Puck — June 19, 1878 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SELF-IMMOLATED. MR. JAMES GORDON BENNETT SURRENDER- ING HIMSELF TO JUSTICE, me the details of the arrangements made to receive the “Great Criminal” on his arrival here early in July. Nothing need here be said as to his act of sacrificing himself on the altar of his Country's Justice. Conscience, doubtless, drove him to it. Playing English gentleman and trotting around all day after a fox could not stifle the reproaches of that inward monitor; nor could flinging his long, lithe and limber limbs in the mazy waltzes of the Jardin Mabille erase the memory of those footsteps in the snow, which marked the story of his crime. Suffice it to say, he has cabled anxious America that he is coming home to surrender himself up to Justice, and we are to receive him. The following is, as at present arranged, the programme: On the arrival of the steamer off Sandy Hook she will be boarded by a detachment of bold detectives from the police-boat Seneca, who will proceed at once to load Mr. Bennett down with chains, handcuffs, straight waistcoats, and leg fetters. Also a ball and chain. He will then be put into an iron cage and be brought to the city. ee Intellectual Department has furnished ORDER OF CEREMONIES. Detachment of Newsboys, not in uniform. A Man (trying to get across the street to a Free Lunch Shop). Brass Band, playing a Dirge. Superintendent Walling (mounted on a fiery, untamed steed, borrowed from the Bleecker Street car-stables). Cuxorus oF Ipiots. Scots wha’ hae for Bennett bled, Bummers wham his Soup-house fed, See him, now, with fright half dead— All in chains and misery. ‘The Intellectual Department of the New York | tremely healthy appetite, cannot be unplea- Herald, clothed in quintuple sheets, and weeping. The P. I. Man (more in sorrow than in humor). Police. Police, Mr. Bennett in a Cage. biiiiiiii iti tid Battery Q, 333d N. Y. Heavy Artillery, with guns loaded to the muzzle—or more. District Attorney Phelps, carrying a safe in which there are no pigeon- holes for indictments. Assistant District Attorney Rollins (with one eye in a fine frenzy rolling). The Hangman, Some more Newsboys —un-uniformed. White flags in the rear. If he arrives on Sunday, all the stores on Broadway will be closed. Citizens are requested to look as gloomy as possible. If any person finds it necessary to “smile,” he will retire to some ‘‘shades” and smile in a glass, darkly. The jury will be a ‘struck jury,” drawn from the ‘ Jockey,” ‘“ Polo,” ‘‘N. Y. Yacht,” “Manhattan,” and other clubs, and great in- terest is felt in their probable verdict. If they find him guilty of arson in the 33d degree, Ancient Scottish rite, he may be only fined, and mulcted in 40 mustangs for the poloists, or a cup for the next yacht cruise, But this is doubtful. The deed of blood that was done at Marydel cries aloud for “vengeance.” Mr. Frederick May, a young man with a very ex- | | santly slaughtered by a ruffian, without America demanding justice, and justice we wil have, even if it costs us 47 cents for rope. As St. Lawrence Jerome Parke well said to m Double dash-dash it, me boy, if they’d only had sense enough to go out in the snow and pretend to fight a duel, everything would have been all right. But a bloody, sanguinary double-d dashed affair like this must be investi- gated and punished!” Mr. Bennett will probably be hanged. ‘TRIPLET. ANOTHER. E alluded, some time since, to the sad case of a tan who committed suicide A prematurely, after waiting several ears in vain for the completion of the Brook- lyn bridge. His sarcastic message to Humanity was then recorded, and we innocently imagined that his death and burial was the last we should hear of him. But, so far from having this ef- fect, he has sprung into a new—a sort of post- mortem \ife, as it were, He has taken root in Connecticut, and has proceeded, in the case of a person of that State, to die again. Here is the message which he left: “When the devil has time to kill flies with his tail, then will I believe in the love and truth of a woman,” ‘This shows him to be a man of most sar- castic thought and feeling. He gives, it will be noticed, an ungallant mention to the fair sex, which must be the result of personal experience to be appreciated. If the suicide is truthful as well as sarcastic, he virtually blocks himself off from any belief in feminality. It should be stated, however, that, as this was his last statement, and as only a few minutes elapsed before his death, the ladies would not have a superabundance of time to enjoy his confidence and society. If all women-haters and sarcasti- cally-minded men would commit suicide as this one has done, some.gain would be accom- plished. We should take pleasure in alluding to their demise. comicbooks.com