Puck — July 24, 1878 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. “PUCK", No. 13 North William Street, New York FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terms To Susscripens. Copy. six One Copy tor thirteen weeks... Postace Free. H. C. BU! ‘Manacinc Enron SPECIAL NOTICES. x will hereafter be on Sale in London, at the News Agency of Messrs. HENRY F. GILLIG & CO.,' 449, Strand, Chanog Puck may be had in Saratoga at BRENTANO’S new store, opposite Congress Park jerto reduced to * Punch"*, “Fun"’ and satural paper on file at the “Herald” Amencans in Paris, h “Judy, will now find Office, 49 Avenue de l'Opéra. Remittances by Money Order, etc., are to be addressed to Kerrier & SCHWARZMANN. CARTOONS. Our cartoon on the first page is a inere sug- gestion; but we offer it in order to save the Officials at Sing-Sing from some not improbable annoyance. Mr. Gilman is a wholesale scamp. He isnoone-horse, single-barreled highwayman. When he had occasion, in the way of business, to rob the widow and the orphan, he did it with a vastitude of reach, a vigor of grip, that had about them something of sublimity. ‘That this aristocrat of peculation should be obliged to bend his lofty soul to associate with a second- class, low-down crowd of Teutonic embezzlers, who, with their old-fashioned and wholly in- adequate methods, only managed to get away with a miserable thirty-thousand dollars in ten years, is something not to be expected by even the most stony-hearted warder of the Hudson River retreat. It is actually suspecte?!, from the contemptibly mean way in which they betrayed their trust, that these directors of the Teutonia Savings Bank had not quite got rid of what used to be called “ Conscience”—that some slight traces of this weakness still lingered in their moral systems. When these poor creatures are duly packed up the river, shall they be held fit society for a thorough-bred Napoleonic scamp? Gentlemen of the Sing-Sing staff, spare the feelings of Mr. Arthur Gilman. History, if she ever has a little time to waste, and is in a despondent and careless frame of mind, will probably sum up the achievements of the Potter Committee. What it has accomplished, and what it has not, may some day be fully understood by the citizens of this great and glorious Republic. At pre- sent it seems to occupy a position in the public estimation which is pretty effectively expressed in our centre-page cartoon. Its principal work hitherto seems to have been the dragging to light of a vast deal of foulness and corrup- tion, selected with beautiful impartiality from the two great parties of the country. Indeed, it seems to us that there is a wide-spread im- pression that Mr. Potter's little picnic was or- ganized solely for the purpose of bringing to the surface that prize product of American po- litical society—Mrs, Jenks. And that ought to be glory enough for Potter. Twenty thousand people are greatly bene- fited by an institution which incommodes fifty thousand, and depreciates millions of dollars’ worth of property. That is the exact position of matters in the case of the Metropolitan Ele- vated Railroad: Of course it is under the ement of an aristocratic, public-spirited, disinterested corporation, that wouldn't for the world make a nuisance of its railroad. Con- trariwise, quite. When the fifty thousand resi- dents along their line complained that they were going mad with the racket, and turning sick with the smell of rancid oil, and when the real-estate owners cried out that their property had depreciate | fifty per cent. from the same abuses, this noblest of corporations generously spent a hundred dollars or so in getting Mr. Edison to talk about stopping the annoyance. What more could be expected of any corpora- tion? Nothing. Besides, in a very short time, there will be none of the fifty thousand left to | complain. For the reason—see our last-page | picture. A NEW CODE OF FLIRTATION. ‘pre systems of fan and handkerchief, and Sf) even of hat flirtation have been fully ex- plained to the public at large; but it is strange that the code most generally in use, and better calculated than any other to ex- press with precision and accuracy a large va- riety of sentiments, has never been completely formulated for the benefit of those who wish to become proficients in this beautiful art. It is with pleasure that Puck comes forward to pre- sent to his readers the following carefully- edited and entirely trustworthy Cop. I. Fulling up the shirtsleeves and slightly moistening the palms of the hands. - Step over herea minute; 1 wish to speak to you. Il. Stepping up behind a man, grasping him by the scruff of the neck, and advancing rapidly. —Please follow me. IIL. Putting forefinger to right eye and draw- ing down lower lid.