Puck — September 18, 1878 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cyril broke this gorgeous project to his patroness with extreme caution, lest the vision of greatness thus disclosed should he too much for her, and his prudence was not misplaced. She did not, however, faint, but she cried like a child, and wobbled all over like a jelly. “If you do it, Cyril,” gasped she— if you bring his Imperial Highness the Shah of Persia bencath my humble roof, there is nothing— nothing that I can deny you, You have only to name your reward.” “Myra!” said Cyril, with his usual presence of mind. ‘The Baroness turned pale and swallowed something in her throat; but she was not one to ‘o back from her word. “If the Shah comes here,” said she, shall have Myra.” (To be continued.) you Puck’ 8 ‘ege. CREAM OF THE BUC! THE KET. Wny, Angelina, how you have tanned!— Boston ‘Post. Anp Ananias stood forth.—Bib/e. ‘This was so that Agnes Jenks, Eliza Pinkston and John Sherman could stand first, second and third, — New Haven Register, Peopte who have been to the springs, the lakes and the seasides, are now opening the front window-shutters and coming in from their summer retreats on the back stoops.—Cin. Breakfast Table, One of the waiters at Dunbar's depot res- taurant has learned to play a tune on the gong. Will Mr. Edison please hide himself or go away and chew iron for a while ?— Burlington Hawk- oye. ‘Tne mortality among the colored people of the South from yellow fever is somewhat amaz- ing, when we consider the drain that has been made upon that element of society to supply Georgia Minstrels and Jubilee Singers for the North.—Cin, Sat. Night. A norse and buggy was sold in front of the Merchants’ Exchange, the other day, for $35, the auctioneer remarking that at such a figure there was money in it as a speculation. All the purchaser had to do was to drive round the Park and manage to get run into by a rich man.—San Francisco News Letter, Me One alleges to have discovered that the reason Barbara Freitchie didn’t wave a flag at Vredericktown, was because there was no Bar- bara Freitchie to wave it. ‘len years hence some one will declare that there was no South- ern rebellion, that Jeff. Davis was Hezekiah Longbottom, and lived in Berks county in a cave during the alleged war.—ANorristown Herald. A Burrato physician recommends cham- pagne as a preventive of yellow fever, and the Buffalonians who used to sneak in the back door of saloons now boldly walk in the front entrance. ‘Thus far not a single case of yellow fever has occurred in Buffalo.—Norr. Herald. ‘Tne pouting Paternoster pokes at the lurid fence, And the moaning moon mauls madly, mauls madly for ten cents. ‘The mealy-mouthed mosquito gnaws at his nether lip, And the sad-eyed wandering lamp-post leers at the lonely ship. The greedy green grass grizzled so glibly at our feet, As the posthumous potato-bug snoozed sweetly in the sleet. ‘The lithe-limbed lizard lowed loudly as che limped along the lake, And the jimber-jawed Juggernaut with ecstasy did quake. ‘The slabsided son of a snail scratches his silky mane, As the ruby-toed rhinoceros recled through the roaring rain; ‘The turbulent tomato-cans threw taffy to the shad, And the gamy gadfly giggled at the gander from Bagdad. — Graphic. Bocarpus can make away with forty-nine fish:balls out of a possible fifty. Globe. ‘Tue Shah of Persia has ninety wives, No wonder that he lies awake and chews tobacco in bed.— Burlington Hawkeye. We judge from the language of Chas, Reade that he must have been reared among kicking in. Breakfast Table, ‘Tue yellow fever hasn't entirely suspended business in New Orleans. ‘There is occasionally a murder there.— /%ila, Kronikle- Herald, AprLes are so plenty in this market that Dboys decline to steal them even when the trees are left out of doors all night.— Rome Sentinel, Cuucacoans who haven't taken advantage of the bankrupt law, are looked upon with suspi cion by their neighbors. “Tue height of impudence” has been measured, no suitable opportunity having presented itself since Kearney’s arrival. — Yon: hers Gazette, Puck’s portrait of his “Fitznoodle in Amer- ica,” and James Gordon Bennett, are taken from the same photograph. This is severe.— Oil City Derrick. See here, how is this? tuptey without paying your debts? What's this wretched country coming to, anyhow ?