Puck — January 9, 1878 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. “Now,” sobbed a devout North Carolina} fisherman, as a passenger packet came crushing ashore in the storm and darkness, ‘ Now,” he exclaimed, raising his hands to heaven and falling on his knees, ‘‘n>w, thank heaven, my wife and daughters can have good clothes and jewelry to wear to church.”— Hawkeye. Tue voice of the starlit cat never sounds to better advantage than in these frosty, clearand silent winter nights. Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish a prolonged note on the upper register from the closing wail of a trumpet solo. ‘The cat lasts longer and has a trifle more power, and will step quicker for a brick than the trumpet will, that is all the difference.—- Uniden- tified Paragrapher. Poor young thing! She fainted away at the wash-tub, and her pretty nose went kerstop into the soap-suds. Some said it was overwork; others, however, whispered that her beau had peeped over the back fence and called out: “ Hullo there, Bridget, is Miss Alice at home?” —Stray Paragraph. In olden times, when people heard Some swindler huge had come to grief, ‘They used a good old Saxon word, ‘And called that man “a thief.” But language such as that, to-day, Upon too many’s feelings grates. So people smile and simply say, “He——‘ re-hypothecates.’” — Commercial Advertiser. ‘Tne late Mrs. Gen. Hooker, then Miss Groes- beck of Cincinnati, was once at an evening- party in that city, when a young dandy was asked if he would like to be presented to her. “Oh, yes,” said he languidly, “trot her out.” The lady overheard the remark, and when he was presented she adjusted her eye-glasses de- liberately and closely scanned his clothing from hoof to collar. The survey finished, she waved her hand carelessly and said: ‘‘ Trot him back; Ihave seen all there is of him."—Newspaper Wai. Scene in a private box ofa fashionable theatre —Enter servant considerably excited: “If you please, mistress, your husband has just had a bad fall, and the doctor thinks he has sustained serious injuries to——" Loving wife: “ What a pity! I shall have to go home at once and see toit. (Turning to the doorkeeper) Give me a return check, quick.""— Vindictive Ex. As my wife and I at the window one day Stood watching a man with a monkey, A cart came by with “a broth of a boy,” Who was driving a stout little donkey. To my wife 1 then spoke, by way of a joke, « There's a relation of yours in that carriage.” To which she replied, as the donkey she spied, “Ah, yes, a relation—by marriage.” —Hidden Paragraph. He started out at 10 o'clock, a. M., when he said, “I wish youa Happy New Year.” At twelve he was saying, “Wish ye Happy New Year.” At two, Pp. M., it was. “Wishshappy New Year.” At four, “Sh shappy Newyer.” At six, “Shappynewer,” at eight, “ Nappy- shewer,” and at ten, thrusting his nignt-key in his mouth, and vainly endeavoring to let him- self in at the front door with his cigar, he turned to Jones, and said: “Splendid time makin’ calls; sh’new'r, ole fellow; ’n many turns day.”—- Argus. Ou, isn’t it nice to sit by the warm fireside these chill winter evenings and hear the mourn- ful hyperborean blasts whistle dolorously down the chimney-flue, while the snow drifts in great white piles against the sides of the house and the jingle of sleigh-bells is heard upon the frosty air, and the. hired girl burns 2000 feet of gas in the kitchen by the hour!—S¢, Louis Journal. An old poet said, ‘a low soft voice was an excellent thing in woman.” Yes, it probably is, but of what account is it when she suddenly has occasion to call her oldest son off the top of the house, shout after the departing milk- i shoo a cow out of the garden, shriek d into the cellar that the baby had fallen into the cistern, and howl “fire” for her neigh- bor’s blazing barn, all at the same time? ‘Tue other night a gentleman who lives out on West Hill, went home in a condition, and several times fell down on his head, greatly to the detriment of his silk hat, which came out of the series of accidents looking like a con- certina with hair on. He threw it away, o! course, but the next day he met his wife on the street, wearing that identical hat, pinned up at the side, elaborately trimmed, and the envy of every woman she met. A PAINTER once a store did keep, And he was quite a joker; For when he foand his girl asleep, He with a yellow ochre. —Hackensack Republican, THe Secretary of the Treasury announces that “the public debt statement will not be is- sued until the 2d of January, instead of on the 1st, as usual.” This is a crushing disappoint- ment to our readers, but never mind, there will be enough private debt statements sent around by the 1st to satisfy the most of you, and if you don’t get what you think is your share, come down to the sanctum and we'll let you look at some of ours.— Hawkeye. ‘Take, O, take that bill away, ‘That, alas! long since was due! Call again some other day, When the trees do bud anew— Mebbe, dimly distant spring Some financial change will bring. St. Louis Journal; Stick ye close, young washer maid— Budge ye not an inch to-day; Other souls have watched and prayed While the years have sped away: Neither give the lad his things ‘Till he forth the quarter brings. Derrick. WORTHLESS IMITATIONS of CALL; FELISCHMANN & COS. CENOINE ARTICLE In Memoriam Brigham Young. ‘To supply the demand for the above-named illustration, depicting the “‘ Mormon’s: Empty Pillow,” and owing to the fact that the edition of “Puck” containing it has been entirely ex- hansted, the cartoon has been published as a single sheet, and can be obtained from any newsdealer in the country. 2 “PUCK” PUBLISHING CO., 13 N. William Street, New York. PUCK’S Pictorial Department SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. HavinG completed all necessary arrangements, and in compliance with numerous requests, the publishers and proprietors of Puck take pleasure in announcing that they have opened a GENERAL DESIGNING OFFICE, where the services of the best artists in America, including those of the dis- tinguished cartoonist, Mr. JOSEPH KEPPLER, are employed in furnishing all kinds of Illustrations, in the most perfect style, on short notice, and at reason- able rates, The Theatrical Profession will find it to their especial advantage, in arranging for LITHOGRAPHIC PORTRAITS, to apply at this office, where Mr. Joseru Keprcer is in personal charge of the department. Address, Puck Publishing Company, 13 N. WILLIAM ST., NEW YORK. ~ comicbooks.com