Puck — September 25, 1878 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE SUNDAY MEDICINE No L/QuoRS Sora | RECIPES ‘V0 on Sunday’ Any Srexness Ad A Beverage * Funn ba Guns 1, Every saloon shall maintain a corps of physicians during all the hours of the legal Sabbath. 4. In dropsical complaints —lager beer, as a sort of anti-fat. ACCORDING ‘TO ST. DITTENHOEFER. eS » 17 3. For nervous excitement—potheen or Sixth Ward 2. Prescriptions will be given gratuitously. For green- whisky. fever, cure apple-jack. be perceived why all saloons are required to keep three beds—or more. SEEING HER OFF OUNG Theocritus Snooks was, in the vernacular of to-day, ‘clean mashed” on Miss Angelina Peabody. Angelina, it is only fair to state, reciprocated | the aforementioned mash with all her soul. Theocritus took her on picnics and other hot- weather recreations, and his bosom heaved with emotion when he thought of the happy day which should see them one. When, not long ago she received an invita- tion to go into the country to spend a few months, she promptly accepted the same; and, when Theocritus was made aware of this, to him, terrible news, he pined and wondered how in the world he would be able to exist, even for that short space of time, without his loved one. Every time he thought of it he felt worse. Finally, the evening previous to her de- parture arrived, and ‘Theocritus went around to spend an hour or two with her, and bid her [| an affectionate farewell. She wouldn’t let him off so easy; she asked him if he would sce her off on the following morning—that is, if he would call around and walk down to the depot with her. Of course he would—he would only be too happy to escort her. ‘Then he went home, iiis soul glowing with dreams of future bliss. On the following morning he arrived at the house of Miss Peabody and, after bidding her | parents and the family good-bye, she presented ‘Theocritus with two huge carpet bags to carry for her. He picked them up with martial pride, and the twain started off in the best of spirits. | last much lo ger. His trousers were dangling around his heels to such an extent that he ran the risk of tripping every step he took. | “Hurry, hurry!" said Angelina, | swith yes standing out like door-knobs he made another effort and reached the depot When they had walked about two blocks (there was no line of horse-cars running from where they started to the depot), Theocritus imagined that cach valise contained something like a half a ton of iron ore; but he said nothing. | He trudged on bravely, and determined that he | just as the train was coming in. ‘Then he bade would martyr himself sooner than allow her to | her farewell and started for home, howling like notice the state of his feelings. Perspiration | a wild mat flowed copiously from each particular pore, | — He says the next time she goes away he will and every footstep he took seemed to give birth | either hire a carriage or pretend that he is too to a fresh blister, while his hands were red, ill to accompany her to the depot. swollen and fiery, and he felt as though his We think his word may be relied on in this arms were coming out by the roots. case if, as he says, he really felt as though he “Lovely morning, eh, ‘heocritus?” lisped | had played a ball match, run the gauntlet, Angelina with musical sweetness. been kicked by a mule, and lectured by a Yes, very!” responded her now sweltering | minister, when he laid her bags down. lover with a forced smil i ROKOM. Every block seemed like a mile to him and, — - just as he gave her a hint which, he thought, , might induce her to stop and look into a win- | dow containing some new-style hats down the street, she happened to notice the town-cloc! Wuar Loxpon LauGus ar. | Sims Reeves, the tenor, disappointed an au- ‘and to discover that’che hadn't so inuch time | lience in Leeds on account of sickness, which to spare as she had imagined, and that, in | Prevented hin com a sing. Sue ie wit of order to catch the train she would be obliged | 176 tONn! ell ab Stas: Reeves didnot’ a torun. ‘This intelligence went through Theo. | “©? critus like the draft through a ferry boat, but | he had to respond. | A san has been arrested in London for The bags had beaten against his legs so | passing stage-money at a chop-house. He much that he felt as though he had been | played one of the culprits in the third act of clubbed. He hadn't run more than half a | the “Celebrated Case,” where each of the gal- block when, in making a spring to crossa mud- | ley-slaves receives money. This super took puddle, both his hind suspender buttons flew | his to the nearest chop-house, presented it in off, and his trousers commenced to work | payment, received change, and went on his down, | way rejoicing. Subsequent accounts represent It was a terrible moment for him; he couldn’t ! him in jail.