Puck — September 18, 1878 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

14 PUCK. Vassar Cottece didn’t pay: expenses last year. That is, it spent money Vassar than it made it. (This is pretty tame, but then you must remem- ber it’s about a college.)— Burlington Hawkeye. Tue time when a pious editor is excusable for knocking splinters from the third com- mandment is when he jabs the wrong end of his pen holder in his inkstand and. hastily shoves it behind his ear without wiping it off. —Whitehall Times. Propasty, at the last, dreadful day, when Gabriel sounds his trump, if he doesn’t stop once or twice between the blasts, and shout, “General, General! Colonel, I say!” not more than two-fifths of the men in American ceme- teries will get up.— Hawkeye. Some scientist has put a flea under a micro- scope, and describes exactly how it looks. When we get a flea we put him under our thumb-nail, and he looks as flat as a wafer when we get through with him.—Cin. Break- fast Table. TampeRING with the beard is always a dan- gerous experiment. An eminently respectable citizen, who shaved off his moustache last week, was mistaken for a noted base-ball player within less than two hours afterwards, and urgently entreated to pray for a sick man the followin; day. His wife bankrupted a broom-handle and demoralized a brand new silk-hat in chasing him out of the house, while a dog that he had fondled from puppyhood’ ture his pants, and the baby was scared so bad that it hasn't got through giving its mother the particulars yet.— Cin, Breakfast Table. A Founpry for the manufacture of pretzels from equal parts of iron ore, fire-clay and cement, is projected in this city. The process of manufacture will differ somewhat from the style of casting now in vogue, and will doubt- less command the universal attention of work- ers in iron. The blast furnaces where the mass is melted are so constructed as to produce a heat ten times greater than that necessary for the casting of stove-litis, plow-points, &c. The molten metal is run into moulds, of the same beautiful design now in use, and served cold, with a little salt, The projectors claim that the materials to be employed will turn out a pretzel much more pliable, and in every way superior to those now manufactured.— Ov? City Derrick, A Boston man and his wsthetic daughter are spending the summer in this city. Last evening they were sittin; ng on the front piazza, when the father requested the daughter to read him the evening paper. “What shall I read about?” queried the Boston girl, as she opened the paper. ‘Read the European news,” responded the father. * The Boston girl began: “It is rumored that Beaconsfield will not accept the decoration of the——” “ Proceed,” said the father, after a pause. “I cannot,” returned the Boston girl, blush- ing still deeper. “Why not?” queried the father, in some surprise. “ Because I do not like to,” replied the Bos- ton girl, painfully, “Nonsense,” exclaimed the father sternly; “read the item, I tell you.” ‘The Bos.on girl caught up the paper in des- peration, stared at it in a stony manner, at- tempted to speak and fainted dead away. When she had been restored and the excite- ment had subsided, the father took the paper out behind the house, turned to the dreadful item and read: “It is rumored that Beaconsfield will not accept the decoration of the Garter!”—Rock- land Courier, APOLLINARIS NATURAL Mineral Water,| Z The Queen of Table Waters. HIGHLY EFFERVESCENT. Dr, J. MILNER eae Lendon, “The Exquisite Apoliinaris OF. J. A. WAN mi bsolutely pure and \se: free from all the ob- psia, aud Loss of , Surgeon to Sore Wholesome P., Physician Of great value hy respiratory organs, agreeable and useful. FREDERICK DE BARY & CO., 41 £43 Warren Street, NEW YORK. Sole Agents for United States and Canadas. FOR SALE BY DEALERS, GROCERS AND DRUGGISTS. Evere genuine bottle bears the Yellow label. dof hilum AND YET BEING SOLD AS sy co’ SS: RE WORTHLESS IMITATIONS CEES GATE LISCIRUNY & COS: CENOINE ARTICLE THE ARTIST PHOTOGRAPHER, 347 Enst 14h Strect, Between 1st & and Aves., New Vork,—Closed an Saturdays only OTTO LEWIN, Tho well known Artist Photographer, 989 THIRD AVE., 8. E. Cor. 59th St, 294 BOWERY, above Houston St. NO CURE, NO PAY! CONTRACTS MADE FOR CLEARING TSES AND SHIPS UP ALL KIND OF VERMIN, RATS AND MICE. Principal Depot, 64 Fulton St., New York. B. ISAACSEN. In Germany all fish are brought to market in tanks and sold alive. A man don’t have to lie till his tongue blisters every time he goes fishing over there, but can walk into market on his way home and get the wriggling documents to prove that he had a tip-top good day and a whole basketful of luck.—Cin. Breakfast Zable, THE GREAT EUROPEAN NOVELTY. HUNYADI JANOS. The Best Natural Aperient. The Lancet, — “Hunyadi roe, ion Liebig aire thai A M. R.S., Royal Hospiial, Netley. ‘ireferred to Pullna rey and Friedrichsball, A Wineglassful a Dose. LE TO THE TRAVELLING PUBLIC. ei De Bary & Co., 41 & 43 WARREN Street, y YORK, Sole Agents for the United States and Canada. FOR SALE BY DEALERS, GROCE DRUGGISTS, ‘The Label on every genuine Bottle is printed on IBLUES paper Arnold, Constable & CO. FALL IMPORTATION OF Paris Novelties Pekin Stripe Silks, Silk and Satin Brocades, Plain Colored Failles, Plain and Brocade Velvets. EXTRA QUALITY White Satins and Failles, FOR BRIDAL DRESSES. An elegant Stock of PLAIN AND FANCY DRESS GOODS. PLAIDS, Ete. Broadway, cor, 19th Strect, sssczs DENT AL Dr. SWEENY’S OLD ESTABLISHED AND WELL-KNOWN ROOMS, atest Durability re Gold filling, (roa $2.50. Other filling $1.00 with pure fresh G: willdo well to try ws before going cleewbere, -Upen venti ays DENTAL OFFICE Philippine Dieffenbach - Truchsess, 162 West 23rd St., bet. 6th & 7th Aves., N. Y. Lare 389 CANat Sraeer. comicbooks.com