Puck — November 6, 1878 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. “PUCK”. No. 13 North William Street, New York. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. JOS. KEPPLER. HWARZMANN. |. C. BUNNER. SFECIAL NO7ICES. the News Agency Puck will hereafter be on Sale in London YF. Gl ‘Strand, Charing of Messrs. HENRY F. GILLIG & CO., Cross. ‘Americans in Paris, hitherto reduced to "Punch". " isfedy’ wll vow fod their watural paper on fle atthe ““Herald” ice, 49 Avenue de I'Opéra. We cannot undertake to return rejected communications, and to this rule we can make no exception. Remittances by Money Order, etc., are to be ad to Kerrier & SCHWARZMANN. Our advertning. friends are on petstated ‘on the blheads of Puck, thereon. KEP! CONTENTS. Pucx’s Map of the Municipal | Some Social Fiends, VI. of Moral Massachusetts. That Combination Key. Chum in Love (poem) — Misunderstood (illus). Pucsanincs, Talmage Shows U; The Bob-tailed Car-—E. 8. L. The Cerulean Stytes, Ths Glaring, Proats Meil Abun- ick from the Country—itlus, ‘The Theatres (poem). Not What Augustus Meant— Axsw ‘A Mother's First Love. Puck's Excuancrs. Frrzxooous Forme Axxious. ‘Who's to Pay?—illus, Digenchantment (poem). — W. OUR MAP OF THE MUNICIPAL CAMPAIGN. A Battle of Waterloo, N. Y., has been fought, and we have won, As, of course, it was known that we would. Now, fling Bully for our side! ‘Three cheers for our noble selves! Vive /e what's- his-name! Hurrah! Faugh-a-ballaugh! Puck has been for a long time envious of the war- maps with which our Esteemed Contemp. the Herald has puzzled a confused public; and, more latterly, Puck has shed bitter tears of mortification over the illustrations of murder- scenes and bank-burglaries which our other Esteemed Contemp. the Sun has given to its distracted readers. But sometimes even Puck gets his back up; and this week he has prepared for his readers a War-map which surpasses even the most artistic designs of the famous artists of the Sun and Herald, , We claim, and we think with reason, that not one of the artists in the composing rooms of those great journals can set up in mud, plas- ter or putty, a war-map equal to that on our first page this week. But the spirit of prophecy that lies within it is greater than even its artistic merits. When the Herald published its pretty pictures of Herzegovina tumbling into Bosnia with Cyprus roaming around loose, did that chromo (if we may call it so) foretell the result of the Russo- Turkish war? No. When the Sun gives us a mezzotint of Jesse Billings’s house and_ sur- roundings with beautiful photos of the foot- steps in the mud, did it convey to the troubled gazer any idea as to who shot the unfortunate and very dead female? Again, No! Here is the triumph of Puck, Aha! Now we soar as an illustrated journal far above the Esteemed Contemps. we have alluded to. As the lithographers print our brilliant pages no yote has yet been put in the ballot-box, and yet we show the picture of the elected Mayor; up your: hats! show the influences that will surround his offi- cial career; show, in fact, the whole battle- field and show up the victors. ‘There they are, Take it any way you please, and suit yourselves, THAT COMBINATION KEY. HERE does the People’s money go? That is a funny conundrum except to those despoiled parties who in vain try to answer it. Sometimes cashiers of savings banks find it necessary for their health to buy fast horses, that they may speed along the well- paved driving avenues which stretch out in many places over the face of the country; or, ocean breezes are requisite to ward off incipient dyspepsia, so they feel compelled to purchase fleet yachts—which are expensive. Or, in frequent cases home delights have fled; the bloom on the wife’s cheek has faded, the round contour of her form has vanished into the dust that gave it. So, our cashier invests in another rosier and rounder female, who is much faster than either his horse or his yacht; and more expensive, also. ‘And the mode of disposing of the People’s money is, apart from bad and speculative in- vestments, when naughty, bad men come with “jimmies” and wrenches, and gunpowder, and things; and smash Banks generally. But the triumph of this age is where the shrewd business-like Bankers ask for deposits of the People’s money, and forget to tell them that the key to the combination of the safe is given to a feeble old Janitor who lives in the Bank building. The People don’t know this, but the shrewd and business-like burglar does. He points his unloaded pistol at the Janitor’s head, and thereupon immediately re- ceives the combination that throws open to him the doors of the safe, with its treasures. Instead of undermining vaults, blasting with explosives, drilling with cold steel, the burglars gently ask the Janitor for the key, tie his arms with a rope, stuff a gag in his mouth, and quietly walk off with their spoils. This is nice for the burglars. The idea of the amount of brain- work and physical force they used to employ in endeavoring to “crack” a Hank is painful to contemplate. They order this matter better in America, now. But certain complaining persons there be who growl at the Bank directors and claim that they are not proper guardians of the deposits they solicit; and in one recent case, quite notorious, they think it queer, to put it mildly, that every money-box was opened, ex- cept one containing $50,000 belonging to the boss-director of the Bank, and a leading poli- tician of that party which supplies to the com- munity most of our burglars. It would be well if parties interested could know a little more about the internal arrange- ment of the Banks in which their money lies; and meantime, we doubt not, the burglars are preparing another quiet raid on some aged Janitor, encouraged by the recent success at Broadway and Bleecker street. TASTE AND VULGARITY. ‘THe man who chose the patterns for the cars on the Metropolitan Elevated Railway was a gentleman. The man who approved of the designs for the cars of the east-side line was a gent. Tue daily newspapers are very poor reading these wet mornings, especially when they have lain for an hour and a half on a flooded stoop before the house-girl gets up.—S. F. Mews- Letter. But they can’t be dry reading, any- how. | | i} | MISUNDERSTOOD. HearTLess Scientist— Miss Adelina, per- mit me to ask your acceptance of my Hand—"” Gusuinc Maipen—‘“‘O, Professor—so sud- den—' Heartiess Scientist (proceeding)—“ My —er—Handbook of the Buddhist Psychology and Ethnology of the Hindoos.” (Collapse of G. M.) . Parkerings. Men of faction—Politicians. Unsatisractory Letters of Credit.—Zx. Tue first silk hat of the average young man is rarely a success. A Muppy country road is something to add mire, Ir you come across a leopard in a lonely jungle, shoot him on the spot. . Guascow's bank “ busted” because British institutions are getting Americanized, yer know. A YouNG man married is a man that’s mar- red, says Shakspere. ‘True—because he’s ma'd in law. Ir you'd know what is meant by “My Grandfather's Clocks,” just glance at the old man’s embroidered socks, In theology, as in every other business, in- side tracks are desirable. A loaf of bread will convert a hungry heathen, Tuere is one advantage in going to the Opera. At least you don’t hear “ Grandfather's | Clock" between the acts, Now that the Massachusetts election is near at hand, it appears certain that Talbot a few Republicans will support their regular ticket. Grant is coming back. This is hard on the Sun. It can’t manage, at the same time, a Present-Taker candidate for a third term, and a Fraudulent President. ‘Tue swollen brooklet murmurs louder; All songless flit the feathery troupe; — The clam, departed from the chowder, Leaves but a weak potato soup. comicbooks.com