Puck — April 17, 1878 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Why dnt ewels ichel. m for most tains , but f you ne is -box. ircus tents ) PUCK. would. Now don't force me to do the emo- tional business, but speak out at once. Ortorr. I'd rather not. JULIAN. Orloff—darn it— if you don’t speak out I'll orloff and—(menacing gesture.) Joun Luster, who has'all this time been lingenng in the background in various graceful and becoming attitudes, intercedes and interrupts hostilities. This little piece of business is kept up at intervals of three minutes till the end of the act. It is useful as teaching the virtue of re- straint, and as giving Lester an excuse for being on the stage. Getorr explains more fully his reasons for believing that Dora is a spy, and not of that strict moral recti- tude which ought to characterize the wife of Julian Mon- tagne. Orvorr. I told you I'd rather not, but you didn’t care whether | rathered not or not, and so I spoke, though even now I'd rather I hadn’t, [£xit] Jutian. Oh, my Dora! my wife! Jolian goes to his dispatch-box. Perceives the ravages ol the late circus. Discovers that his tracing is missing, and gasps: Jutian. Oh—oh! What sort of a crowd have I got into, anyway—! Oh, John Lester, all is over. Joun Lester. Never say all is over. ‘That's cheap and stagey. All is never over. Just hold on until we've investigated this matter thoroughly. In the meanwhile, be a man! [Julian braces up and tries to be a man [The voice of Dora Feo within calls “Julian?” Juuian, Oh—oh—oh— Of all hard things of mortal plan, The hardest thing is to be a man! Julian collapses. John Lester sustains and soothes him, Overflow of masculine grief. (Curtain.] ACT III. (Henry Beauclere’s Apartments.) « But bither shall I never come again.’ [Nore.—The intelligent reader—and to no other is this condensed drama directed—will allow his imagina- tion to supply whatever links there may be necessary to connect one act with the other. We regret that limited space prevents our chroniclirg every episode, but the knowledge that, even though we did, the intelligent * reader aforesaid might still be left in the dark about a great many things, palliates our shortcomings.} [Discover Juuian and Joun Lester.] Jutian. I can’t find Baron Shtein. If we could only land on him before he leaves Paris, and see the letter he received from Dora, it would settle everything. [£nter Baron SuTe1y.] Baron. I vas told you vas looking for me. Juuian. I’m glad you've come. To the point at once. You have hitherto been having private political correspondence with Madame la Marquise. That’s the Diplomacy racket which I shan’t undertake to elucidate. However, there's a check fora million dollars, or ducats, or francs, or shekels, as yon choose to call them. Take it; it’s yours. I don't quite know why I give it to you, or what entitles you to it. It would take too long to explain it to the audience. But now that you have this money, I wish all your correspondence with Dora’s mother to cease. When I say cease, I mean I want it to have having had ceased already. Baron (pocketing the check). It shall cease at oncedly. Juttan. You have now in your possession a letter from her. Give it to me. Baron (looking over his unopened letters). Vy, by Jimmimy, so I have. { don’t have knowed it myzelf. Juttan. _ Give it to me. Baron. What, give my letter to you ? Juan. Yes. You have my check, Didn't I tell you I wanted all correspondence to hav- ing had ceased? (Baron hesitates, is completely bulldored by Monty, and then yields.) Baron. Dere. Now you got de letter. Aber lisden once vere I got de dead woot on you. You don’t can oben de letter. It was addressed to me. ‘Tooben anoder man's letter is a shtades-prison offense; aber to brove do you dot dere’s nudding shnide aboud me, I will open him for you. (Opens the letter, and generously hands it over to Monty) And now, my dear friend, good-bye. Shake hands. (AMon- ty refuses.) Ab, V'm sorry. (Zurning to John Lester) But you will blease be so kind as to shake me de hand? No? Well, dot’s puty mean. I'm sure, John Lester, you've got little enough to do in ‘dis act, you could afford to shook hands wid a feller. Vel, dam it, I shake my own hand. [£xit Jutian. O John Lester, this letter is in Dora’s hand. Iam lost. What can she have written? (Coguettes with letter.) Joun Lester. Don’t stand there toying with the gum-flap. Read the darned thing. Juuian. My dear Lester, you are certainly the most practical man I ever met. (Looks at detter.) Oh, there can be no mistake. It’s Dora's hand. Those bow-legged D's! They are hers. (Sobs over the bow-legged D's. / The tracing drops out), Great heavens! the missing tracing! (Sobs over missing tracing.) ‘There can be no doubt of her iniquity! (Sods over no doubt, John Lester picks up tracing and sniffs it.) JULIAN (reading letter.) “Dear Baron: Didn't invite you cause husband kicked. Don’t be of- fended. Send this instead. Dora’ (sods). Joun Lester. Instead