Puck — July 17, 1878 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. “PUCK”, No. 13 North William Street, New York FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terms To SUBSCRIBERS. One Ce one year. or 52 numbers. ‘One Copy. ax months. or 26 aur be Copy tr thse wed 1, BUNNER. SPECIAL NOTICES. Puen will hereafer be on Sale ip London, at the News Agency of Mewrs, HENRY FL CILLIG & CO aay, Strand, Charing Grove Peck may be had in Saratoga at BRENTANO’S new store, ‘opposite Congress Park gay Remittances by Money Order, etc., are to be addressed to KerrLer & SCHWARZMANN. CARTOONS. Montreal has a mayor who is decidedly a enius in his own peculiar line. The situation into which he has got himself and the city he represents and presumably governs, is aptly illustrated on our first page. This may>: ~ughtn’t to be left to blush unseen in the provincial solitudes of Montreal. He has many of the elements of an American statesman in him. He ought to be imported and natural- ized. Something might be done with him, In the days of Tammany’s supremacy he would have been a treasure. Judging from the job he has made of the Montreal business, itis safe to say that with the wider opportunities afforded by our metropolitan political system, that man, ‘on the occasion of a religious holiday, or a mili- tary conscription, could deliver the city over to a howling mob at least twenty-four hours sooner than any pusillanimous municipal ruler we have ever known. He has the real art of making law an instrument of lawlessness— the true Tam- many Hall idea. Tue people of the United States who recall General Grant as a brave soldier and success- ful general, know him at his best. But the hungry horde of pothouse politicians who are iring to make use of his military name to recover for them their places under the govern- ment, are advancing him in anything but an enviable light. Between these two a distinc- tion must be made. Grant as a soldier is wor- thy of all praise, but as a politician he was a failure; and the fact is made but further appa- rent by the renewed association of his name with the Presidential nomination in 1880. Not only is there need that a distinction be made, but unless it is, there is danger that his military fame will suffer. Beiween the hero of Appom- attox and the patron of Belknap, Babcock, Robeson and Williams is a difference which every American must feel, and feeling, he must resent any effort to tarnish his good military record by dragging it through the by-ways of politics. Sce, o'er the foam-tipped waves where erst her feet, White Aphrodite’s, flashed like flowers of fire, Bearing the baneful gift of mad desire To all the world—see now, advancing fleet, Across the Mediterranean’s glassy sheet, A new Astarte, The old gods expire; And mournfully the poet strikes his lyre To a Venus most respectable, chaste and neat; But likely in avoirdupois alone to beat The elder. Venus Anadyomene No 2, O mistress of the potent £ Blest more with native thrift than amorous heat, We hail thee—and thy Beaconsfield, whom see In multiplicity variegate all around. THE JAPANESE MINISTRY. ; S VERYTHING is subject to change, even ~¢, the Japanese ministry is not exempt. CES According to the Tokio Zimes, a paper which is as respectable as a paper can be that does not make a specialty of humorous para- graphs, there has been a sort of diplomatic eruption, which has resulted in the bouncing of several members of the cabinet, and the in- stallation of others. ‘The man who formerly held the position of Sangi—whatever that may be—was irretrievably ostracized for endeavoring to introduce a coin about half the size of our three-cent silver-piece. It seems his Imperial’Nibs had often been swin- dled out of his right change at ferry-houses by accepting small coins, so he hastily elevated Mr. Kawamura to the position of Sang’ Mr. K. was greatly refreshed and rejoiced, as well he might be, for it is not every day that a Japanese diplomatist has the position of Sangi thrust upon him. We wouldn't object to being a Sangi ourselves, ‘I'here is something awfully important and expressive about it, especially when you haven’t the remotest idea of its meaning. Mr. Kawamura is from the province of Sat- suma, ‘This should be carefully considered. If he came from a different part, it might be a totally different matter. He distinguished him- self in the rebellion of Kin Sin, and in 1870 got up a combination hammock and frying- pan, for which he was awarded a medal. Mr. K, has our heartiest congratulations. Wuen lovely woman stoops—what folly! — And feels too late her skirts give way, She yanks that pull-back SPs does Molly, And disappears from light of day. Wuat right has Bob Ingersoll to close all the flood-gates of relief to the man who tries in vain to get both shoes and stockings on without touching the sandy floor of the bath-house ? Wuen the history of America comes to be written in full, the author will introduce it with this comment: “I think this subject worthy of appearing as an appendix to the recollections of Thurlow Weed, and with his permission will present it to the world.” A Revisep version of an old saying says: “If a man’s religion is pretentious on Sunday and obscure on week-days, you had better do business with him on a cash basis.” ‘True. And if a man’s religion is pretentious on week-days and not on Saturday, you had better do no business with him at all. Awn_exchange asks: ‘ Where do all the pins go to?” We know where one of them went to the other day when we attended a school exhi- bition. If that inquiring mind will call around our way we will point out the identical spot. Our feelings upon this question are too deep- seated for public utterance. Humipity is doubtless a good thing in its way, but it may well be doubted if it justifies such praise as this from a Covington Co-opera- tive “The copious showers of rain since Monday have given a fresh impetus to Nature. The mountains, hills, and valleys, and, indeed, the meadows and roadways, are smiling under the cooling dranght.” If a draught of this kind (it lasted two days) can make valleys and meadows smile, they must be very easily amused. The idea of Nature receiving an “impetus” from a shower in Covington, Kentucky, is good. Puckerings. AITCHOTEA! ‘THE sausage is now called in. You never saw a Mormon tramp. Tue gardeners ditty—Beet root to me. ‘Tuere’s discord in “ dot Sherman band.” ‘Tue: tramp is fearfully and wanderfully made’ Give a dog a bad name and he'll deserve it, Now the green apple encores the verdant youth, Can not the dollars of our novelists be called storied earns? “Love me little, love me long,” as the Living Skeleton said to the Fat Woman. Is throwing down the gauntlet the natural prelude to handling a man without gloves? ALTHOUGH beer has that reputation, we al- ways considered whiskey the Democratic drink. Tue most signal triumph of a boy’s life is not realized until he succeeds in stealing into a base-ball ground. Wuat makes a man wild in these days is to pay five dollars for a medical consultation in which he is ordered to wear an all-wool under- shirt. WHEN some at the seaside feel so happy that they don’t know what to do, it is fair to infer that they have not just drawn on their drawers over well-sanded feet. “Twenty o’cLock, b-b-by thunder!” ex- claimed Snipkins, late last Saturday evening, and he jumped up and glared at the registering dial in an Eighth Avenue car, THE man who can contemplate the gallows with utter joy, won't so much as smile when the vital button flies off and his unmentionables work down around his knees. ‘Tue railroad signs read: “ Look out for the locomotive,” and the admonition is obeyed literally. The inhabitants along the route do little else than look out for it. It is now that the conventional average young man begins to lay all sorts of sinister pipes, in order to work a couple of weeks’ board out of his country aunt. Some philosophers claim that nothing is im- possible, We should be pleased to see some of that crowd attempt this month to sell skates and make politicians temperate. THE scoompany:n5 rythmic utterance, while eminently admirable in design, is defective in the execution of the fourth line. It adorns an up-town grocery: Come, one and all, Give us a call, For we are all Glad To see you call.