Puck — August 21, 1878 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. OUR PARIS LETTER. Paris, August rst, 1878. Editor of Puck: oe ‘ I have been to the Exhibition, to the Expo- sition Universelle, to that mighty congress of commingled nationalities, to that fancy ball of foreign countries, where I beheld with these mine eyes the medley, motley throng, the Mede, the Parthian, the Elamite, and the stranger within the gates, the Yankee and the Cockney, the Turk and the Greaser, the —— (N. B. to Editor Puck. — Just elaborate this paragraph a little bit for me. Youcan do it really as well as I can, and, with the present exorbitant postal rates between Paris and New York, it does not seem right to pay postage on “copy” which you can turn out nearly as well as I can—besides, I am very tired to-night and sleepy.] I have seen the Exhibition, and I do not mind telling you confidentially that it is a big thing. A Very Big Thing. And the bigness thereof extends also to the prices of everything that you may take a fancy to buy. And, in spite of its Bigness, it is not alto- gether satisfactory. For instance— There was not a single chromo in the picture galleries. Now what is a picture show without a chromo? [N. B, No. 2 to Editor Puck.—Dear Sir—I for- get whether Puck gives a chromo or not. If it does, this is all right—perhaps you can even strengthen it up a bit. If you do not givea chromo, just modify my language to suit your views. If an editor cannot be boss over his own paper, and fix up its correspondence to suit his own views, I just ask you what is the use of being an editor? I do not mind telling you personally that I think a chromo isa good thing. It has its uses. De Witt Talmage gives one away with his paper, and I believe in anything which discou- rages the spread of his Dewittisms.] To resume: The Exhibition is a Big Thing. But much of it is all wrong. Indeed I could not help feeling how much better I could have done the whole thing my- self. I should have made a good thing of it. Ishould also have make a good thing out of it. Perhaps the greatest mistakes have been made in the American department. What do you suppose there is there? Well, there is Tiffany—good. And Marcotte—good. And Sarony—good. [N. B. No. 3 to Editor Puck.—I leave the mercantile side of these letters to you. You charge just what you please. We divvy. If they don’t come down, you tell them that I have sent a scorching letter showing up the whole thing. You see I am no novice in this sort of thing. I may not write for Scribner's Monthly, but I can make a heap more money in other ways— if you, Mr, Editor, only’ look sharp and take advantage of the fact that you have here as re- presentative in Paris a scholar and a gentle- man.) To resume again: [N. B. No. 4 to Editor Pucx.—If you sup- pose that Tiffany or Sarony would come down any better if I put in a Greek quotation now and then—something to please the masses — just copy one or two for me out of the back part of Webster or Worcester. We have just as many advantages as the other papers.] To resume once more: Do you know what our show in Paris con- sists of mostly ? 7 Teeth, | We have there: % Teeth, Corn extractors. Teeth, Whisky. | Trern, } Machinery, including sewing-machines, hu- man and otherwise. TEETH. Pianos. TEETH. {(N. B. No. 5 to Editor Puck.—Send out and borrow some Bigblack poster type for this word TEETH. I want people to see it across the street and mash their jaws.] Now what our show ought to contain I hardly need tell you, Everybody in America knows as well as I do—some of them perhaps better. ‘There ought, of course, to have been more whisky. The Bourbon would have been a deli- cate compliment to the Legitimists, and the Rye would have adequately described the faces the Imperialists are now making. And besides these two works of art, twin extract of still, so gently o’er me stealing that I scarce know their strength, there ought, be- yond all doubt, to be— Copies of Puck. Picture of Edison discovering the noise in Sixth Avenue, More copies of Pu Picture of the machine invented by Edison to discover the noise in Sixth Avenue. Still more copies of Puck. Copies of ‘ Out of the World.” A few Pucks, wholesale and retail. A statuette of the Hon. E. Perkins Mun- chausen, A Puck or two here and there. And perhaps a grand allegorical paregorical representation of a schooner race by A. Bier- (stadt). N. B. No. 6 to Editor Puck.—That is the only way I can make the jest. If I leave off the stadt there is no joke. Andvif I put it in, Yhere is no joke. I leave you to decide] To resume: * But no.——To conclude, I am, Yours truly, E, PERKINS MUNCHAUSEN. . WHO CAN BEAT IT? If there is anything about which the average editor is reasonably certain of being quite “at home," it is writing a ‘‘puff” of a second-rate hotel. We say this without any disparagement of the well-known principles of the fraternity: “Pay as you go,” “A penny saved is $2,75 earned,” “A long night has no ending,” &c. We record it merely as a matter of fact. An exceptional case has occurred recently. An editor, unused to the precedents of the guild, failed actually in writing up the hotel. But he extracted (or involved) himself in this fashion by way of apology. Especial attention is drawn to the phrase ‘We have since learned”: “In our previous issue we had occasion to re- fer to the Hotel, asserting that for its cleanliness, comfort, and general accommoda- tions it could compete with any of our first- class hotels. “We have since learned from the enterprising proprietor, , that at the low price of 20 to 25 cents per night (according to choice of rooms) the lodger is entitled to a bath, a bowl of good coffee, and a roll in the morning. This remarkable feature of econ- omy deserves the attention of the public, if not of our hotel-keepers, who still maintain their extravagant war prices, although it might be well to profit by our hint and take time by the forelock.”” ‘Taking time by the forelock to secure the favor of a 20 cents-hotel is good. . THAT SETTLED HIM. Smiffkins thought he was going to make an impression on the beautiful and musical Miss Tremmalow, and at the same time convey to her a delicate hint of the state of his affections, by his singing of “ My Heart, my the touching line: Heart is Thine;” but he didn’t. He got to “Tis thine, 'tis thine, my heart!’ when she remarked: “T will take your heart in G if, you please, Mr. Smiffkins, Suppose you try it again.” He didn’t. comicbooks.com