—Don't you (or do you) wish you had it? IV. Nonchalantly chucking a brick, or other light object, on top of a man's tile—Who's your hatter? V. Tuking a man's nose between your fore and second fingers, and slightly changing the po- sition of same.—1 address myself to you. VI. Abruptly altering the angle of a man's coat-tails by insinuating your boot-toe under them. —Do not linger. VII. Putting the point of your elbow between any two of a man's ribs, and jarring his internal economy.—We are observed. VIII. Doubling up your fist and placing it firmly upon the bridge of a man's nose—I love you, but not devotedly or passionately. IX. Grasping a man's ear between your up- per and lower jaws, and gently working the Jaws.—My heart is another's. X. Lifting another person up in your arms, and walking in any specified direction—Come with me. XI. Rapidly removing the chair on which a man ts about to sit down.—We are not entirely sympathetic in our objects. XI. Taking a brief observation across a hind of impromptu sextant, constructed of all the Singers of one hand outspread, the thumb center- ing on the nose.—Farewell: this parting is for- ever. NOT FOR JOE, The Confederate General, Joseph Johnston, has been named as a candidate for the office of President of the U.S. Without discussing the gentleman’s qualifications, Puck must de- clare that the Confederate General is not exactly the man he would like to C.S. A. so prominent a part in the government of this country. Some people want vacations, some want to get free season-tickets. No one is satisfied. Even the natives of Crete are not happy. They want their country made an autonomous state. Purkerings. Hayes's night-caps are frilled. Ts this July enough to suit you? Tue next police picnic will be held at Lo- cust Grove. Cuicxens don’t take to water naturally; neither do Democrats. Tue duty of a policeman is hard on the brains —of refractory prisoners. Ir a man is kicked over by a cow, can he not be said to get a free milk-punch ? Patent vulcanized intestines will be largely worn during the coming hot-corn season. Wuat riles a country postmistress is to have a postal card come to the office written in French. “Heaven lies about us in our infancy.” And we do our own lying for ourselves when we get older. Pgopte who say they never go back on their best friends, won't so much as notice their ulsters now, No matter how extravagant a young man may be, he always feels mean when he is compelled to put a three-cent stamp on a city letter. ‘Tue faithful shepherd is now taking his sum- mer vacation—three months, at the expense of the flock. Strange, how little cultivation the spiritual vineyard seems to need during the hot season. Ir this last week is a sample of what we are going to have, the average man will have to alternate, for the rest of the summer, between a refrigerator and a Boyton suit with light- ning-rod attachment. Ir you wish to know how much a man can stand, justask himaconundrum when he is walk- ing down the street in a lather of perspiration, with his socks dangling over his insteps, and a breeze suddenly blows a peck of dust up the legs of his trousers. “Tt was ninety-nine in the shade at twelve o'clock to-day,” said the Reverend Anaximan- der to Bluggins; who is a little absent-minded. “Ah! um—yes!"” responded Bluggins pla- cidly: “A.M. or P.M.?” “T atways judge of a person at first sight,” remarked Mrs. Sniffkins, impressively: “I make up my opinion the moment I see a face, and I never change it.” 4 *“* Mama,” inquired the infant Sniffkins, aged three and a quarter, “what did you say when you saw me first?” Tuis is the time when the languorous white lily, waxen-pale upon the smooth bosom of the lake, waits till the enthusiastic lover of nature with the sun-umbrella has gone from the mar- gin of the pond and then privately draws out ared bandanna pocket-handkerchief and swabs off her heated brow, murmuring meanwhile «Oh, blazes!”