Puck — July 24, 1878 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. TO A LIZARD IN AMBER. [In the interesting cabinet of Mrs. S. H Smith, of Jersey City, is a five-legged lizard petrified in amber.) U, bright-eyed swimmer from Silurian seas! ‘Thou little cousin of the megalosaurus— What mocking sylph, beneath the cypress trees, Discarding flies and fleas and bugs and bees, Embalmed thee for us? When thou wert darting through a fiery path, Milhons of years ago, with a sinuous motion, Old Earth lay boiling in a ‘Turkish bath Aad all things wallowed in a sea of wrath— A sulphurous ocean. Dwelt thou with man primeval in his lair On hills Carpathian or desert Ly bran? Or didst thou with the gods Olympus share, ’Mid such huh state living unnoticed there, ‘Thou small amphibian? Wert with young Jason sailing from the sun, Into the North, with Argonauts imperial, When he imported woul to win a throne? And was this the first tanff laid upon ‘The raw material? Say! Didst thou rest on Agamemnon’s grave, When ‘Troy's. renowned unpleasantness was over? Or did glad Neptune fling thee from his cave When sweet Calypso kissed beside the wave Her Spartan lover? How different from the death thou livest here Amid the gay and sombre, wise and witty, With dulcet music melting on the ear, And phonograph: discoursing quaint and queer, In Jersey City! Thy lucent coffin had a splendid nook; Above, with saucer eyes and claws retractile, An owl sits gazing with an anxious look; Around are gems; ben-ath, that limestone spook, , The pterodactyl. Who pinioned thy grotesque and uncouth frame Within the sunsnine of this golden cnamber ? 1, thts the fountain whence the nectar came? Or is it star-born—this undying flaine Which men cali auber? Or is this jewel formed of sweet tears shed By fair Hetiades — Apollo's daughte When their rash brother down the welkin sped, Lashing his father’s sun team, and fell dead In Euxine waters? Splay-footed sprawler from Silurian seas; O, tawny cousin of the megalosaurus— What spuruve sister of Hesperides, In the aubrosia uf celestial trees, Ewmbaimed thee for us! W. A, Croffut, in Graphic. <Wuen a chap throws a basin of water down the back of your neck, water yer culumu?— Yonkers Gazette, ‘Ie Chicago Zimes of Saturday had a touch- ing report of an execution in Gcurgia, headed “The Acrial Waltz.” Mr. Crarkson N. Potter will apply to the court fur a writ of replevin, in order to get back the committee that Ben. Butler has stulen from him.— Chicago Jribune, Ir is now time for picnics, clam-bakes, excur- sions, sailing partics, carriage-drives, and being caretul about sitting down on the impulsive huney-bee.— Bridgeport Standard, THE CREAM OF THE BUCKET. BOSTON UP TO THE TIMES. Buttermilk your nose!--Bostm Fust, THE FAT CONTRIBUTOR'S PUN. Doesn't the baker encourage idleness when he inakes a penny loaf?— Cin, Sut. Night. SCRIPTURE WITH MODERN IMPROVEMENTS. Tt is written that a man with a borrowed umbrella cannot enter the kingdom of heaven. —WN. O. Ficayune. MORE SCRIPTURE. A soft answer turneth away wrath, and so you should never kick a bulldog back of the car.— Mew York Herald, SLANDEROUS. The young ladies at Vassar are not allowed to have pe-s within the college, other than the regular professors.— Danbury News. A CONSIDERATION, Tt is right that the St. Louis papers should steal. Surely their readers are entitled to some- thing.— Buffalo Express. 100 MUCH. ‘There is a wonderiul power in imagination, but it gets weak in the knees when it under- takes to shoulder circus lemonade.— Cincinnati Breakfast Table. BLUSHING UNSEEN. ‘The 1600 young women of Cleveland who are pledged ‘not to associate with young men of convival habits, are getting very lonesome. —St. Louis Journal. PROBABLY. ‘The sea serpent has made its appearance at the sea-shore resorts, and the place that sells the meanest whiskey will see the monster the oftenest.