Puck — January 2, 1878 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

14 A TRAMP was arrested, taken before a magis- trate, and sentenced for three months. The justice, in explaining the sentence, remarked that while there was no evidence that the pri- soner had been guilty of any crime, he thought it prudent to commit him, as he had the wild, haggard look of a man about to start a news- paper.—Stray Squib. “ WurtHeR are we drifting?" A Philadel- phia journalist has been arrested on the charge of embezzlement. If the man is proved guilty, we hope an example will be made of him. The journalistic profession must not be brought down to the level of that of a bank president or member of Congress.—orr. Herald. “Yours is a very perilous life,” remarked a lady passenger to the conductor, “doesn’t it require a great deal of courage on your part?” “Oh yes, ma'am,” replied the conductor, as he gently but firmly charged her ten cents extra for neglecting to get a ticket. ‘Yes, ma'am; none but the brave deserve the fare.” And as he passed on she blushed, and wondered if he meant that piece of impudence for a compli- ment,— Burlington Hawkeye. We have a call-bell in our private office. It is used to call one of our boys with. At least that is the popular legend connected with the article. When we want one of the boys we ring the bell, and then go out in the back office and hunt him up and tell him of the fact. It always pleases him to learn that we have been ringing. —Rockland Courier, “T CALL you darling,” she said, as she leaned her head on his coat-collar. “Show your hand,” he _Teturned, mechani- cally. The young miss, not understanding his answer, continued to poker head against his chin, and he hove ace high of relief _at her un- sciousness of his mistake,—Professional Para- graph frou Rockland Courier. Prope who open car-windows never go to heaven. ‘They are essentially “dummed.” By the man whosits behind them.— Hawkeye. An exchange takes half a column to tell “What we drink;” whereas some folks have simply to wink at the barkeeper.— Worcester Press. A HEN, nosing, or rather, billing around, one morning, for something to wet her whistle ewith, found some wine in a broken bottle and sipped it; and immediately she started off on a waltz, crying, ‘‘ Cut-cut-cut-cut, Cut-aw-ba!” —Cin, Sab, Night. Wuen you meet a school-girl with a far-away look in her eyes, and nervously-moving lips, she is not thinking of her beau, but wrestling with a conundrum in mental arithmetic.— Easton Free Press. For many years we have heard a carpenter described as a wood butcher; but here is an advertisement asking for a plane cook.—. ¥. Herald, Wuy didn't he eat up the whole desk? We refer to the anaconda who swallowed a pigeon- whole.—. Y. Com. Adv. In Memoriam Brigham Young. To-supply the demand for the above-named illustration, depicting the ‘‘ Mormon’s Empty Pillow,” and owing to the fact that the edition of “Puck” containing it has been entirely ex- listed, the cartoon has been published as a sing. sheet, and can be obtained from .any newsdealer in the country. “PUCK” PUBLISHING CO., 13 N. William Street, New York. The Truth at Last.| In order to protect the public against imposition, and as a rebuke to unscrupulous advertisers, the J Pianos at the Centen- tial Exhibition, Philadelphia, reser Revetgives ‘given to Steinyay & Sons the following CERTIFICATE: \\ This is to certify that the piano-fortes of Messrs. Sons, comprising Concertand Parlor Grand, Square and Upright, exhibited by them at the Centennial Exposition at Philadelphia in 1876, presented the great- tat totality of excellent qualities and novelty of construct. tom, and in all points of excellence they received our Aighest average of points, and accordingly our unanimous apinion concedes fo Metrs. Steinway & Sont ‘Highet legree of excellence in all their styles)” Dated Futy 28, 1877. © Hoot iE Ouiven, Ep. Faves Penner, Josern Haxny, ALP. Bannan, . Lavassxur, JAutes C. WATSON, -E. Hitcaan, Wrttas Tomson, Gao. F. Bristow, J. Soumpwavan, The following are the ratings as originally made and copied from the note-book of the examining Judges, Guly certifed by them ON STEINWAY & SONS’ PIANOS: a Square Piance, out of a possible Boe Ubeithe anos, out ofa posible Zt $5.00 Parlor Grands, cut ofa ponsible $6! Shon Concert Grands, out ofa posible got 957 GRAND TOTAL AVERAGE 95}! ‘The neat highest exhibitor reached a total average of go}, only Alltabies of ratings published by other piano-forte, manufactur: ers are declared false and fraudulent by authority of the Judges. EVERY STEINWAY PIANO IS FULLY WARRANTED FOR 5 YEARS. _ilustrated Eatalogues, with Price List, mailed free on appl “BTEINWAY & SONS’ WAREROOMS, STEINWAY HALL, 109 & 111 East Fourteenth 8t., NEW YORK. AMD YET BEING SOLD AS Sy MPRESSED YER: pints beet Ro Pree ed CLnarwe AOR SOCIETE FRANCAISE DE VAMITIE MASQUERADE BALL, MONDAY, JANUARY 7, ACADEMY OF MUSIC. TICKETS IN ALL THE HOTELS OF THE CITY. r Boxes at Delmonico’s, Brunswick Hotel, Fifth Avenue Hotel, Jand at Rulman's, 111 Broadway. PT lis & MOELICH, 368 CANAL ST., N. ¥., offer great Bargains in WATCHES, DIAMONDS, JEWELRY, STER- na SiLver em AND, D TRIPLE PLATED sens bers TOLGAY GIFTS Evraptisnen 1638. Colton Dental Association: ORIGINATORS OF NITROUS OXIDE GAS YOR THE PAINLESS EXTRACTION OF TEETH. Established Joly rsth, 1863. OUR SPECIAL’ IS EXTRACTING TEETH, ver 100,000 operations recorded on our scroll We have'given ut to all ages from 235 t0 85 years Office, 19 COOPER INSTITUTE. Cassemere, Hat ‘Manufacturer. aa“ PORTRAITS, 37 Union Square, New York. LEVATOR. PORTRAIT Madison Square, New FToRrR=EX Highest Awards: PARIS, VIENNA & NEW YORK. BRANCH: Old Post Office Building, NASSAU ST., N. Y. NICOLL, The Tailor, _$3.00 10 $10.00 $12.00 to $40.00 ‘co upwards, MUSIOAL BOXES. PANTS to ond PRICES GREATLY REDUCED. THE LARGEST STOUK IN THE WORLD. M. J. PAILLARD & CO., 680 BRUADWAY, near Bond St. W FREE! FREE!! FREE!!! ense Descriptive Catalogue of Novels, Song Books, Acting. Pl Writers, “Fortune Playing Cards, Books 6 Dratghesy Cricket, ase Bally sien: Face Preparations, &c., unequaled and unat: tainable elsewhere. Mailed free on application to Pamphlet & Book Binder,. Pamphlet BEEN ere Cec p ee Sed Pas Books for bass * Bersonal attestion to everything entrusted to my care. ABERLE’S TIVOLI THEATRE, Sth Street, near 3rd Avenue. The finest and most comfortable Variety Theatre in the city. Opera, Ballet, Paotomfines, Vaudeville, Farces, and Gymnastic FIVE HOURS OF ENTERTAINMENT, Admission, 25 cents. Reserved seats, 60 cents. Reserved seats in Boxes, 75 cents. Balcony, 15 cents. Marneax eveay Tuvaspay, Apsission 15 cents. ‘The Tivoli is the best Variety Theatre for families,