Puck — March 13, 1878 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK’'S COMEDY-STORIES. Ill. A TEACHER TAUGHT. COMEDY IN ONE ACT, Adapted from the Freach of M. Pact Fernie, by H.C. Buxex [concnvorn.} ‘THe Proressor. (A/one.) Kate! I—confound it—I am dreaming—No! Yes! What's the lucky devil’s name—don't go! His name! By Jove, I must have fallen asleep, And dreamed. It strikes me I have dreamed a heap. No, I’m awake. My wits have ta’en an airing. Asleep, or crazy? Neither! I am staring Stark wide-awake. Fates adverse and propi- tious! What hear 1? ‘Things impossibly delicious. Yet real—unpermissible and real. ‘That is important. I am her ideal. Is it any other fellow if not me? No! ‘can’t mistake it—anyone could see She loves me. I am sure of it—I know it. ‘That's what she meant. Didn’t her features show it? And 1? My heart I thought dead all the while Is beating in a rather lively style. My blood's on fire! I feel just like a—star. Kate! I'm in love, dear—more so than youare. But no. The devil! This will never do. I'm but a father to her. "Tisn’t true — Poor little thing, so innocent and good . For love she takes a child's fond gratitude. ’Tis madness—sweet to me, but madness still. And I must cure it, cost me what it will. [Enter Kate, with the luncheon} Kare. ‘The luncheon, sir. ‘THE Proressor (Aushily). My daughter! Kate (aside). Daughter! Gracious! | His way of guessing things is—is vexatious. ‘THE PRoressor. Come here, my child. TE. I come. ‘THE PRoFEssor. I've understood— Kare (aside). Upon my word, I rather thought he would. ‘THE PROFESSOR. I know your hero. Kate (aside). ‘This is perspicacity Indeed! ‘THe PROFESsoR. Although it took some slight audacity ‘Yo recognize the flattering portrait. Yet, My Kate, think calmly if your heart is set Upon a love that may be, at the most, A warmer gratitude: I can but boast Poor paltry claims, that your too kindly eyes Exaggerate, $0 this too generous prize. You are young, and louder than cool reason’s voice Impulse may speak, and guide a childish choice. When the young heart is filled with love's soft light All things it looks on catch the radiance bright. You scarcely realize, I’m sore afraid, ‘The shade you take for love—and sucha shade! But he you think you love knows all too well Your error: knows his duty is to tell What sacrifice, unconscious though it be, This dream entails. A cruel guardian he Who thus would sacrifice his child. O Katel Your debt of gratitude, with usurer’s rate PUCK. Of interest, you paid me long ago. If debt there be, 'tis what to you I owe. Pride of my home, joy of my heart—Oh, say— | Is it a debt that I shall ever pay? | Kate. ‘Then, my professor, none may give you love Whose eloquence a heart of stone would move, Whose burning words would render, I believe, A Romeo jealous; you can not conceive | A woman’s heart must yield itself to one Who sings of love as—well, as you have done? ‘THE PROFESSOR. But, Kate! Kate. You're better pleased the account to cast So that the balance to my side is passed. To search arithmetic and logic through To prove by a plus 4 I don’t love you. ‘Tur Proressor. | I ery you mercy! | Kate. ‘To your will I bow. You were my guardian ever, and are now. You're wisdom's self; my sixteen years are H wrong: Guide then my bark, since your own hand’s so strong. Before your great experience I incline. ‘To prove how I mistrust this will of mine— | Write to de Brown, then, that at your com- | mand I accept his—love—his fortune and his hand. ‘THE Proressor. Do you accept ? Kare. His hand, his fortune— | ‘Tue Proressor. | You're | Not jesting? Aeyour husband! Are you sure ? Kate. Why not? He’s young, destined to cut a dash, Handsome —and such a dear little moustache! ‘THE PROFESSOR. You are laughing. | Kate. No. He is a good parti; A well-assorted couple we shall be. He's of good family, and it’s only fair ‘To mention also he’s a millionaire. Tue PRroressor. I know you better than to think you speak Your mind in this. Your judgment ’s not so weak As that, my Kate. Your heart is not so cold; | You're not a girl to love a sack of gold. Say what you may, I don’t believe you care For Brown, were he ten times a millionaire. You can not like him, and, to tell the truth, I don't, myself, greatly admire the youth. | A boy, as boys go, good enough, agreed— But not the one to marry you. Kate. Indeed ? ‘THe PROFEssoR. A shallow dandy—a mere mutton-head; | Who puts on mighty airs; snobbish, half-bred, Ignorant, careless, loose, unscientific; Of good works barren and of debts prolific. Laziest of men, unwilling or unable | To read a book: at home in club or stable; But nowhere else—a man who will, of course, Divide his love between you and—his horse. Kate (aside). | 1 thought so. i ‘THE PRoressor. He's unworthy such a treasure. * | Look elsewhere for a husband. Kate. At your pleasure. Just as you say. But I supposed you knew 1 was but doing as you told me to. Ir THE PRoressor, Well—but—I thought— Kate. You see, one may mistake At any age. But what choice shall I make? Young Buckingham de Brown is, we will say, A type of all the young men of the day. If this be so; and if we won’t have him, ‘The chances of the rest grow rather slim. In very truth, as far as I can see, I'll never get a husband— THe Proressor. Kate, take ME! Kate. You? ‘THE PRoressor. Yes, my love, you wanted to, just now. Kate. Oh, but since then, you know, you've shown me how I erred in such a choice. I'll follow your advice. ‘THE PRoressor. For want of better! Kate. Well, it might do, if you were not so old. ‘THE PRroressor. And to the letter So old? Kate. Yes, thirty-five. THe Proressor. I never told Anyone that! My birthday is next week. I'm thirty-four at present. Kate. So to speak That's middle-aged. Tue Proressor. . + Thaven’t one gray hair— In my whole head. Kate. Well, they'll soon be there. ‘THE PRoFEssor. No; I'll be bald first. Kate. But you never go Into society. ‘THE PRroFEssor. But I will, you know. Your dress adds to your years full eight or nine, Tue PRoFEssor. Buckingham de Brown's own tailor shall be mine. Kate. Algebra 'll be my rival, I foresee. THE PRroressor. Only to prove my love by a plus 4. Karte. You'll not be ready when the lunch bell rings. ‘THE Proressor. ’Twill be your task to teach me all those things. Kate. But then, my guardian, is it your advice That I should make this awful sacrifice ? ‘THE PRoFEssor. You saucy jade! Kate. And only as a daughter Can a girl love the patriarch who's taught her To say “papa!” Tue Proressor. No—that I did not—never! O Kate!—you're laughing. O you saucy, clever Malicious—angel! Yes, you love me—Jovel Mars! Gods eleyen, I have won her love! Her love! Yes, 1 was idiotic, blind, Not to have guessed it. Kitty, never mind! We'll make up for lost time now—wait and see— Llove you, dear, as much as you love me. [curtain.] comicbooks.com