Puck — September 11, 1878 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

12 should be ever careful. It behoves us all to be so at times. Clearly, you know me not; and deception abounds. For instance, I may not be a clergyman at all. I may, in fine, be none other than a knave—a wolf in sheep’s clothing.’ Saying which, he laughed a laugh, which, some- how or other, seemed to grate upon my ear. “However, he proceeded to pay me the amount due, as I have said. ““«Let me-see,’ he continued musingly; ‘it will be in all, four—three—two—ten. Good! If you will kindly look over these, Mr. Filby, you will find there is threepence short of the required sum, which I will pay you in copper coin immediately.’ He removed his spectacles, and pushed over to me three one hundred pound Bank of England notes, ten five pound-notes, and the check spoken of, wnich was for eighty- three pounds nine and ninepence. Satisfied that the notes were genuine, I looked up at my wealthy customer and found him fumbling in pocket after pocket for the copper money. “My dear sir!” I exclaimed, “pray don’t bother about the trifling pence. If you are satisfied, 1 am thoroughly so. “*Nay,’ he rejoined; ‘ that will not do. Busi- ness is business. You are entitled to your de- mand—ay, and to the uttermost farthing. I buy goods of you for a certain amount; I therefore must pay you every iota of that certain amount, or | shall not be easy in my mind.’ “A clearly upright man this; lucky the con- gregation that had so just and evenly balanced. a man for their pastor. So ran my thoughts as he counted out the remaining threepence and placed them in my hand with a kind of dig, as though he were glad to get rid of them, and set his mind at ease. “Then there ensued an awkward pause, awk- ward because, for the life of me, I could not think of anything to say; and as for my reverend customer, he seemed in all but a brown-study. At any rate he seemed by no means in a hurry to take his purchase and be gone—appeared, indeed, to wish to linger awhile, scemingly for no earthly purpose, secing that our transaction was at an end, and that he seemed not to care to talk. Presently he again took out his pocket- book, counted over six or seven five-pound notes, and became absorbed in casting up some figures; that done, he began fiddling with some leaves, turning them over and over, and then back again. “ By way of turning my attention to other matters, 1 took up the Zimes; but before scan- ning its pages 1 chanced to look towards my shop-door, and saw a tall heavily-buiit man peering through the glass. He was somewhat curious to look upon, | must confess; for the snow that had been threatening, was fiercely and rapidly descending outside, and this man was covered with the white feathery flakes from head to foot. On seeing my gaze steadily fixed at him, he pushed open the door and entered with a firm tread. He had a kind of eagle-eye, this man—eager, sidelong, piercing; thoughtful brows too; and there was huge determination about the lower part of his face. Shaking the snow from off his coat, stamping his feet upon my shop-carpet (which I thought a rather cool proceeding), and unfastening the lappets of his sealskin traveling-cap, he gave a deep-drawn grunt of relief, and exclaimed in a bluff bois- terous manner: ‘In time after all! My bird’s not flown, by all that’s palpable!—Congratulate thyself, thou man of gold and silver and pre- cious stones; and, furthermore, congratulate me on my aptitude for scenting ‘Slippery Dick!"’ Then, letting fall his voice, he added more seriously: ‘You've had a narrow escape, sir. I've no doubt now, that our reverend friend here has contrived to lessen your stock of goods pretty considerably—has been a pre- tended (mark that!) purchaser to a very tidy tune!’ PUCK. “If you mean sir, whoever you may be, that this gentleman has paid a good deal of money to’ me,” I returned, somewhat indignantly, “you are right in your conjecture, But may I ask, pray, who are you, that you enter my shop in this manner, and insult myself and customer by asking such—well, such impertinent ques- tions?. ... Who are you?” I again asked, feel- ing that I should be compelled to call my showman to turn him neck and crop into the street, “You'll very soon know who I am,” he re- turned coolly. ‘Suffice it at present that I am fully justified in what I ask and do... Bear—kindly bear with mea little. I have a stern duty to perform. ‘This man is not what he pretends to be. He is a blackleg—a cant- ing humbug—a swindler: in a word as danger- ous and troublesome a customer as we have to deal with!" “TI looked at my customer. His face was terrible to look upon; I could scarcely believe my eyes—the passion concentrated in his fea- tures was absolutely demoniac in its intensity; the ebullition of rage which held possession of him shook him from head to foot. “ The boisterous stranger laid his hand heavily on the clergyman’s shoulder, grasped it roughly, and whispered something in his ear, at which his passion left him as quickly and suddenly as a flash of lightning. He became, in fact, as pale as death, and finally culminated in trembling violently, while his face assumed a kind of brick-dust hue. “I did not put this down to guilt; no, I laid it rather to the just indignation that would be naturally felt by a high-souled minister