Puck — July 17, 1878 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. 13 THE POWER OF LOVE. But love, first learned in a lady's eyes, Lives not alone immured in the brain; But, with the motion of all elements, Courses as swift as thought in every power, And gives to every power a greater power— A sort of double geared block and tackle ar- rangement, That will, among other things, keep a man Chained to the sofa in her father’s parlor, ‘Till half-past one o'clock next day. Love adds a precious seeing to the eye, Which enables base, deceiving man to pay ‘Two dollars and a half for a paste diamond Set in a brass ring, and palm it off On his best girl for one of Tiffany's costliest stones. And the dear, confiding creature, extending Her taper finger to receive the gift, Exclaims, ‘‘O George!" and falling into his arms Soils his white vest with tears of joy! A lover's ear will hear the lowest sound, And there are few cases on record Where the old man succeeded in stealing From his bedroom to the parlor door Without surprising at least one of the young people. Love's tongue proves dainty Bacchus gross in taste; And for valor, is not love a Hercules, Packing enough confectionery in his coat-tail pockets To sink a ship of a hundred tons burthen? Subtle as Sphinx, as sweet and musical As bright Apollo’s lute strung with hair Plucked from the bright and golden butter Which cometh from the Western Reserve. Never durst poet touch a pen to write Until his ink were tempered with love's sighs; O then his lines would ravish savage ears — But what does an Indian know about poetry? —Derrick. Barpers always predict short crops.—/%- cayune, Catt for the North Pole-ice and arrest this heat! — Philadelphia Butletin, Boucicautt is going to write a new play this summer, if he can find one.— Hawkeye, Acain is the placid bosom of the St. Croix covered with a lumber corset.—Sti//water Lum- berman. Wuy does perspiration take the starch out of your shirt? Because it’s sweat.—F/ilade/phia Bullelin, Tuey cahnt pull, you know; no kind of fawm, ye know. Oh! no; not at all, ye know. — MY. Com, Adv. Bryant sang to Death before he was 19 years old. Pity some other poets hadn’t.— Cin, Sat. Night. Ir we have ever said anything harsh con- cerning cool weather, we hereby apologize for it.— Arontkle- Herald. A THiEF who does not break open a house and knock somebody down is called.a sneak thie. O. Ftcayune, Dosopy bud Budd Doble badifests edough codfidedce id Bollie BcCarthy to bake ad offer of bodey for her dow.— Graphic. ‘Tne able-bodied scissor's man of the Cleve- land Leader calls him “George Washington Townsend.” — Rochester Express. THe watermelon wave has evidently struck Elmira, The Gasefle came to us to-day with empty insides.— Rochester Express. Tuere is a popular superstition that crops will take care of themselves. Politics must be carefully nursed.— WV. O. Picayune. Tue Rev. Murray has been bitten by a wild cat in Maine, but the cat was old and tough, and will probably get over it.—Free Fress: Tuere is this comfort in the great art of giving up smoking: One knows that when he begins again he needn't necessarily get sick.— Buff, Exp. Some persons are always speaking words of encouragement. ‘The Springfield Repudtican says ‘it is a mark of genius to perspire freely.” —Phila. Bulletin. Let’s hear from the man who hoes ten acres of corn per day.—Detroit Free Press. We ‘usually draw hose over ten achers of corns per day.— Graphic. Wantep.—To exchange by Pencil Points, for a low-waisted suit of fig leaves, a first-class Canadian ulster, nearly as good as new.— Rochester Express. Ir has been ascertained that standing out in the back-yard and singing “From Greenland’s Icy Mountains” doesn’t cool the atmosphere in the least.—Kronikle-Herald, Ir was very hot in New York on Saturday — 96° in the shade, Fifty of this was due to the weather, and 46° to Gail Hamilton's scolding letter in the Z7ibune.— Norr. Herald, Cuicaco revenue officers are beginning to complain of their inability to tell by the aroma whether a house contains an illicit still or a sleeping alderman,— Brooklyn Argus. Never get under a tree during a thunder storm. If Ajax had been afraid of getting his clothes wet, he never would have successfully defied the lightning.— Avonikle-Herald. “Buy your baby a carriage,” reads a display advertisement in a local journal, and some miserable fiend sent a marked copy of the ar- ticle to Gail Hamilton, —Krontkle- Herald, Aw exchange prints a ‘Remedy for Hard Times.” It is simply to go to work and save your money. It is a marvel that this was not thought of several years ago.