Puck — May 8, 1878 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. © No. 13 North William Street, New York. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terms To Susscrivers. ‘One Copy one year, or 52 numbers ‘One Copy, six months, or 26 num One Copy for thirteen weeks. ‘BI~ Remittances by Money Order etc. are to be addressed to Kerrier & A DEAD LION. RG ZOHN MORRISSEY is dead. Let those , who wish tokick him. Puck has nosym- © pathy with the jackass business, in any of its forms. And yet no cheap sentimentality should pre- vent the truth being spoken of the man who is gone. He was a prize-fighter, a gambler, a man without education or refinement, risen from the very bottom of the social heap. Still, this is only one side of his character. It may honestly be said of him that he was a man who was not ashamed to have an ideal of righteousness, and to try to live up to it. It was not a very lofty ideal: his highest conce; tion of human duty was to be ‘a square man but such as his doctrine was, he practised ii When he was a bruiser, he struck above the belt; when he was a gambler, he ran a fair game, and he carried the same principles into his political life. ‘There are many who make a fairer showing on a smaller capital of probity. This man was worth more, morally, than the whole horde of “Christian Statesmen,” little and big; he had more honesty and honor in one finger than animates the entire anatomy of the Repudiation party, from Bland down to Sammi- cox. In fact, John Morrissey stands out among our politicians a somewhat prominent figure a man who was neither coward, fool nor knave. However, whether the balance lies on the right or the wrong side, Morrissey’s account is losed. But the political principle he repre- sented survives him—the principle that puts bruisers and blacklegs in the senate-hall and on the bench; the principle that gives us to-day a Congress of thieves and an old woman for a President. And if such a principle is still an active factor in our politics, the fault lies, not with the Mor- risseys, O'Briens and Kellys who passively benefit by it; but with the people who deplore and permit it—with the respectable, honest, educated classes who are too lazy, too indifferent, too fearful to step down into the political slough of despond, drain the foul cesspool dry, and leave arable soil for future generations, Personally, John Morrissey, by his courage, his industry, his uprightness according to his own lights, shamed the clean-handed aristocrats who hated and abused him while they submitted to his rule, THE CHESS FIEND. HE game of Chess is in itself a harmless Sf and protracted pastime. The exact date nail its carps 2 not sora bat oe 0) sup] to have originated at the 5 a of Tey. The amallants of the place, finding the time hanging heavy on their hands, began playing chess, and thus whiled away their stay. The reader will observe that there is & mys- tie significance in this proceeding. In the first place, the Greeks showed bape eer ood in selectis gy! orb h there was no end. “ho this circumstance is to be attri- buted the fact that the siege lasted ten years. It showed, besides, a vast amount of patience, and, finally, an éyident disposition to transfer their sanguinary combat from the field to the chess-board. The man who invented the game probably did so with good intentions. His aim was, doubtless, to benefit Humanity, and he took a harmless method in its pursuit. Whatever. his intentions, he is expiating his error now. For a comprehensible Equity holds him personally responsible for all the wrongs committed by reason of it. ‘The game of Chess is a very simple affair. ‘There is a board of sixty-four squares, ‘here are twenty-four pieces, having sindry methods of movement. All of these are plain enough, except that of the knight, which is abnormally erratic, It is presumable that at first the knight moved rationally, but that some chess fiend, eager to “simplify” the game, devised the present movement. If so, there can be no other consolation than the consciousness that he has met his just fate. ‘I'wo men meet to play a game of chess, After sundry delays and many grave forebod- ings they begin the contest, and soon clear the board of pawns (as the mere supernumary pieces are called). A fierce contest rages with the remaining pieces. False moves are taken and not noticed. ‘Ihe king is ‘checkmated ” without avail, and both parties, in blissful igno- rance of the game, become ititensely interested. As a matter of course, the number of pieces slowly decreases, till at last one of them cries “Check,” and, in violation of every precedent, exclaims, “I take your king.” ‘The absurdity and utter frivolity of this remark lies in the fact that when the “king” is put in a position from which he cannot move, the game is per- force closed in favor of the checkmating party. The sequel to this is strange. ‘The two players who have devoted four hours to this game, go abroad and proclain that they have been enjoying themselves. ‘Ihis state- ment usually provokes a ripple of unconcealed distrust. But the fiends believe it, and all is well. Once in awhile the fiend goes in quest of other fiends, and they resolve themselves into a club, © object of this is to enable them to pay dues and to give the games an official turn, Much stress is laid on the brain power requisite in the game, when, as a matter of fact | (unless in the case of experts), very little is needed. We know that we shall be accused of hostility to the venerable ‘I'rojan_ pastime. Flippant Scoffers will say that opposition like this arises from having lost a game. ‘This is a superficial view of the matter, and should not prevail. It is to be hoped that the chess fiend will lose courage, and withdraw to the ease and solace of the retired state. Other- wise Society will rise in its might and consign him for a time to that position, but by methods apt and speedy when they are sought to be overcome, Puckerings. SprinG has got sot hot. Europe is sitaatiog again. ‘Tue dairies have struck chalk. ‘Terty has joined the Russian gang. Serrinc nens—Female compositors. ‘Tue backbone of Summer is sprouting. A person who evidently felt down in the mouth—Jonah. Ir reports are true, Bayard Taylor is seeking the bubble reputation in the schooner’s mouth, Tue watermelon is not yet; but the pungent radish occasionally scoops in a small and dys peptic victin. Asparacus is the best vehicle known for the introduction of large quantities of real estate into the human mouth. FRoMAGE bE Brit has been described as a cheese that would be Limburger if it had suf- ficient strength of mind. Tuus is the blessed season when the good little Sunday-School boy forgives his enemies and fades away and dies. In days when Lager doth prevail What droops before some May’s blithesome gale? It is ye chanticleer his tail. Ir appearances are to be trusted, the average male sparrow has, at present, but slight inten- tions of remaining a bachelor. Ir is painful to have rheumatism so severely as to be unable to raise your arms; because a man can’t drink like a horse. ‘Te first flying-machine of the year starts in Philadelphia this month. Let there be no un- necessary display. A soap-box will hold the inventor. Austix Dousos, the English poet, complains “Too hard it is to sing, in these untuneful times.” A friend suggests that Mr. Dobson might whistle. Ir is well enough to denounce tramps, and say tiey won't accept positions. Just offer one of them the presidency of a bank once. That would be a square test. ‘Tu. first straw hat of the season occupies the position of a pioneer of progress. -Like the pioneer of progress, also, it is played out before it gets to be in fashion. sof Spring—ay, wheré are they ?"—Keads Well, by this time they are around in Ann Street, at the old paper man’s. “Witrke are the AN exchange mentions tie fact that the Sweet Singer of Michigan was born at Hunter's Point. If this is true the famous poetess was surely born in a scentimental place. ‘Tue new monochrome underclothing is very neat and artistic; but the only man who can wear it to any real advantage is a Fiji Islander given to warm and elaborate dressing. Some papers delight in scandal and calumny; and now that the Beecher business is about dead they are getting up a prediction that Conkling will be the Democratic candidate for the Presi- dency in '80. "Tis sweet now to sit by a runnel And look down the lily's white funnel. Yet 'tis sweeter to sit As the gay moments flit At a table down in a beer tunnel, Iw the breezes the violet rocks, RY. And the night-opals gleam on the x, ”And the editor cries, i As joy beams in his eyes: “This way with a couple of Bocks!” comicbooks.com