Puck — February 20, 1878 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

14 PUCK. Tue Quaker religion has changed, likeevery- thing else. When a ruffian now spits on a Quaker’s hat, the old broadbrim is allowed to knock said ruffian into a three-cornered ruin. — Free Press. A mummy recently discovered in an Egyp- tian tomb fell into two pieces when lifted out. For a dead-broke man he was the completest specimen ever reported.—Mew York Commer- etal Advertiser. A FASHION item says that white Turkish tow- eling is used for morning-wrappers. It would be a good thing if the same material was oftener made closely-fitting, with soap-and-water trint- mings.— Zurner’s Falls Reporter. Tue editor of the Selinsgrove Zimes wants cheaper whiskey. Let him sign the temperance pledge for three days and give the distillers a chance to get a little ahead, and his desires may be gratified.— Bellefonte Watchman, Give us some more reform. J. A. Howells, brother of W. D. Howells, editor of the Aé/an- ic, is the freshest appointee to an Ohio post- office. W. D. Howells wrote the only author- ized campaign life of Hayes.— Utica Republi- can, . Puck’s almnac, as an almanac, is the cu:sed- est almanac that any almanac-maker ever foist- ed on an almanac-suffering people. ‘There is one thing that palliates the almanac, and that is that it is only published once a year.—Cress- water Green Leaf. A Man who has just returned to Burlington from Washington, was fortunate enough, while there, to hear a burst of the ‘derisive laughter” to which the American Congress is given. It sounded like a copper-plated man sliding down a shingle-roof.— Burlington Hawkeye. Tue man who remarks, ‘ When I lived in New Orleans in the good old times before the war,” ahd the other man who says, “ When I was in 'Frisco in 49,” ought to be tied together over a clothes-line, and left there to talk it out between them.—Mew York Commercial Adver- ser. CLoTHEs-PINS are now shipped to New Zea- land. The natives use them for earrings, but an old chief who got hold of one with a haif- horse-power spring in its back, and hooked it on his nose, was looking around ten minutes afterward for a missionary to kill.— Unknown Paragrapher. #£very emotion of the human heart has been wreathed in poesy, except, perhaps, the feeling of joyous complacency that comes to a man when he finds he has dodged the conductor in a crowded street-car, and got the start of a soulless monopoly to the extent of a nickel.— Breakfast Table. Ir some heroic man would sacrifice himself for the good of his kind, by lying behind the front door and braining the leader of the first surprise-party that attempted toenter his house, he would be entitled to a magnificent monu- ment and the praises of generations yet unborn. — Yonkers Gazette. A young man at a church fair, when urged by one of the ‘‘sisters"" to take a “chance” in a drawing for a pound-cake, said he turned over a new Icaf on the first of the year, but he wouldn’t mind chipping in a dollar, and play- ing a game of seven-up for the “pot.” ‘The sister didn’t “urge” him any more after that.— Norristown Herald, “UNDERSTAND me, Mrs. Trevor, I don’t say your man was drunk, or that he had been drink- ing even, but my husband says he can prove by three witnesses that they saw him try to pare an apple with a cork-screw, in broad daylight, and I thought that looked so suspicious I felt it my duty as a neighbor to come and tell you about it.”—Breakfast Tabie, Ir is the proper thing in New York and Brooklyn for all persons who have walked over the slender footbridge which connects the two cities to say that they experienced an almost irresistible desire te throw themselves from the wire walk into the water below, and few persons have the moral courage to make a clean breast of it and confess that they never in their lives felt more like hanging on with the grip of grim death on an “ Injun.”"—- Worcester Press. Anp now the question arises, as there is no such a place, can it be considered profanity for a man to make use of the monosyllable that has hitherto stood for perdition? Are we obliged any longer, from a sense of delicacy, to make use of the dash in spelling such words as_h—I- met hat, Jane Grey Swissh—Im, etc. ? ‘This is a question of some importance, and Professor Swing and Colonel Ingersoll should give us their views upon it ‘to wunst.”—/urlington Bawkeye. ‘Tue Montreal Gazet/e, having cause of com- plaint against its evening contemporaries in their pillage of its news, wrote up a visit to the sewers, in one of which it found an. old belt with a singular inscription in brass letters upon it. The same evening the Star brought out és graphic story of the visit to the sewers, wherein was the following passage: “Before retiring from the pestilential spot, the inspectors found hanging to a nail an old belt with the following mysterious words in brass letters: ‘ Eicitra Sih ‘T, Lt Slliws Rep. Ap. G. Nineveeht.’" The inscription read backwards is not so mysterious. — Camden Fost. Ex-Governor Coburn, of Maine, owns half a million acres, None have I; Sometimes 1 think how easily, if I had only half his pile, I could satisfy and silence the importunities of the various neighborhood butchers and bakers and candle-stick makers— Makes me cry. But he will have to leave his order for a wooden overcoat, just the same as the rest of us, at the undertaker’s, By and by. A CamsribGE boy writes to his chum up in Newton, and the following is an extract from his letter: ‘‘ We hev had a bully snow storm and me and the fellers hev good times and two days we didnt hev no school, and so we had great fun. Skinney Bates and me catched some piggins and tied their legs together and they flew agin a telegraf wire and got hung up, and some firemen had to put up a ladder and get em down. ‘The policeman is trying to find out who done it. Hookies brother has got to go to jail for putting powder into the old cob- blers coal box; it like to blowed his head off when he put the coal into the stove and he swore awful about it. I liked to plug snow- balls at folks, but it is very hard work to shovel snow. A boy stole my overshoes up to the skatin rink and I went for him; my nose is all swelled up; he was bigger than me."—Boston Globe. . In Memoriam Brigham Young. To supply the demand for the above-named illustration, depicting the ‘‘ Mormon’s Empty Pillow,” and owing to the fact that the edition of “Puck” containing it has been entirely ex- hansted, the cartoon has been published as a single sheet, and can be obtained from any newsdealer in the country. “PUCK” PUBLISHING CO., 13 N. William Street, New York. PUCK’S Pictorial Department SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. Havinc completed all necessary arrangements, and in compliance with numerous requests, the publishers and proprietors of Puck take pleasure in announcing that they have opened a GENERAL DESIGNING OFFICE, where the services of the best artists in America, including those of the dis- tinguished cartoonist, Mr. JOSEPH KEPPLER, are employed in furnishing all kinds of Illustrations, in the most perfect style, on short notice, and at reason- able rates, The Theatrical Profession will find it to their especial advantage, in arranging for LITHOGRAPHIC. PORTRAITS, to apply at this office, where Mr. Josern Kerpter is in personal charge of the department. Address, Puck Publishing Company, 13 N. WILLIAM ST., NEW YORK. ComMichooks.c