Puck — June 5, 1878 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. “PUCK", "No. 13 North William Street, New York ‘ FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Jerus Jo Sunscrii ‘Ove Copy ove year, or 52 numbers, One Copy, six months, oF 26 numbers. ‘One Copy for thirteen weeks. Postace Free. H.C. BUNNER.... -Manacinc Eprror. Bay Remitances by Money Order, e., are to addressed to Kerrier & SCHWARZMANN. 0, THE BALLAD OF HILTON THE LEGATEE, Marcu. eae) : r Ol all ye women who work for your y eo‘ bread! Hither, come hither unto me! You shall be cared for, housed and fed.” Thus cried Hilton the Legatee: “For my master hath died and left to me A lordly, but scarcely lucrative dome, ‘On which they will tax me heavily — It shall be the Working-Woman’s Home!” APRIL, “Ho! women whose eyes with sewing are red! Ye may not bring to this hostelry Either machine, or needle, or thread.” Thus cried Hilton the Legatee: “Ye who have dollars, I cry to ye— Ye who have not may go to— Rome. ‘Though your week's pasa more than a week's pay be: This is the Working-Woman's Home!” June. “Ho! all mortals, Dick, Harry, and Fred! Come to my inn for the sake of G.! Of women have I but fifty head!” Thus cried Hilton the Legatee: “ Jew, or Gentile, or Heathen Chinee! I wiil give you a bar where the beer shall foam; In Charity’s name, oh, list my plea! Come to the Working-Woman’s Home!” Envoy. ‘Princes, and ye who to spend are free!" In a voice as sweet as the honey-comb, Thus cried Hilton the Legatee: “This is the ,,awogy s,uemoyy-Bary0 A, Park Avenue Hotel!"’ AFRICA. ‘Tue Democrats of Pennsylvania have placed in nomination for one of the chief officers in the State government aman bearing the odd name of J. Simpson Africa. Mr. Africa is stated to be unexceptionable personally, but his name is clearly against him. In the first place, the tendencies of the Democracy run rather counter to Africa in any form. In the second, ‘‘J. Simpson” is associated, in the popular mind with a pledge—a different kind of one, too, from what they expect Africa to make. Finally, the name suggests possibilities of the paragraphers of the State (they are many) making fearful puns about.“ carrying the war into Africa,” and other enormities. It is scarcely to be supposed that the managers can do any extensive.rallying to such a name as Africa; or that the popular heart will respond, ‘Liberty, Equality, Fraternity and Africa.” However, there is one thing to be said in his favor. He differs (even if in name only) from other Pennsylvania politicians. No higher compliment could be’paid by his most enthusi- astic supporter. JUNE: 4 if Puckerings. WY; UNE is here, gay and festive June, robed i ati 5 5 in- flowers, ‘andcrich with the songs. of Se eR Shem protector variations has its Firs birds; mad the weirdly dulcet warwhoops veccciies of the strawberry-vender float noiselessly over Junce Hittow will probabl n out better the earth, as a tomcat along the top of a fence. | as an inn-keeper than we Philanthropist It is June is the month of roses, love, string- | more in his line. beans, and other things too numerous to men- * tion, June is the month when the ice-cream fiend sends out his circulars, and the Directory and the dog-law make their annual appearance. It is the time wnen the bosoms of Lotharios and undertakers are filled with hope. It,is the time when the eight-dollar flannel-suit makes its ap- pearance and. the ulster languishes serenely in the chock, while the oyster is supplanted by spring-lamb. It is on these delicious evenings when the moon throws its silvery glory through the clouds, and the breezes just stir the nodding violets, that Daphnis, as he presses his lips against Chloe's, and sees naught but happiness ahead, wishes he had his overcoat on. In June the newspapers are full of all sorts of alluring advertisements of hotels, country- board, sea-side resorts, horse-races and almost everything else which one can readily think of. It it also the month when the linen duster makes its annual début. We could say a great deal more on this subject, but we wish to leave room for something else, and save suffi- cient material for another editorial for next year. AxouT this time expect large areas of ice- cream, with severe young-woman pressure; veering to’sherry-cobblers. Swinpurne has remarked that “that there is no building now the walls are built.” This is true. But you can turn it into a