweed? So you are caught at last in ‘ melting mood,” ‘And all your celibate schemes, so serious seeming, Surrender, as I always thought they would, Unto a maiden’s matrimonial scheming. I thought you always frowned at pretty faces, ‘And sneered at women whom we called so “nic T thought you thought them all a bunch of laces, Unworihy of the slightest sacrifice. And this is but the first week, and you're si (Ob, don’t tell mee—a lover always sighs. At this same rate, by next week you'll be dying For just one glance from what's her name’s bright eyes. Ha! ha! This laugh of mine is so unruly; Pardon me, Jack, I don’t mean to be rude; Indeed, I wish I were a woman, truly, Being by such a clever fellow wooed. But Jack, old boy, be careful how you treat her; Remember Tom, who loved his wife ‘so bad,” That just before the wedding he could eat her, And six weeks after only wished he had. Kart Kase, THE COURSE OF TRUE LOVE ILLUSTRATED. There was a Young Man of Hoboken, Who went to the theatre now and then. He was powerful, young, but of intellect spare: We don't give his portrait, ‘cause he had red hair And it might hurt the paper. This is the Maiden fair as day, Who sung in a serio-comic way, And got the Young Man much gone on her, In the variety theafre, Generally called the Hoboken Temple of Thespis. This is the Gaslight that lit the gloom Of the Young Man’s boarding-house hall- bedroom. And he used to burn that same Gaslight Until exceedingly late at night, Which caused his landlady to make remarks about her gas-bills. ‘This is the gaslight, the way it was, After the Young Man put out the gas, ‘And went to bed, to dream all night Of the beautiful Maiden with eyes so bright. It was a bad case of mash, \ ‘This is the terrible oath he swore To love the Maiden forevermore. For where in all the world could there be A Maiden so awfully jolly as she? You see, he was new to the business, This is Dust of Hoboken, “shook” From the Maiden’s feet, when herself she took Off, one day, to parts unknown, With the artist who slung the euphonious bone, And derived his name from his instru- ments, ‘This is a view of the Maiden gay, Taken after she'd gone away; Showing also the way the world began To appear in the eyes of that sad Young Man, . ‘This is the heart of the love-lorn youth, Who had not yet cut his wisdom tooth. But no sort of picture would ever show ‘The quality of that young man’s woe— Not conveniently. This is the terrible oath he swore To love no Maiden—no, never more. Which proceeding was, in many respects, A terrible blow to deal the sex. But perhaps the sex can stand it. This is the early and proper hour At which that Young Man now secks his bower. He rails at life, and smiles but by stealth, But it is betterp—much—for the Young Man’s health. [The article shown above is the original G.- father’s clock, ‘Take no other.] “Carmen” is very Bizet, and so is Maple- son with “ Carmen.” Ir the publishers of the Zvening Telegram will teach their newsboys to sing out ‘ Ze/- egram, five o'clock,” and not to cry ‘Gram’ f’ *clock,’”” people will not rush away from the youngsters in terror. This advice is gratui- tously given to Puck’s candidate for mayor. Tr the east side elevated road charged five cents at all times, and had straps to hold on by, it would not require a great effort of the imagination to think one was jogging along a surface road in a crowded and filthy Third Avenue horse-car—only that the latter slips over the rails without shaking one’s vitals to Who felt bad about it. the consistency of a jelly. comicbooks.com