Puck — May 1, 1878 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE CANNIBAL LOVER. A SWINBURNIAN LyRIc, Ly THE MAIDEN APPEARETH. CAUGHT but a glimpse of her face, i ‘As, wooed by the breezes of dawn, A picture of beauty and grace, She stood on the emerald lawn. Tho! I caught but a glimpse of her face, The vision remains with me still, And always, most probably, will, Tho! I caught but a glimpse of her face. Il. THE LOVER EMBRACETH HER, ‘Then passion my soul overcame, Volcanic with love I arose, I seized her with ardor aflame And bit off the end of her nose. My passion my soul overcame, In spite of her blushes and fears L ardently chewed off her ears. For my passion my soul overcame. Il. HE DECOMETH ENTHUSIASTIC. Like lava my blood boiled within— She uttered a tremulous shriek— I seized with my teeth her soft skin— And fed on her far damask cheek, Like lava my blood boiled within; Unheeding her tears and her sighs, I eagerly swallowed her eyes, For like lava my blood boiled within. IV. ME PROCKEDETH TO EXTREMITIES, My heart wildly throbbed with delight— ‘The rapture that thrills and exalts— Her chin I removed at one bite, And pulled off her hair—which was false— My heart wildly throbbed with delight; I laughed at her foolish alarms, And broke off her legs and her arms, As my heart wildly throbbed with delight, Vv. ‘ME MAIDEN DISAPPEARETH, My cannibal instincts arose, Her aspect my fury incites, With joy that no Grahamite knows, Like the Ghoul in Arabian Nights, My cannibal instincts arose; I panted with fiercest delights, And gobbled her up in great bites, As my cannibal instincts arose, VI- BUT HER MEMORY REMASSETI(, To memory often recurring, Comes back the deep bliss of that hour, Within me I feel something stirring. Which soothes me with marvelous power; To memory often recurring Returneth that maiden so cherished, ‘That dear one untimely who perished, To my memory often recurring. ESSENTIAL OIL OF CONGRESS. THE RIVER AND HARBOR APPROPRIATIONS. Mr. Yeates asked whether Messrs. Cox and Butler were present. ‘The House was about to proceed to the consideration of the River and Harbor Appropriation. As the fun was now to commence it was only fair to ascertain whether the humorists were present. Mr. Muller replied that they were. Mr. Reagan thereupon moved to suspend the rules, and that the House take up and pass the River and Harbor Appropriation bill. Mr. Cox raised the point of order that the clause in the Constitution which authorized Congress to regulate commerce, did not em- power it to pass such a bill as this; besides, it appropriated $7,000,000, and should be first considered in the Committee of the Whole. ‘The Speaker said a majority of the House had a right to determine the matter. Mr. Cox insisted upon being heard. Mr. Kenna, who seemed to be laboring under the impression that he was Speaker of the House, called Mr. Cox to order Mr. Cox demanded the reading of the bill in full. ‘The Speaker said that was a question for cach member to determine for himself. Mr. Reagan and Mr. Kenna objected to debate. Mr. Cox persisted in being heard. The House resounded with calls to order. After protests, amid loud cries of ‘ Order,” against the passage of the bill by Messrs. Mitchell and Cox, the question was put, and the bill was passed by a vote of 167 yeas to 66 nays. ‘After the result had been announced, Mr. Cox rose and said that he had a protest signed by a large number of members, protesting against the passage of the bill, and he desired to have it read. Mr. Gause said that protests were untimely. Mr. Cox was probably as well aware as any one that the function of this bill was to enable mem- bers to get special appropriations, Mr. Benedict said that $7,000,000 having been appropriated, it behooved Congress to add a few items to the bill. Mr. Morrison hoped that the additions would not exceed $14,000,000. ‘This was agreed to. A representative from Pennsylvania moved that the $9 given to a disabled soldier tending door in the Capitol be reduced to $8.25 per month. He was in favor of retrenchment. Carried. ‘The same representative also moved that 136,000 acres of public land in Colorado be given gratis to a railroad company there, and that the incidental expenses of the transfer be paid from the money appropriated to the wash- women in the Senate, thereby reducing their pay 30 cents a week. Agreed to. The Speaker then announced that additions to the River and Harbor Bill were in order. ‘The announcement was well received. Mr. Paddock moved an appropriation of $3,000 for the improvement of the Mississippi River twelve miles above its source. Mr. Patterson asked for $3,500 for the con- struction of a harbor on the prairies. The want of one was keenly felt by his constituents, Mr. Bright asked for $2,750 for a break- water at the base of the Cumberland Moun- tains. Mr. Wilson, of West Virginia, said that his State, being inland, did not get harbor appro- priations. He moved that $10,000 be set aside to meet the possibilities of development in this particular, West Virginia was an enterprising commonwealth, and if the government, acted fairly towards it, rivers and harbors would soon spring into life and motion. Mr. Reagan said that the inland part of ‘Texas was badly off for harbors; but this being an era of retrenchment, he was prepared to compromise on $1,700, to provide against emergencies. Mr. Turney said that the government was discriminating against Pennsylvania. He mov- ed the ‘appropriation of $6,700 to benefit a river in his district. Mr. Joyce said that one of the streams in the commonwealth of Vermont had dried up since last session, and that he moved an appro- priation of $760 to start it anew. Mr. Cain, of South Carolina, asked for $17,000 to improve Beaufort Harbor by a new breakwater. * Mr. Bragg, of Wisconsin, objected. He did not know much about harbors, but this Beau- fort one was a fraud. The member froin the 2d District of South Carolina had annually, for eight years, asked for a new breakwater, and ic had invariably been given. He wished to know whether this remarkable harbor had eight sides, also whether it was to be closed from the sea entirely. Mr. Cain said he did not know. Unless this appropriation was agreed to, he would not be re-elected. He favored it, therefore, as a mea- sure of public policy. Mr, Schleicher thought that $100, devoted to dredging the Mimosiania Creek, in North Caro lina, would augment the commerce of the country. : Mr. Cabell mentioned a few eligible streams in his district, all of which got appropriations, Mr. Rice asked $9,000 for an Ohio stream, but it was voted down on the ground that all the able-bodied men from that State were now holding office in Washington under President Hayes, and that none of them had heard of this stream, Mr. Rice withdrew his motion, and substi- tuted a request for an appropriation of $18,000 to free the Miami River from gnats, A Michigan delegate, whose name was not recorded in the minutes, asked whether there was any limit to the game as played, and whe- ther the bank would hold out. The Speaker construed this into an inquiry about the Chaplain, and ruled it out of order. Mr. Mitchell said he hoped that the roll of States might be called, and cach Congressman given a chance to have his own little claim. Mr. Cox said that George Washington's hatchet story— “Mr. Butler said, * Shoo fly, Sammy.” ‘The House laughed, and the Speaker, re- membering the precedent established by former Speakers when Mr. Batler had made this joke, adjourned the House. “WueN Music, heavenly maid, was young,” somebody ought to have strangled her. Wuar a delightful and inviting field for the extermination of the small-boy the’ elevated railroad pillars afford. comicbooks.com