Puck — October 2, 1878 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. “PUCK”. No. 13 North William Street, New York FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. . Terms To SUBSCRIBERS. ‘one year, or s2 numbers. One Copy, cx months, cr 96 number One Copy ~ H.C. BUNNER:.......Maxacing Eprrox. = SPECIAL NOTICES. Puck will hereafter be on Sale in London, at the News Agency of Messrs. HENRY F. GILLIG & CO., 449, Strand, Charing Cross, Pec may be had in Saratoga at BRENTANO’S new store, opposite Congress Park pee Remittances by Money Order, etc., are to be addr x VARZMAN friends are coly required to pay bills presented on the billheads cf Puck, with our stamp itrresse thereon. KEPPLER & SCHWARZMANN. CONTENTS. Pulpit Gush, He Despised a Liar. Firzxooptk 1m AMERICA. Paying the Pensioners. Dramatic Notes Honesty is the Best Policy ‘The | Answers 40 Tae Anxious Puck's Comedy Stories—The |. Trufies. | A Mayfair Mystery. | Puck's Exewances. Cartoon age Goes to sce the Our first-p2 Brother Tal What? OUR FIRST-PAGE CARTOON. Puck is nothing if not natural-historical. Consult your Webster's Dictionary, page 562, and you will see that “Gece” is “an object of scorn; GECK, v. t. is ‘‘ To cheat, trick,” etc.; and.further, that “Gecko” is a reptile, which seems “to disappear as if by magic” (clearly in November next). If our cartoon, and this very brief explana- tion, does not describe the bold, the burglarious Conventioner, the bully Ben of Massachusetts, then Art, Literature and the Natural Sciences will fail to properly describe him to posterity. A beautiful representation of the reptile, not unbottied, however, can be foundon the page mentioned above. BROTHER TALMAGE GOES TO SEE THE ELEPHANT. QB rotuer TALMAGE has done it. JF) He has done the can-can; he has skip- ped in the mazy waltz; he has dodged the high-kickers of the ‘‘ Buckingham;” he has been disgusted at the Celtic-Circassians of Broadway; he has nearly succumbed to the delirious fumes of the potent Roederer as served to him by the bewildering Hebes in the off- streets from Fifth Avenue; and probably he emptied his well-laden pockets under the seduc- tive influences of faro or “ policy.” We say that Brother Talmage has done these things, because Brother ‘Talmage has told the reporters of the daily Press that he has per- *sonally investigated and witnessed the tempta- tions to which young men are subjected. ‘Thus he spoke “‘ as one having authority.” He knows how it is himself. He has gone and seen the Elephant, from the snout to the tail. And to what end? If he tells his experiences in his own dramatic manner, he will prance around his stage to the dulcet cornet of Arbuckle in a most astonishing fandango. He will throw himself on the pul t lounge and quaff imaginary champagne, exhibiting the exhilarating effects of that most bewildering tipple. He will describe how the disheveled tresses floating over disordered dresses, revealing glimpses of — And the choir—all male voices—with one accord will sing— “Yum! yum! yum!” And then those magic lanterns, so dear to all church-festivals, will be brought into play, and he will exhibit views of what he saw—‘“colored according to nature.” . If Brother Talmage does this he will hold the mirror up to nature and tell the truth, As a Preacher of the Word, can he do other- wise than tell the truth? But Brother Talmage has a nice little theology of his own, It generally consists of three prin- ciples. First—to skip about like a clown in a circus; Second--to talk dam nonsense; Third— to ask for some more money for the Tabernacle. Suppose, in this instance, he takes only his second principle, and talks dam nonsense. He will then say—‘ Dear Friends, I have— ah—been—(here he will skip) among the dark- ened purlieus of gas-lighted sin! (here he will cut two pigeon-wings to the O. P. side of his pul- Pit) and the horrors I saw there are too horrible tomention. Dearly beloved, these awful females, resembling the (Aere he will stand on his head) fabled Golconda, or Gorgan, I mean, will draw you into the jaws of Hell! |(/ere he will open that mouth, to give his Young Men an idea of the jaws of Hell.) At this point the 'abernacle will be suddenly emptied. Now, the young men of New York and Brook- lyn have a laudable habit of reading the daily papers. If Brother ‘Talmage describes these urlieus of vice as they are, the young men Ebest imore than they know already; if he falsely describes them as abysses of all sorts of horrors, one set of young men will know that he lies, and the other set will go to see for themselves, If Pastor Talmage can see these sights, and come out unscathed (they will argue), so can we. And they will follow in the footsteps of their skirmishing Pastor. ‘The physician, to cure diphtheria, does not cut his patient’s throat to “get at” the disease. ‘The lawyer