— Morr. Herald. AMonG the most promising indications of an advancing civilization, the Washington ost notes with pleasure that the words man and wowan are again coming into use.--Phila, Bulletin. Don'r trundle your baby boy in a carriage with his face toward you.—Com. Adv. Thank But we never do. In fact, you! So kind! Baby boys, we mean, we don't use ’em at all. — Phila. Bulletin, A Democratic editor says the platform adopted by the lowa Republicans “falls flat.” And from the howl he set up about it, one might think he was under it when it fell.— Norristown Herald. Dr. Mary WALKER not only gave a prescrip- tion to a sick baby, but put her hand in her breeches-pocket and paid for it.— Bost. Globe. What is the market-price of a sick baby this summer ?— Phila, Bulletin, “Wuicn,” asks the Detroit Free Press, “is the forger’s party?”’ It must be the working- man’s party, provided the blacksmiths are mem- bers of it. Blacksmiths are always forging, and blowing about it.—orr. Herald. Tue cages of Detroit are protesting against Sunday funerals; but yet, not one of them have raised their voices against the wicked habit indulged in by some people of dying on that day.—Kronitle-Herald. Tuere’s something inexpressibly sad in one's standing all alone by himself in the world as night shuts down and the oriole flies to its nest, but man will do it where he has only enough money to pay for beer for one.—Free Press. Some very reprehensible puns contain, never- theless, food for suggestion, as when a thought- ful student of the politics of the day remarked that the Putter and Bottler investigation had been obstructed by an injenktion.—Boston Com, Adv. Tue easiest way to dispose of the Mississippi story about a man freezing to death on a hot summer day is to believe it. Put it down with the fish and snake stories and let it be pub- lished again next year when hot weather comes on.—Ficayune, Tuar gigantic philosopher, George Alfred Townsend, publicly announces that he shall not oppose Grant’s re-election. He says, ‘He must be fought not with lies, distortions, or canards, but with reasons.” ‘That rules “Gath” square out.— Prila. Bulletin. Japan is making gigantic educational strides. It has now twenty-four thousand elementary schools, and over two million pupils. ‘This is convincing proof that the backbone of the Democratic party is badly broken in that country.—Norrisiown Herald. WE trust we shall not be accused of preju- dice, too strong personal friendship, or lack of perfect taste, in asserting that this country— or the present century, for that matter—has never produced another such a poet as ‘Bul- wer II,” of the Wayland Advertiser.— Rochester Express. A poem read at the Wyoming Centennial urged the vast crowd to ‘Strike the lyre in warning strain!” ‘Strike the lyre in martial strain!” “ Strike the lyre in mournful strain!” “Strike the lyre in joyful strain!" “Strike the lyre in culcet strain!” And yet he wasn’t struck, Anderson wasn’t there.—Norr. Herald In 1821 the postmaster of Lismore, Ireland, then in his g7th year, traveled for a wager from that town to Fermoy ‘in an oyster tub drawn by a pig, a badger, two cats, a goose, and a hedgehog.” Polo was not yet invented, or he would probably have adopted a more | ridiculous method of making a fool of himself. —WNorr. Herald. Two boys in Newark, N. J., saw a man drowning in the Passaic river. ‘They stripped off their clothes, went to his rescue and saved his life. On reaching shore an officious police- man arrested them for nude bathing. It is hoped that policeman may fall into the river some day, with no help near save those two boys.— Norristown Herald. ‘A WEDDING was unavoidably postponed a few days ago out in Riverton, luwa, because the bridegroom, on his way to “the residence of the bride’s parents,” in his happy, heedless mood, thoughtlessly and ignorantly set his foot upon a cat. One of those kind of cats that make their homes in the sandbanks, and when trod upon, turn and outrank the offense of Hamlet’s uncle, which ‘smelled to heaven.” ‘The wretched bridegroom walked away out in- to the loneliest place he could find to change his clothes, but even that precaution did not prevent the associated press trom telegraphing all over the country “the destruction by fire of a Limburger cheese factory in Montgomery county.” In the midst of life we are in Cash- mere bouquet. Kind of.— Chicago Jnter- Ocean, comicbooks.com