of the Gospel accused of such enormities. “The rough-and-ready intruder regarded the reverend gentleman with unfeigned admira- tion, at least so it appeared to me. He folded his arms across his broad chest and stood re- garding him for a few moments. ‘Then he looked at me and winked knowingly. “Our Christian friend is clever, oho! He is doing the work of a certain Evil personage who shall be nameless, very admirably, aha!” | he ejaculated, reverting again to his boisterous manner. ‘ But we old birds are not to be caught; we are accustomed to this kind of thing. O dear, yes, I—your very obedient servant, Mr. Filby, belong to the fancy iron trade, and I do my utmost to get as much of my stock on other people's hands as I possibly can." Saying which, he unbuttoned and threw open his shaggy overcoat, and laid bare to my gaze the uniform of an inspector of police. ‘Then, as quick as thought, he drew forth and fastened on the clergyman’s wrists a pair of handcuffs! «This isshocking —really horrible,” I couldn’t help saying. “No sentiment, please,” returned the inspec- tor angrily, ‘‘ Leave me to do my work, and take care you do yours.” “But my good friend,” the man of the white neckcloth exclaimed in whining tones, “ you are utterly mistaken, I like—I in fine have nought but admiration for your zeal; but Iam not the man you suppose me to be.... If you will remove these things—they hurt my wrists —I will g “*No; you won't.” “TI mean I will go into the details of our transaction. The notes are good, genuine, sir?” “ Perfectly so,” I responded; “T would stake my life on their soundness.” “Then, sir, permit a public servant to tell you that you will lose your life. Kindly let me look at these sound and genuine Bank of England notes.” “ What could I do but hand them to him? “Ah! as I thought!” he then exclaimed. « Very skilful, very clever; decidedly so! Pity 0" — our pious friend here doesn't contrive to turn his thoughts in another direction; sad that he ns to use his talents more honorably. n such consummate cleverness, he might ha ted almost anything by honest means. ... ‘These, sir, are rascally forgeries; splendidly worked out, I'll admit, but forgeries for all that!” he declared emphatically, laying the notes down on my counter and placing his elbow on them. ‘ Now, I shouldn't wonder, he resumed, “if our reverend specimen of humanity here did not persuade you that he desired to make his daughter—//s daughter a wedding present?” “T said that such was really the fact. “Ah, just so! ‘The old, old game; the old story I wonder, Dick (‘Slippery Dick” is the name by which he is known among us and his companions)—I wonder, Dick, you don’t dus operandi—it’s so stupidly stale, alter your » you know “Dick” looked daggers, looked as though he would have very much liked to annihilate the inspector on the spot, and retorted in lan- guage not atall befitting aclergyman: “You're very clever, ain't you, now? Pah! I could ‘do’ fifty like you. . Jt doesn’t matter much though. You've trapped me nicely. What more d’ye want? Look sharp, and let us ol” “From this kind of talk, I began to think him none other than what the inspector affirmed him to be—especially so when the man in office whipped off the silvern locks from his prisoner’s head and disclosed to my wondering gaze a closely cropped iron-gray head of hair beneath, “I should hope you don’t want further proof?” the inspector interrogated triumph- antly. “ 1 replied that I was satisfied. ‘That I had been singled out for a victim, I now felt cer- tain. In short, my dear boy, I was completely taken aback, and fell into the whole scheme.” “The whole scheme!" I exclaimed; ‘how? I scarcely understand. “Don’t interrupt. You shall hear directly: my melancholy story is fast drawing to a close. Well, I looked from one to the other with “What are you thinking of doing, Mr. In- spector?” I asked. “Why, take this predatory individual—this pike among gudgeons—to the station (they'll have no mercy on him ¢Ats time); and you must accompany us thither.... I'll take care of these bits of paper; as in like manner I'll be the safe custodian of the artfully contrived wedding-present.” Saying which, he deposited the notes, the check, and the diamonds in the breast-pocket of his overcoat. “There was no help for it; of course I must go to the station. So calling my assistant from the back-room, I instructed him to get a cab and look after business during my absence. Of course I did not tell him the errand I was bound on; and as luck would have it, he ap- peared not to notice that anything was wrong. It would, I must confess, have been difficult for Thomas, my then shopman, to have seen the handcuffed wrists of the pious-looking gen- tleman; for, to his credit be it said, the trapped fox had contrived to fasten the bottom buttons of his unusually long-tailed frock-coat, and placing his hands beneath, had thus managed to keep the iron bracelets out of sight. Still, there was a decidedly awkward appearance about him, and the heavily-limbed inspector certainly did not by his attitude and manner at all resemble a man bent on buying my wares or selling me his; however, Thomas seemed oblivious to what was taking place under his very nose, and hied him for a cab. “The .cab brought, the two entered first, while 1 remained behind for a few moments to comicbooks.com