Puck — October 31, 1877 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

—— PUCK. fastened to the sous-ineroyab/e with a double row of box-pleating, trimmed 4 créve-cceur, with boutons of morocco. As she stood thus by the hymeneal altar, she was an embodiment of all that is gracieuse and lovely in womanhood. CHAPTER V. FOILED! ‘Tue bridal party waited in solemn and ex- pectant silence for another hour. ‘The absent Alphonso continued absent. ‘The clergyman in the vestry grew impatient. He sent around the corner for another pint of stout, and was pained to'learn that the dealer would not trust him until his outstanding score was settled. ‘The portly Beadle became enraged. He re- garded the defection of Alphonso as an insult to his office. “We have come here to have a wedding,” he said. ‘‘ Where is the wedding?” The stern Cock-Parient advanced to the side of Ludovica, and took her hand. Pressing the lily-white member to his bosom, he murmured: “ My dear, this is not, in Alphonso, the Cor- rect Kibosh.”” “What can I say?” she whispered, her lovely eyes brimming with tears. “ You might say ‘ beer ’,”” he suggested, med- itatively; “‘ or you might say ‘1 pass,’ or ‘ come off,’ or ‘they all do it,’ or anything else. But then it would not be the——” “ Hush!” broke in the portly Beadle, ‘that'll do!” ‘The stern Cock-Parient was still holding the hand of Ludovica. He was gazing into her soulful orbs. She stood before him a vision of loveliness, the pallor of pain upon her damask cheeks, down which two tears yet trickled; the one on the left cheek ahead of the one on the right about half an inch. Who could withstand such a delightful prox- imity? It was too much for the Beadle. “Stand up!” he said to the coupie. “We ' are going to have this wedding one way or an- other, and you have got to immolate yourselves upon the altar of the occasion.” “ But it is not I who am to be married; it is my son,” cried the stern Cock-Parient. “You brought ‘me here to perform a mar- riage, and a marriage we mean to perform,” the portly Beadle replied. ‘To do otherwise would not be at all the Correct Kibosh.” The stern Cock-Parient yielded. Ere he could recover his breath, he was dragged up to the altar, and the twain were made one flesh, as far as the clergyman’s part of the business went. * ae * * In less time than it takes to tell it, the cere- mony was over, and the stern Cock-Parient realized what he had done. In an agony of grief and despair he rolled upon the ground and wept, and tore his hair, The hollow nave resounded as he beat his head upon the marble floor, and shrieked in accents of conviction: “Tt is not, it is not the Correct Kibosh!”” * * * * Suddenly he ceased, and raised himself upon his elbow, as he saw a couple entering the chancel arm-in-arm. As they advanced toward him, his eyes be- came dilated, and fixed in horror, ‘The roses left his cheeks, and an ashen hue overspread his countenance snd possibly other parts of his anatomy, He look them and A fearful convulsion shook his frame, With one long-drawn sigh, his spirit fled up into the'lim- itlessirealms of space, and he died. 5 «See, Alphonso,” said Ethelinda, for'she it was; “he is dead. The shock has killed him.” « ‘©We must-all die,” said Alphonso. the Correct Kibosh. . Ethelinida, my dear, din- ner is.waiting.” - : OLLENDORFF’S METHOD ILLUSTRATED. Do you see the baker with the white bread? —No, I see not the baker with the white bread, but I'see the young man with the golden candelebra. G Who has the calf? The or the pupil of my enemy? i Who has tbe good bread ?—Thou hast it not. as it not ?—'T'he soldier has it not. son of my friend, Have I the white goose of my neighbor ?— No, you have not the white goose of your neighbor, you have the big eagle of the good Englishman. Does the good Russian weep?—The good Russian weeps. — Does the good Russian weep because he is cold?—No, the good Russian weeps because he is ashamed of himself. Hast thou it? Who has it ?—I have it. FITZNOODLE IN: AMERICA. No, XXXI, BANKING AND FINANCE, Ya-as, I'm told there are a gweat many banks he-ah, just as there are in othah _ countwies; but Amerwicans are verwy eccen- twic in the way of managing them— infernally aw odd, by Jove, I nevah worwy myself about’ money «“whino,” yer know—I always have more’ than I wequire, and I have a stwong objection’to be aw bawed about such twifles: The -majorwity- of ple he-ah amuse themselves by ing widiculous storwies about differwent-arwange- ments in varwious monetarwy twansactions— devilish bad taste. Jack Carnegie says that everwy bank ‘in the countwy is contwolled by | { { wobbers who appwopwiate gweenbacks and other securwities, and, yer know, help them- selves just as they think pwoper. Ifa fellaw shows that he can’t do this sort of thing without | twoubles of conscience he’s instantly welieved | of his aw wesponsibility. According to the aw constitution of this countwy two or thwee aw banks must fail everwy day. The authorwities are verwy severe in administerwing punishment if the law is bwoken. Some fellaws in twad they say, want to alter this arwangement, but believe it’s an extwemely difficult matter to weform aw a law which 1s conicerey by a- large majorwity an extwemely desirewable peacce te helps to. distwibute wealth ax i 1 havn’t-made a study of thee but: Jack says'so,'so it must be twue, oe chave “aw Sasa and cents” pounds, shillings and. pence—verwy’ ‘don't know how many cents make a doll T think it’s somewhere near a hundwed_ and Jack attend to all these twifles for me> 1) nevah can get them satisfactorwily thwough mys bwain— too much’ pwessure aw. % comicbooks.com