Puck — March 13, 1878 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

14 In reply to several threatening m¢ es sent in to thes office, we desire to explain that the man who takes thrashings for articles in this pa- per is out of town ona furlough.—Rome Senti- nel. “ Wuen a girl gets mad and rises from a fel- low’s knee,” says an exchange, “‘ but thinks bet- ter of it and goes back again, that’s what they call a relapse.”—Faragrapher who has been there. Deat gently with the erring; play light with the “open winter” prophet. Just hold him against the business side of a buzz-saw and make no further fuss about, it.—Cafskill Re- Corder, ‘Tue editor of the Detroit Free /ress solemn- ly swore on Thursday that-on the 22d of Feb- ruary, 1878, he saw a blue-bird. Why swear to a little thing like that? Is not his word good for a mere. blue-bird ?— Buffalo Express. ‘Tue lost wax tooth referred to in last week's Sentinel has been found, brought to this office, restored to its owner, and identified, and thus another house of mourning is flooded with joy. ‘There is nothing like advertising.— Rome Se tinel, ‘Tue tallest man in the country is John Far- well, of Houston, Texas, who measures seven feet, six inches, in his bare feet. He must be the identical ‘ Farwell, a long Farwell” men- tioned by our old friend Shake.—S¢. Louis Journal. A POLicemMAN of Washington says that he has not seen a drunken man on the streets of that city for more than a year.—Herald P. /. Man. Why do the Washington authorities em- ploy a blind man on the police force ?—Nor- ristown Herald, A cat in the organ-loft interrupted a sermon by Rev. Dr. Bevan in a Brooklyn church re- cently. And the difference between her and Dr. Bevan was that while it was fur to the end of her tail, it brought the end of his tale much nearer.— Phila, Bulletin, A poeress weighing 160 pounds yearns “ to twitter as a bird on some lone spray.” When she gets on a spray and begins to twitter, there is going to be an item for the local paper, un- less the spray is as thick as an underground gas-pipe.— Norristown Herald. Locat conundrum proposed by an Essex county minister to his children in vacation, and when he was not well: “If there had been no cats in the world, and if people had called bumble-bees cats, would there have been any cats ?”—uragrapher who's got'em bad. A Montreat merchant advertises for a man to feed and take care of twenty black bears. If he will add to his cage of pets an assortment of wild cats, a few Royal Bengal tigers, a pair of hyenas and a half-starved catamount, we would be pleased to secure the place fur Pri- vate Dalzell. - Derrick. Tuey have begun to post circus-bills on the grave-stones out in the wilds of the West. Should the custom become general, and reach out its arms to embrace the civilized world, it will find men, if death has not changed their disposition, mean enough to get up and de- mand a complimentary ticket for the privilege. —Fulton Times. Mr. Ezexiet Kecorp, Buckfield, Me., cele- brated his ninety-second birthday recently, and boasts that he has not failed in a single instance to vote the straight Democratic ticket. ‘There's a healthy old Record for you; but there is no doubt in our mind that if he had voted the Republican ticket in his declining years‘he would be twice as healthy now.—Nor- ristown Herald. PUCK. Wuite playing at Lewistown, Mainc, Geo. Rignold ordered the curtain down in the mid- dle of a scene, and offered five dollars’ re- ward for the capture of a gallery gamin with a shrill whistle. The boy could not be identified, and the: play proceeded. Mr. Rignold paid too much for that’ boy’s whistle. Unknown Paragrapher. A WasuiNGTON correspondent expresses the opinion that Private Secretary Rogers is an abler_ynan than President Hayes. But, as Rogers is intimately acquainted with the Presi- dent, there is no danger that he will be puffed up with pride on reading the comparison.— Worcester Press. Persons having important business to trans- act at the New Orleans collector's office are compelled to wait until the acting collector is brought down from jail. If they are in a hurry, they can, perhaps, secure permission to present their papers to him through the hole in the wall where his mush-and-molasses are served.— Worcester Press. Mr. G. Wasu. Cuitps sends to the Free Press the following touching lines on Nip, the New Yorker who died recently: Dear friends who now are passing by, Relow there is a champanzii. As Tam now so you must be— Lam a defunct champanzee. Accorptnc to the World, “to bounce" is to raise the arm of indignation and the foot of indignity against any person, and therewith violently to expel him from a place wherein he would have remained into a place where Ke did not want to be. The bounce is, primarily, an act of physical overgetfulicss accompanied by a root idea that the person bounced will come up with a thump and a hollow sound which may indicate the complete termination of the bounce and the substrativity of its ob- ject. AccorpING to the best scientific authority, the small boy becomes a boy at the age of 16. At that age he ought to put away small-boyish things, and to put on the bashful awkwardness of semi-intelligent boyhood. At all events, he ought to know that his presence is not desired by young men who come to sce his sister. We do not expect this amount of intelligence in the small boy, and it is often necessary to bribe him with candy or to persuade him with clubs before he will consent to treat his sister with | common humanity; but the 16-year-old boy usually perceives when an area of courting, | accompanied with gradually increasing pres- sure in the region of the waist and marked de- pression of the pater gas, is about to set in, and thereupon discreetly, even if sneeringly, withdraws.— WV. Y. Zimes. AMD YET BEING SOLD AS Se WORTMLESS IMITATIONS 1; [EL ISCHMANN & COS. _PUCK’S Pictorial Department SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. Havine completed all necessary arrangements, and in compliance with numerous requests, the publishers and proprietors of Puck take pleasure in announcing that they have opened a GENERAL DESIGNING OFFICE, where the services of the best artists in America, including those of the dis- tinguished cartoonist, Mr. JOSEPH KEPPLER, are employed in furnishing all kinds of Illustrations, in the most perfect style, on short notice, and at reason- able rates, The Theatrical Profession will find it to their especial advantage, in arranging for LITHOGRAPHIC PORTRAITS, to apply at this office, where Mr. Josern Keppxer is in personal charge of the department. Address, Puck Publishing Company, 13 N. WILLIAM ST., NEW YORK. aes comicbooks.com