Puck — September 11, 1878 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. “PUCK”. No. 13 North William Street, New York. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terms Jo SupscriBERs. One Copy one year, or $2 numbers... One Copy. six months, or 26 numbers. ‘One Copy tor thirteen weeks... Postace Fries. HH. C. BUNNE! SPECIAL NOTICES. Mawacine Eptron. Puck will hereafter be on Sale in London, at the News Agency of Messrs. HENRY F. GILLIG & CO.,' 449, Strand, Chang, Crow. Puck may be had in Saratoga at BRENTANO'S pew store, opposite Congress Park. ed Herald” Amencans m Pufls, hitherto reduced to * Punch” “Judy”. will now find their natural paper on file at the |B, 49 Avenue de I'Opéra. ‘wih to warn the pubic, expecially Ameri Raropei againnt nus edition of Poca, publishes Made? thetitlcol “The Figaro” Though lareely made up foc our columns, the contents quoted arc badly garbled, and are smixed wlth some foreign matter which we vuerly repudiate, The Colgserauine edition of Puce is to be obtained of war authorteed agentes BG Remittances by Moncy Order, ctc., are to be addressed t ‘Kerrire & ScHwarzMann. ‘Firzxoo ‘The Hexary’s Latest Nonna: tion. Poetry and Fores Politics. — P A Bad Memory for Faces [ill Mixed Poesies —W.M.L. | Pucx’s Excna: CARTOONS. STRIKERS, Cut down, cut down, and then cut down once more! Ere long the drivers’ wages will begin ‘To bear close likeness to the wages of sin— The amount of which is a bit of Biblical lore. When times are hard, and workmen's souls are sore, Lest the directors’ turtle soup grow ttin, Or his son-and-heir lack a new diamond-pin, They cut the driver's pay, cut thrice before. Poor wretches! chilled and bitten to the core, When the keen winds of Winter are set free: Or, when the town-bound Summer gasps for breath, Sweating out strength at every fevered pore. “Cut down ” a little more, and we shall see A skeleton driver in the pay of Death STEWART AND STEWARD. Hark to the cry grown strong, and growing yet, ‘Of men that, having cried in vain for bread, Now cry for—silence, ere the word be said! Silence! yet look how Hunger’s face is set; Grim with desire of what it cannot get. Hark! moaning of far-off mouths that must be fed, Drowning a sound of mourning for the dead, Where all the South is one vast lazaret! And now, when lo! Disease and Death are met ‘The one who out of his abundance can At his own will do all things—even he Pays with a trifle Charity’s holy debt. ‘And in his marble tomb a mean dead man Smiles, rotting, on hi meaner legatec. TO D. KEARNEY, ESQ. O thou who speakest as no man ever spake: Fresh child of ignorance, nurtured in no school; Who teachest Etymology's self to pool Her issues, how shall we a chaplet make To bind thy brows whose genius could awake ‘Those matchless phantasms of the Bohemian Ghoul? The Moon-eyed Leper—the Chicken-Breasted Mule— The Coat-tail-Clinging Cormorant—and could take Our souls where, shrined in mystery opaque, ‘The Hell-hoofed Bondholder baffles human sight, ‘And the cock-eyed Pelican of Perdition dwells? From Thersites thou dost bear away the cake— double-barreled god of Blatherskite, Tipped with the sulphur of two dozen Hells! PUCK'S STANDING CANDIDATE FOR THE MAYORALTY. We again trot forth Our Candidate for the Mayoralty. Our object in so-doing is to counteract the undesirable influence of the so-called “Bonner movement,” which, we are pained to see, is assuming considerable proportions. It is not that we have any objections to Mr. Bonner, considered as Mr. Bonner. He isa very excellent man; and, were there no other and heftier Richmond in the field, we should probably vote for Mr. Bonner for Mayor. But, we will put the matter to the dispas- sionate intelligence of a great people—where, where is Mr. Bonner alongside of Mr, Bennett? Echo answers “Where?” And if echo didn’t, we would. Mr. Bonner can drive a fat horse; he isa good judge of a sensation novel, and he has done society some service in bringing out Syl- vanus Cobb. But where is he on slinging the festive dumb- bell? How do his legs look in tights? How long could he hold out ina game of polo? Can he stand on his head ? If Mr. Bonner were able to come to the front, | and, with his hand on his heart, give us his word as a gentleman that he is capable of one single simple handspring, we might, even at this date, withdraw our opposition to his nomination. But we can scarcely hope for this from the editor of the Ledger; and we feel more and more a growing conviction that the only hope of the metropolis lies in the one man to whom we may look with the fullest confidence that he will make us what we have never had be- fore, a ‘Truly Athletic Mayor. We appeal to our various E. C’s., the Sun, the World, the Tribune, and all others, to cast aside all party considerations, and join with us in upholding the glorious cause of acrobatism in ‘politics. We dare not ask our E. C., the Herald, to drown its modesty in the blushes of ingenuous shame, and support the son of its own founder in the political arena, But let all our other friends of the press rally to the stan- dard of the snowy-crested Navarre of Polo, We trot him out again, with renewed faith in the potent magic of his name; in the phenom- enal fascination of his personal appearance. It is true that certain of our Esteemed Contem- poraries, lacking somewhat in subtle sympathy with high and noble aims, have drawn invidious comparisons between his portrait and that of our friend the Hon. Mr. Fitznoodle. But we will not think of this, Rally, brethren, to the aforesaid white plume; and be your battle-cry this year—“Polo your issues!” Later.—We breathe more freely. Mr. Bonner has finally declined to be a candidate for Mayor, And now J. G. B. is in undisputed possession of the field. Polo your issues! Purkerings. Every stable is a manurefactory. D1aGonat vests are much worn. Beware! Honeyed words are often only taffy Appropriate food for Eli Perkins—Cracked wit.. A Lesson from a copy-book is learned by wrote. A_nuwioy is very painful on the foot—so is a safe. Sarery valves—Bivalves, for the next eight months, “Ir stopped when the old man died "—his pension. Wuo will be our next Mayor? what's his name? Why-er- Wuen things come to the worst, they wear —the ulster (for next winter's use) and are happy. No ove ever accused a Democratic primary of honesty till Ben, Butler charged it with dis- hone-ty. is detained but the ‘Tue bark Isis, from New Orlean: at Quarantine. ‘ Barkis is willin’, authorities are not. “WuitHeR thou goest, I ghost,” is what Hamlet said to the materialization of his de- ceased progenitor. ALTHOUGH ministers are supposed to be truthful men, they seldom fail to give the re- mains a good notice. In a week or two we shall be bounteously blessed with “The melancholy days have come,” with variations. Ar a Tammany banquet the waiters can be distinguished from the guests only by the su- perior fit of their swallow-tail coats. ‘THe man who gets an apple-pip into the cavity of a decayed tooth, and hasn’t a tooth- pick or a pin handy, is bound to suck seed. Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some invent a patent medicine, and get their portraits on the fourth page of the Sun, SniwKins has been at Long Branch over Sun- day, and swears that for freshness it’s between the air and the hackmen, with the eggs a long way behind. Puck’s ALManac, ‘* Why, all my knack at saying and making funny, delicious, delirious things has been used in it. And now prepare to get ready to look out for it”—so says Puck. Kearney is a maligned man. ‘The lecherous moon-eyed Press incorrectly reports him. “ Odi profanum vulgus et poluphloisboio tha- lasses.” Such is his ordinary classical lan- guage. Ersorts are being made to induce Kearney to go to Montreal. Labor discussions there are very acrimonious, and often last many years, This seems to be the only means by which we can get rid of him. comicbooks.com