hotel. Situation Wantep. —The Chaplain of the Park Avenue Hotel, late Working Women’s Home, is out of employment. His case appeals to the sympathies of the public. Sunpay-scHoot picnic sandwiches are very dainty and soul-inspiring in their way, but, at the same time, they are not corpulent enough to solidify theinselves with the public. ‘Tue six-foot-two young man who went out in Sunday's rain in his new white flannel suit is now advertising for a three-foot-and-a-half circus dwarf who wants to buy second-hand clothing. = = zs “5 Ir there is anything in this world that makes A KEYSTONE CONTEST. | aman somad that he can't distinguish his mo- — ther from Sitting Bull, it is to read a daily pa- 'HE State of Pennsylvania is known in pol- Be half through, and suddenly discover it to itics as the “Keystone State.” It is | be a week old. pivotal, and on its decision the drift of _— political sentiment in national questions may | James RusseLt LoweLt, the poet, wants to be said to depend. It is known, also, (though | know “What isso rare as a day in June?” If not only in politics, however, but otherwise as | this present month is a specimen of the kind well) as the commonwealth wherein the demoral- | that Mr. Lowell is gone on, we think he might ization of the public service and the debauch- | match it easily out of the last week in November. ery of the elective franchise have attained their —- extremest limit. The contest now in progress | Suicipes are said to be comparatively infre- is literally between two organizations, No vital | quent owing the month of June. The reason principle is involved; no actual issue taken; | of this is readily to be found in the extra-large no public interest is at stake. In everything | average of amateur /uéie‘s and Faulines who save the names of thecandidates and the stereo- | come to the front at this season. typed recital of their “principles” the two par- = ties are agreed. The influences which domi-| | Wxy is it that the Fourth of July always an- nated the two conventions are the same, the | ticipates itself by a full month? The first fire- manipulators identical. The voters are called | cracker of the year was heard on Monday; and upon to decide between two candidates of ‘‘ma- | now there is one small boy who will start out chine” creation. It is scarcely what, by the | on the anniversary of the nation's independence utmost stretch of imagination and fancy, could | one finger ahead of his comrades. be called ‘“‘a choice.” - =— It is the continued recurrence of this sort of | Now rose-fragrance floats round the gables, farce that has withdrawn a great massof honest | And Cloanthe has packed up her sables, voters from further participation in political af- And for business steady fairs.. The respective candidates are free from ‘The drug-fiend gets ready serious objections, and in another place than His cholera-mixture and labels. the one to which they aspire would, no doubt, be satisfactory. But with Wallace on one side | THe meadow is fragrant and gay, and the Cameron clan on the other, the voter | All covered with newly-mown hay, has not much chance. Dill and Hoyt are the And down in the lea names of the candidates. Wallace and Came- The over-joyed bee ron are really the ones before the people. The | Seems to murmur: “ Hey, what do you say ?” election will take place as usual, and either of the ‘‘machine” candidates will be chosen. The Now the rose glows in Angeline’s locks, commonwealth will be “ run" as formerly, and And the swallows wing round us in flocks, the taxpayer will note no change. And the bad little boys The existence of a wrong in no wise lessens Make a terrible noise the obligation of protesting against it. Hence,| Going head over heels off the docks. though there is little prospect of Pennsylvania << freeing itself from the shackles of the corrupt | Tuus is the month of the flannel suit, litical cabals which control it, it is neverthe- Tender, delicious, honeyful June, less as well to direct attention to the anomaly, When the lover plays on his ‘‘amorous lute,” lest, by tacit acquiescence, countenance may And the nightingale 's seldom out of tune. seem. to be given to a combined fraud and.| ht! this is the month of delicate ferns; farce. | Oh! this is the month of soft blue skies,»/*? So When the average young man’s fancy turns Tue early swimmer catches the cramp. i To colored stockings-and Oxford-ties. ‘COMICcDOO