of sobbing like Old Probabilities in the upper lake regions, suppose you pull up and say what you're going to do about it. JuLian. We must—boo-hoo—get rid—boo- hoo—of the old woman first! Joun Lester (with fiendish gusto). Egad we must! (Applause of audience, lasting three minutes.) Juuian (én ears). Is Dora guilty, or isn't she? She must be. And yet she can’t! Heaven! can such things be, and overcome us like a dose of laudanum, without our special wonder? (400-h00.) Joun Lester. Don’t believe her guilty un- til you have found out that she is not innocent. Jutian. John Lester, what would I do with out you? You have been the fond brother of my childhood, and the balance-wheel through my entire second act. But you cannot know what it is to suffer as I am suffering now. (Sods violently, and lifts the bassfiddle off its hinges.) John Lester, I will see her and speak to her. Joun Lester. You had better let me speak to her for you. (Audience immediately votes confidence in John Lester, but in vain; he goes and leaves Julian.) Enter Dora.] Dora (to Julian). Monty, you look dis- tressed. Dry your tears, and tell me what ails OU. a JuLtan (aside). How can I tell her? Look at those eyes, those ears, those teeth—she couldn't have done such a thing, (Aloud, hys- terically) Dora, my darling Dora, you didn’t do it, did you? Dora. Didn’t do what, Julian? They all do it. Explain yourself, love. Juttax. Yes—all’the world may; but you could never do such a thing. Dora. How do you know? Do what? JuLian (aside, in agony). Ah, she doesn’t dare deny it! Oh misery, oh despair! Oh infinite cataclysm of woe! Have I married such a woman? Dora (tying to keep calm). Julian, in just about two minutes more I'll get angry, if you don’t stop sobbing and tell me what.you're talking about. (JULIAN sobs out the bitter truth about the stolen tracing and all that.) Dora . (in towering eloquence of scorn). And you dare te suspect me! Juuian. I don’t know what I dare. Say that you are innocent. Dora. I refuse to say anything so self- evident. Monster, farewell! Jutian. Oh, Dora—I don’t know what to do; I only know that I love you, utterly beyond the hitherto existing possibilities of affection! (Clasps her belt-buckle in frensy) 1 don’t ask you to say that you are innocent, but do say that you are not guilty. Dora (breaking /oose). Away—away—out of my sight! ‘Io suspect me, me//! Approach one step nearer and I shall plunge myself with a double-acting, self-revolving back-fall out of the middle of that bay-window! (lies to bay- window.) Jutian. Ah—then you are guilty!. Don’t tumble, Dora! Oh, then all is over between us. Come away from that window. ‘The happiness of my life is shattered. Farewell! = * Dora. Don’t go, Monty! Don’t go! Don’t go! ; JuLian (going). Ab, it’s your turn now to do the emotional, is it? But you shan’t get the best of me! You have refused to declare your innocence—I gave you all the time that the play allows! Farewell—for ever! (sobs himself G.) Dora. Gone! (runs to the door that is closed in her face, and does a sidefall.) [curtain.] ACT IV. (Beauclere’s office.) “« What do you call the play?" «/ call it the Mousetrap, you can call it the Smelling Match ; If you prefer.'—Many Poets Condensed. [Enter Juuan and Joun Lester] Juuian (in excitement.) 1 shall away. 1 shall as away as possible. 1 leave for Vienna at once and even more so. I’d rather bea furk and bay the Muscovites than such a rum spouse. Joun Lester. Pause, ponder and reflect. I have had nothing to do for three acts; do you suppose this fourth act isn’t worth something? Just seclude yourself in the next room, and leave me the stage, if don’t make things come oyt all right eventually I am unworthy of the name of Proprietor, Manager and Leading Juvenile. - (Exit Montague in confidence.) (Enter Avoie Froyp.) Joun Lester (#0 Algic). Ah, Algié, glad to see you. By the way, that reminds me you have appeared on and off during this entire play, and it never occurred to me till now that you've got nothing in the world to do with the eg except, perhaps, to make an ass of your- self. Aor. Too true; but you must admit I fill the bill gloriously. (Audience applaud.) Joun Lester. Well, I won't be hard on ‘ou. I'll give you a chance to speak one good ine, any way—now mind your cue. Tell me, old man, I’ve crowded you out. of your apart- ment with my, brother’s newly-arrived family; —where did you manage to sleep last night? ALGIE (who has waited anxiously for kts cue). Oh, I have friends in Paris. 1 know where to sleep. (Knowingly.) (Loud exclamations of delight and appreciation Srom audience.) Joun Lester. Very good. Now run along, little boy. You have spoken your line very nicely. Withdraw into the next room, and wait until I give you another show. (x## AL- GIE contentedly.) [Znter Zicxa.] Zicxa. How'd do, Lester? I have taken the liberty to have ‘a parcel sent for me, to this of- fice, in your care. Has it arrived? ~~) (Concluded on page 10.) comicbooks.com