Puck — October 9, 1878 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

' PUCK. BALLADES. A BALLADE FOR DWELLERS IN TOWN. OME men for solitude are sighing, And seek a desolate retreat; Some men are sad except when lying On hillsides where the lambkins bleat, And some where boundless billows beat Contented dwell in cottage pretty: For me the town is ever sweet— I cannot live but in the city, Amid the selling and the buying, Where many men in trade compete, Amid the city’s ceaseless crying, Happy I roam with aimless feet; I know the ropes, I know each cheat, As any singer knows his ditty. *L know the turns of every street— I cannot live but in the city. Although the weather may be trying, Although the dust rise round my feet, Although the scorching blast be flying, Although I feel the slanting sleet— 1 love the town, in cold or heat; If you do not, your taste I pity; love the town, I still repeat—- I cannot live but in the city, ENVOY. Pnnce or peasant, I think it mect To say in words more wise than witty: For happiness, take my receipt— I cannot live but in the city. J. BEM. A BALLADE OF THE SEA. HE waves are rising, roaring, sweeping; The air is chill, the sky is gray, ‘The clouds once and again are weeping, The iron ship speeds on its way. For but a moment's ease T pray, I do not fear, indeed, to drown, But hate to see the winds at play— The waves go up—the waves go down. The iron ship, its straight course keeping, ‘An open path ahead must fray, Through restless waters never sleeping, In ocean wide or narrow bay, In motion ever, night and day. I wish I were a-bed in town, For here, in spite of all I say, ‘The waves go up—the waves go down. On land the sunset’s slowly creeping Over hills whereon the shadows stray; In rosy red the sun is steeping ‘The meadows redolent with hay. At sea the wind flings high the spray, It wets me through from toe to crown} At sea, beneath the setting ray, ‘The waves go up—the waves go down! ENVOY. Prince of the Waves! as best I may, I would I could avert thy frown; ‘My stomach still I cannot stay— ‘The waves go up—the waves go down, AZ OPHIR A LODGE! The World says that the Trustees of the Roman Catholic College at Manhattanville have purchased Ben Halladay’s mansion on Ophir farm, and forty acres round about it, with: the intention of removing the college there. Ophir an ophir to let us o-phir such a farm: O, phir be it from us to refuse. AMERICA. No, LVIII. THE CRICKET MATCH, FITZNOODLE IN Ya-as, the last | time I aw wote, yer know, I weferred to cwicket and to the aw Austwalians that came he-ah to play against the Amerwican fellaws, who are aw, by the way, not Amerwi- cans at all, but Bwitish fellaws who are obliged to take up their wesidence in this countwy, be- cause it isn’t convenient for them to wemain at home. Although Jack and I didn’t take any extwa- ordinarwy interwest in the Austwalians, still, as they belonged to us aw, we thought it would perwhaps be the pwopah thing to just aw honah the aw match with our pwesence. A horwible nuisance to get to the cwicket gwound—have to cwoss the wiver in a ferwy- boat. I have aw descwibed these arwange- ments befaw. We weached the gwound, which is situated in a countwy town called Hobwoken, derwived, I suppose, fwom the bwoken char- wacter of the woads, fences, and some of the aw aw houses in the neighborwhood. This village, Jack says, is wenowned for its be-ah. I was pwevailed upon to dwink some, but I found it was that peculiar hog-washy stuff that I have descwibed on a pwevious occasion, I am informed that, in stwict accordance with the Constitution of the United States, only aw German fellaws have the pwivilege of bwewing this aw be-ah, But I mustn’t wander fwom the subject. The cwicket gwound he-ah—atter Lords, Pwince’s, and the Oval, yer know-~ is a wetched. place; quite an apology for a pavi- lion, with verwy inferwiah furniture—in fact aw none at all. The club who are the pwopwictors of this aw shed call themselves the St. George’s, which, of course, is quite the corwect and Bwitish thing to do. Alll the eighteen Amerwican cwicketers wore wed caps, and the Austwalians had bluestwiped coverwings for their aw heads. Jack and I, yer know, had talked to some of the team be- faw when we wan against them at the Orleans Club, in town, at the aw time they twied to play, and aw did play with Thornton’s eleven, So they pwofessed—and pwobably wightly, too —to know me again. Amerwicans haven't bwains enough to ap- pweciate cwicket, and therefore there were ex- twemely few people there—only some Bwitish twadesmen and bwokah fellaws, with a spwink- ling of ladies—nobody, yer know, that Jack and I could comfortably fwaternize with, Our style of fellaw doesn’t come out to Amerwica, and if he does, there is no attwaction for him to wemain. ‘The Amerwican eighteen were aw, yer know, of course beaten—altho’, pon my soul, they didn’t wace after the ball badly, and succeeded in making some tolerwable-catches aw; and one fellaw, wather, indeed, weally quite a fine big, well-put-together Anglo-Amerwican cwic- ketah—called him Mash, | think—managed in one of the innings to score twenty-five wuns. Verwy good aw. Stwange stuff some of the Amerwican bowl- ing. It wolled along the gwound to the aw wicket just as little childwen woll aw—what- d’ye-call-them?—marbles. Quite too awfully beastly, yer know, I should say, for a stwikah who likes wespectable balls. The fellaw who wolled these things was formerly a wowndah playah, which aw game is called, in this coun- twy, base-ball. A DISCREET RESTAURANT-KEEPER, Customer—* Look here, this meat is tainted It’s quite offensive.” _ RESTAURANT-KEEPER—“ Yes, I think you're right, but I didn’t tell you—I thought it might spoil your appetite.” i Puckerings R “Tre times that tried men’s soles "—Pedes- trian contests. “ Scuuyter Cotrax is lecturing against the Mormons.” In Congress Smiley never objected to Mormoney. ‘Tue gate-keeper of a bridge in Monmouth county always passes his sweetheart free. He never tolled his love, ‘Tue man who sold a valuable claim in the Nevada mining regions for a paper of tobacco, “didn’t know it was loded.” Wuen a young man falls heir to all his | father’s wealth, he should not be guilty of parsimony with Pa’s money. Tue exchange editor of the Albany Argus has a bountiful supply of scissors and paste in his office, but not a drop of ink. THE THEATRES, Manacer Absey has given us another amus- ing novelty— Bouquets and Bombshells.” Al- though Mr. Shannon has translated and adapted it from the German of Moscr, he has not suc- ceeded in giving it an English tone. No British hussar captain of the present time ever went mooning about here, there, and everywhere, in his uniform, and cutting such capers as Mr. Shannon makes him. : Mopyjeska continues to delight numerous and select audiences by her chaste, if we may use the term, personation of Camille at the Fifth Avenue. Answers for the Aneious. K, H.—It will do, as you see. T. 0. P.—No room there, Try the bottom, HaseLTINE.—Let her join the good cause. ARTFUL Dopcer.—It will not do, young man. You can't come that gameon us. We dont put advertise ments in the editorial pages of PucK, under the guise of political articles, Advertising rates can be obtained on application. A DrucatsT, Boston,— So you wish to know what our artist. means by giving Josiah G. Abbott, the candidate for Governor, four-jointed fingers. You must be a pretty sort of fellow to enjoy the rights of citizenship, you must. Brace yourself up with aqua fortis; then go and make the aquaintance of your local politicians, and, above all, get an opportunity of shaking hands with Mr. Abbott. ’ comicbooks.com