does not bribe his client to com- mit murder, in order that he may try a new plea before a jury. The butcher does not put trichinz in his pork to see if it will kill his customers, or not. But the Preacher mixes in all the ‘“under-the- aslight” orgies of the metropolis, in order that fe may know how it is himself. Bro. Talmage! Bro, Talmage! You have pranced and howled, and skipped and done ground and lofty tumbling upon your pulpit- stage, but the public has rather laughed at thar censured you. But in this last escapade, in all kindness of spirit, we must remind you that they who touch pitch will be defiled; and that there is a prayer used in all Christian churches, which, in preach- ing to young men, you will do well to remember. Itis— «Lead us not into temptation.” AFTER KELLY'S TRIUMPH, WHAT ? ' is currently reported, at this writing, that Mister Kelly has beaten Mister ‘Tilden and his cohorts at the recent Democratic Con- vention at Syracuse. But the proof of the pudding is in the eating thereof. It as perhas true that Mister Kelly controlled, in a degree, the action of the Convention; although even this is left in doubt. But what is he to do with the voters? Pope Conkling, of the Republican party, has allowed poor pilgrim Curtis to kiss his political toe. And now the Republicans are as sweet as two peas in a pod, and are going on to victory, united together, under the xgis of Conkling— Hayes or no Hayes. And the anti-Tammany people, being kicked out of the heaven of the Regular Democracy, are quietly bargaining to get into some warmer place. Their backbones are curved fora noble effort; their tongues roll with vituperation; their capacious hands are stretched forth for the spoils. And this party and that faction are what Mister Kelly has to contend with, He might make a fight with the Republicans in front, but how is he also to stand the Democratic fire in his rear? And Mister Kelly will probably find his Waterloo in November, He scored one defeat when he swore Mr. Tilden should not be nomi- nated for the Presidency: still another when he attacked the late John Morrissey; he will score another when he sets himself up as a sort of Czar over the voters of this city, And three defeats don’t make a victory. That by employing some thousands of starv- ing men a few weeks before election Tammany can secure a majority of votes in this cosmo- politan city nobody doubts; but Mister Kelly cannot chuck his little chequers all over the State. It is one thing to capture a Convention, and quite another to capture a majority of the voters of a sovercign State, Puck tells his story in his cartoon; Mister Kelly is doubtless able and willing to capture the whole State government and run it; the grasp of his arms is long enough—and strong enough, But his tail seems to be caught. There appears to be a hindrance—a something that holds him back, as it were. And in the poli- tical horizon that power looms up in the form of Senator Conkling, who, if not a “ biger man than old grant,” is certainly, at this crisis, a very much bigger man than Mister Kelly. FUNCH AND BEACONSFIELD. Dear, stupid old Grandmother Punch—the Punch, once, of Thackeray, of Jerrold, of Mark Lemon, Leech, Doyle and Shirley Brooks, that led public opinion, and didn’t slavishly fol- low it ina sickly manner, as at_present—still manages to circulate considerably among con- servative British taxpayers, chiefly owing to its past glories, and a certain mild but artistic style about the cartoons of Tenniel and pic- tures of Du Maurier and Sambourne. Punch \oves the titled more than the great; and, now that Beaconsfield is the most promi- nent man in England, Punch has published a book of all the cartcons that have appeared in his pages since “ Dizzy” first sprang into the political arena. One was forgotten, which Puck reproduces in juxta position with another, ‘They speak for themselves; and the “most ridi- culous member of the House”’ is now Premier of England, Earl of Beaconsfield, and Knight of the Garter. “Puck has an irreverent picture of Mr, Peter Cooper sitting at the feet of ‘ The.” Allen, and listening with a beaming counte- nance while the distinguished gambler, tempo- rarily debarred from the pursuit of practical olitics by his imprisonment on a charge of Romicide, ‘commits to the good old philanthro- pist the apostleship of the Greenback gospel. One does not like to see Mr. Cooper exposed to ridicule; but if he wi/? place himself in a ridiculous position, the world cannot help laughing."—. Y. Zribune. Of course, Puck does not desire to ridicule dear old Papa Cooper. He ridicules himself. If he will abjure his Greenback insanity, Puck will publish a four-page Supplement illustrating all the good deeds he has done up to the time he got swallowed up in an air-cushion of in- flated greenbacks. comicbooks.com