— Pile, Kronitle- Herald. THE WAY TO LOOK AT IT. During the past winter a New Hampshire woman has cut and piled twenty-three cords. of woud, Well, that is doing pretty fair. ery man shoul encourage his wife tv beat it, though,— Danie/sonville Sentinel, AMENITIES OF WESTERN JOURNALISM, Harry Wright has grown as fat as a corn-fed hen. Frowa appearances, our obituary of him will not becume of use again much before 1926. We hope to worry some of the grease out of him this week, however.—Cin, Eng. PECULIAR. Every once in a while we hear of a Califor- nia woman killing a bear. ‘This is all right. But we challeage the world to ransack the pages of history and show us where a woman ever got away with a mouse. — Oi City Derrick. EFFECT OF THE HEAT WAVE ON BURDETTE, ‘There are two brothers on West Hill who look so much alike they cannot tell each other apart, and one day last week, when Juhn was raging like a volcano with the toothache, Henry went down to Dr, Wilson and had six teetir pulled.—Burlington Hawkeye, THAT'S IT, Mark Twain has written home for his clergy- man to visit him in Germany, at his (Mark's) expense. It is strongly suspected that ‘Twain is wrestling with a new humoruus effort, and desires his minister to pray for him -to ask divine forgiveness for the awful thing he is about to do, ‘Ihis surmise may be wrung, however. ‘I'he popular humorist may simply want a traveling companion who knows how to play a good game of euchre or “‘uld sledge.” —Norr, Herald. REDUCE THE ARMY! The United States Army is pretty busy just now. One of them goes out to fight twelve thousand Indians every morning while the other stays home and gets breakfast. It’s wearing though—on the army, ‘The Indians don’t appear to mind it much.—Bridgepert Standard. THEY Won'T. We respect Bryant's memory and his poetic talent; but it does seem to be crowding the mourners a little when the new poet of the Graphic invites such a convulsion of nature as this over his decease: “ Mourn, O ye mountains and lament, ye woods! Ye mighty winds, walk muffled o er the deep! ‘Tread softly, ye great rivers! O sun! keep ‘Thy state hung round with black, while surrow broods Over the face of earth! Let ocean's floods Heave in huge sighs, and the vast heavens weep!” We really hope they won't. - Phila. Bulletin. TRIOLET TO THE PEACH. Prince-son of the sun, Best-born uf the summer, Your wine delights one, Prince-son of the sun; But your furze, when upon A man’s neck is yum-yummer — Prince-son of the sun, Best-born of the summer, HYPOTHETICAL, HE. If I were to tell you I love you, And then for your hesrt were to pray— If 1 were to tell you I love you, Now what do you think you would say? sue, If I should say No for my answer, Ina friendly but resolute way — If I should say Nu for your answer, Now what do you think you would say? Me. I never have told you 1 love you, And, after ¢hose words, never could! sue. Tve never said No for your answer, And how do you know that | should? — Quipple Yarrow in Courier-Journal, CLAM, : Far beneath waves which storm winds heaven- war hurl, Bowered amid gems upon the golden sand, By sprays of emerald sea-weed softly fanned, You watch fantastic eddies before you whirl, You're happy as your form you sleepwise curl, ‘And fall in visions pleasureful, pale ane grand, On moonlit, musicful eves when all is bland, Deep in your hauls of polished irisful pearl. How your chaste soul must glow with amorous fire, When some fair merman, faint with dreams of bliss, Pours funil songs at your portal, love-elate, To the charmed tune of his deftly-fingered 1 re. He litle thinks, delicious clam, | wis You'll e’er recline on a Fulton Market plate. R. KX, Munkitirick, in Evening Mail, Since the only daily paper in a neighboring town has stopped, the barber shops and the sewing circles have more than double the amount of patrouage and attendance. ‘he people are bound tu have the news.— Norrts- town Herald, A LiTTLe daughter of a Connecticut clergy- man was left one day to “tend door,” and obeying a summons of the bell, she found a entleman on the steps who wished to see her father. ‘Father isn’t in,” said she, ** but if it is anything about your soul I can attend to you. I know the whole plan of salvation,”— Water- bury American, comicbooks.com