Puck — February 6, 1878 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

14 PUCK. Ir is folly-to try to flatter a tax collector.— Rome Sentinel, “A BuACKsMiTH always has at least one vice. —Rockland Courier,” Tuese longer days will give you more time to mind your own business.—Rome Sentinel. Joun Morrissey’s recovery is an illustration of the survival of the hittist.—PAi/a Bulletin, Branp has been banqueted in Missouri.— Ex, Well, Missouri loves almost any kind of company.— Phila. Bulletin. ‘Tue Cincinnati Commercial publishes a list of prominent citizens—a sort of cattlehog.— Graphic. Tue bright lexicon of youth is an una- bridged work, full of pictures.— Mew Orleans Picayune. Switzertanp has one cow to every three persons, and yet only one person in thirty takes a horn.—Free Press. # We learn from the Evening Post that there are to be “modified low-neck dresses.” We judge, accordingly, that a belt about the waist will be-necessary again.— Buffalo Express. A MISERLY man, who wanted to make a short journey by railroad, asked the agent ifhe could be sent as freight, and the agent said he was a freight he couldn’t.—Fat Contributor's Worst. Sue said, “Oh yes, I'am very fond of little boys,” and as a snow-ball struck in the back of her neck she added, “I feel as though I could eat acouple this minute, boiled.”— Rome Sentinel, Tue latest and wickedest on dit about the clubs is.to the effect that a married lady in this city, well known to society, but name not given, has recently fallen in love with her hus- band.—Boston Transcript. “Is there danger of the supply of fuel be- coming exhausted? asks a scientific writer. If he lives in a close neighborhood, and don’t keep the coal-house locked, we should think there is.— Brookville Democrat. Ir is a curious fact that nearly every wife- murderer in the country during the past five years has been found to have from six to twenty tea-store chromosin the house. Does the beauti- ful soothe, or doesn’t it ?—/ree Press. As an illustration of the deplorable tendency of this age to the use of ‘‘slang,” we quote the following from the verbatim report of an Omaha judge’s charge: “Plaintiff seems to have got the bulge on the defendant; jury, please take notice." — Graphic. ‘Tue best savings bank heard from lately is a snow bank on Mount Washington. Sergeant Cone, who was going down hill forty miles an hour, lost his balance and was deposited in the bank. His life was saved, but it took some time to restore his circulation.— Commercial Bulietin, A Literary gentleman is writing a series en- titled, “Sketches of the Loved and Renowned.” ‘That he should reach No. v,147 and not strike this office, is accounted for by the fact that we have diamond-tipped rods put up which pro- tect us from this sort of lightning.—Ow City Derrick. AN attempt made by a Philadelphia clergy- man, at a sacred coneert, Wednesday night, to tuise $13,000 debt on St. Ambrose’s Church by the Kimball plan, failed—Rome Sentinel. ‘That is a dastardly attempt to fasten the sins of New York on Philadelphia. We don’t dosuch things here. Churches in this town are usually paid for when they are built. And if they have a big debt, they don’t send for any of your sensational Kimballs. They just sell it to the negro minstrels.— Philadelphia Bulletin, A REWARD of $500 has been offered at Har- risburg for the recovery of a missing member of the Legislature. And every old maid in Pennsylvania now looks under her bed before retiring.—. Y, Star, Actua. fact! A pious man was going through the Common one Sunday, and came upon some youngsters “playing marbles.” ‘Boys! he said, ‘Boys, do you know what day it is?” One of the imps turns to a by- stander with “Here, can you tell this man what day this is,he don't know." — Boston Transcript ‘Soon after I came to Washington, three years ago, a waif on the howling sea of jour- nalistic adventure, I gathered up my coura and felt that I must see Mary Clemmer or dié.”” ‘This is an extract from a letter sent last week by one of those feminine apostles of gush to one of our valued exchanges at Albany. It is- a gloomy reflection that she succeeded in see- ing Mary Clemmer.—~Union- Argus. ‘Tne Philadelphia Zimes cries out: “The howl- some clangor of the past night stili tingles in our demoralized ears, and our aching head still rings with the wretched tootings of weirdly- discordant tin horns, and when we think that Gideon and Joshua are at the bottom of all our misery, it is impossible. to restrain the wish that the Midianites had been successful in the affair at Esdraelon, and that the walls of Jericho had been built a little more firmly.” Charity almost forbids the suggestion that the man had been spending the night in Jericho, surround- ing multitudinous horns, and was still wrestling with the rams, Last Monday John C. Sarberry, of Hanni- bal, put his old clothes on the river bank, an- chored a note to his wife on top of them with a stone, and hid around to read _his obituaries. When he read in the first paper he got hold of that “ that primordial dead beat and free-lunch gobbler, Jack Sarberry, had been good enough to the community and humanity to go to the devil without waiting to be called for,” he got so mad he couldn’t read any further, but sailed into town with a club and did the hardest day's work of his life, hunting for the editor. ‘Truly, it is not all of death to die.—Hawkeye. “Grease the Griddle, Birdie Darling,” a beautiful new song and chorus by the author of “Bang my Scalplocks o'er my Forehead,” will have a greater run than any piece since ‘“ Dar- ling, I am Growing Old.” The melotly is simple and plaintive. Price, 25 cts. Arranged for barber-shop guitars and French harps, 35 cents: Grease the Griddle, Birdie Darling— Grease it o'er with lambient Lard, Pour the Buckwheat Batter on it From the Bowl so Brown and Hard. And in order that the Buchwheats Be not Scorched and Burned and Sere, Grease the Griddle in Profusion— Grease the Griddle, Birdie dear, ‘This beautiful song may be obtained at all music stores, or by remitting the cost price to the publishers.—S¢. Louis Journal. In Memoriam Brigham Young. To supply the demand for the above-named illustration, depicting the ‘‘ Mormon’s Empty Pillow,” and owing to the fact that the edition of “Puck” containing it has been entirely ex- hansted, the cartoon has been published as a single sheet, and can be obtained from any newsdealer in the country. “PUCK” PUBLISHING CO., 13 N. William Street, New York. PUCK’S Pictorial Department SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. Havinc completed all necessary arrangements, and in compliance with numerous requests, the publishers and proprietors of Puck take pleasure in announcing that they have opened a GENERAL DESIGNING OFFICE, where the services of the best artists in America, including those of the dis- tinguished cartoonist, Mr. JOSEPH KEPPLER, are employed in furnishing all kinds of Illustrations, in the most perfect style, on short notice, and at reason- able rates, The Theatrical Profession will find it to their especial advantage, in arranging for LITHOGRAPHIC PORTRAITS, to apply at this office, where Mr. Joséen Keppter is in personal charge of the department. Address, Puck Publishing Company, 13 N. WILLIAM ST., NEW YORK.