—Bur- lington Hawkeye. Can't go into bank- ‘Tne great scarcity of grasshoppers in the far west this summer will compel many of the destitute chairmen of relief associations to go to work.— Burlington Hawkeye. A CANNON-BALL flies at the rate of six hundred fect in as 4x, Mf that is a fact we wouldn’t like to be a “second” in a duel were cannon were employed. — Cin. Saturday Night. ‘Tink of a Glasgow man throwing a glass of water in his wife’s face to punish her in- fidelity! Seems a harmless way ta lick-her, ‘The amount of punishment depends, however, on whether he makes the Glas-go with the water, —Phila, Evening Bulletin. ‘Tius is a fact. An experienced clothing dealer, seeking to convince a prospective cus- tomer, lately gave himself away in this manner: “When you want to buy clothing cheap, come to me. I'm none of your blamed one-price establishments." —Xome Sentinel. Faul Cin, Saturday Night. never A noy on West Hill started to school the opening day of the term, and before he was five blocks from home he lamed a dog, lost his geography, scared a horse, broke his slate, and had three fights. ‘Times are looking up.— Burlington Hawkeye. “No, darling,” he said, as his wife asked for a new dress, ‘1 can’t afford it. 1 feel it my duty to help the yellow fever sufferers,” and then he went around the corner, and the bar- keeper handed out the bottle and a glass and let him help himself— ila, Aronikte- Herald, Jupcmenr should take its time in shooting out the facts before it condemns a man simply on account of the company he happens to be found in, A writer for this paper slept be- tween a couple of Congressmen the other night, but it was in a sleeping-car, and there was no other berth to be had.— Breakfast Zable, thee?” wrote a young man to his girl, “forget thee? When the earth forgets to revolve; when the stars forget to shine; when the rain forgets to fall; when the flowers forget to bloom; then, and not till then, will I forget thee.” ‘Three wonths later he was going to see another girl with a wart on her nose and $40,000 in bank. — Norristown Herald. A concert is to be held in an Indiana town next Fridvy night, and we are extremely de- sirous of attending it. One of the features of the programme is “Grandfather's Clock,” to be sung by a young lady, and we have always had a strong desire to hear that song sung.—Norris- town Herald. Mow are the mighty fallen! ‘The Eastern is to be use attle-boat, between ‘Texas and london.—, Y. AM/ai/. She is to have a newsteer-ing apparatus and to be called ‘The Great Occident, instead of The Great Orient. It was in preparation for this use that she first brought over the submarine ca-bul.— Thila. Evening Bulletin, Great “ Jasper ADain” writes: “ What is the sig nificance if you drop your fork and it sticks upright in the floor ?”, We don't know what the superstition is, Jasper, but if you sit down to the table and break a cracker into your hat and then put your soup-plate on your head and walk out, it signifies that you are dangerously liable to get most awfully drunk.— /awze Ir seems, by the dispatches, that President Davis, of the board of school trustees for the District of Columbia, was removed because he “ prevaricated.” ‘That is, he was a citizen of Newbury, Mass, and voted there, and then, to obtain his appointment, made oath that he was not and never did, ‘This is about as_near as a man can run to * prevarication” and miss it. ‘To go any closer than this is dangerous.— Burlington Hawkeye. A_rew days ago a tramp, who was sparring his devious way along near Reno, conceived a brilliant idea for raising the wind. He knew that the Wells-Fargo stage would pass along that road in about half an hour, so he took olf his coat, tore his shirt and pockets, rolled around in the dust, and finally tied himself, with much difficulty, to a tree. His intention was to relate to the stage passengers how he had been foully dealt with by highwaymen, and have a subscription to repair his losses taken up on the spot. ‘I'he stage, however, took a short cut by a new road that day, and didn’t | 6° by atall. After waiting until dusk, the dis- | gusted tramp concluded to remove his bond: but before he got the first knot loose, a grizz! came down out of the mountain and picnicked off the greater part of his left leg.—Sun Fran- cisco News Letter. comicbooks.com