Puck — October 31, 1877 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| PUCK. “PUCK’", No. 13 North William Street, New York FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Teras Jo Sunscripers. One Copy one year, or 52 numbers.....+0+ ‘One Copy, six months, or 26 sumbers ‘One Copy for thirteen weeks. Postace Fras. THE ERL KING. (WITH DUE APOLOGIES TO MR. GOETHE.) : HO rides so late through the night wind wild? It’s Rutherford pa with his darling child; He holds in his arms, to keep it warm, His own little Civil Service Reform. «My boy, why so frightened dost hide thy face?” «© See, father, where Conkling is rushing apace, Old Roscoe C. and his New York train!” Said Rutherford, low: * He's got "em again,”” «© Little chap, little chap, come go with me, My fellow-fakers shall wait on thee; Thou shalt rest thee in slumber mid joys serene, ‘And watch the work of our big ‘ machine.’ «« My father, my father, and seest thou not Old Cameron there in yon dark spot? It’s Simon himself, and I heard him say, «1 be an ambassador bold some day!” «0 father, another-I hear and see; ‘And he’s looking at thee and winking at me! “I's Hugh J. Hastings—ob, watch him blow! ‘Ob, what does he mean by ¢ puffing’ thee so ?"" ‘The father groaneth—he rideth wild; He holds in his arms the sobbing child; Arvived at the “ White House,” with fear and dread, Close in his arms, the child lay dead. SIMON CAMERON, Tue extraordinary chicken evolved from the Pennsylvania delegation egg is astonishing the country. Is simple Simon, old Simon the senator, he of the amorous escapades with a fair widow in Washington, to be Envoy extra- ordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary at the court of St. James's? Puck doesn’t know that he'd make a worse minister than Lady Mary Pierrepont, if not a much better one. He might become exceed- ingly popular. Fancy the havoc he would cause among all the dowager duchesses and peeresses in England’s capital during the sea- son, Perhaps after all it would be better not to let him go out of consideration for their feelings, By the way, this Civil Service Reform busi- ness seems on’a very unsatisfactory basis. Per- sonal considerations seem to have a great deal to dowith it. Puck hasn’t yet seen the whole- some clean-sweep of corrupt officers which he was led to expect from Hayes's assurances. The machine has “ bust,” but it is still suffici- ently in working order to answer the purpose of some of the most unscrupulous and _pertina- cious wire-pullers. _ Tus is an off season for the small boy. He can’t eat green fruit and he can’t fall through .an ice-hole; so he hangs round the parlor and tells his sister’s young man how much of Anna Maria’s chiefest glory is hair and how much is jute switch. line from Brian Boru. JENKINS AGAIN. the shaking up it experienced on the oc- casion of the marriage of a young man distinguished in polo, the son of nobody in particular, to a no doubt estimable young wo- man, the daughter of a Democratic banker- politician, when it is again much agitated by several other marriages .of equally estimable young women to young men notable for no- thing in particular. ie Herald and the World are likely to prove formidable rivals to the most ‘ fashion- able society” journals in chronicling such events in the true spirit of Jenkins, It is cer- tainly of vast political and social importance that the public at large should know by special dispatch that a girl, saved from drowning, named Hunter, who happened to have an an- cestor who was a surgeon, has married a man named Kane, who is a relative of another man who is a would-be Anglomaniac in coaching. It is of equal national importance to learn that a respectable and intelligent young woman who has written verses, who is the daughter of a family very impecunious but lucky in matri- monial alliances, and who is lovely and accom- plished — brides always are—has been taken to wife by a magazine writer, whose name is not “ familiar in our mouths as household words.” Then, what language can express our deep gratitude to the daily paper that tells us that a youthful female Delano has been hitched on (we can’t help the obvious pun) to one Hitch, who lives in Hong Kong, and that they are go- ing there. They may go to Hong Kong, or to any other place, for that matter. We really have no objection; we have the welfare of all newly-married people at heart. But these events are trivial, and sink into in- significance when the information is vouchsafed us that—yes, there can be no doubt about it— that an auctioneer who sells things in Clinton Hall has a son who has actually married a young woman, the daughter of an American citizen! What are Centennials, or Democratic and Republican conventions compared to repub- lican news such as this? We enjoy it; we revel in it. It is moral, intellectual, historical and fashionable pabulum; only we don't get quite enough to satisfy us. We long for more. Mar- riages are not infrequent in New York, and it wouldn't be a bad idea to send Jenkins to each one to report it at length. A triple-sheet might be devoted to the purpose. Soe has the world recovered from s ! ASH-CART BELLS IN BAXTER STREET. THE SPLICING OF BILL BUGGINS TO MISS SUKEY O'SNOOKS. J ts R. BILL BUGGINS, the eminent street- Ve] sweeper, was united yesterday, in the bonds of matrimony, to Miss Sukey O’Snooks, of the scullery department of the gin-mill of Pat Maloney, Esq., of Baxter Street. Mr. Buggins comes of an exceedingly illus- trious family. The elder Buggins was a skillful artist with the jimmy, and spent many years of his life in delightful and well-earned retirement in a magnificent stone mansion, with high walls, at Sing Sing, on the Hudson. The grandfather of the groom reached a very high position in connection with hemp—he was cut off and down in the prime of Tite. The blushing bride was the admired of all admirers, and the observed of all observers; her beautiful nesretrousse, and the exquisite symmetry of her pock-marked face creating a decided sensation. Her descent is in a straight Her royal Irish father, an exile of Erin, gave her away at once. She was richly attired in green damask pin-back, and her raven front was surmounted by a wreath of roses and cauliflowers, kept from “ fetching way” by a breast-pin from the 99-cent store, in the Bowery. The groom was simply clad in fashionable shirt-sleeves, and trowsers richly sprung with pa- tent patched ventilating-shafts. The ceremony impressed him deeply, and had such an effect on his nervous system that he couldn’t keep particularly steady, notwithstanding’ he had taken the precaution of fortifying himself with a pint of whisky for the trying ordeal. ‘The wedding breakfast was not over when we went to press. The toasts and speeches were models in their way, and several guests had the floor, and, from appearances, intended to keep it for some time. Puckerings. Ice cream has kind of lost its grip, so to speak, as it were. A Boston laborer deposited $87 in a pile of lumber. He just discovered that it has been reduced to §5 by rats. Lumber and rats are apparently safer than most savings banks. ‘TwEep announces that if he is released from prison, he will promise not to go into politics ain. He sees a better field for the exercise of his peculiar talents in the bank president business. Mrs. FINKELSTONE gave birth to triplets, the other day, and now subscriptions are com- ing in. Isn’t this an encouragement to the triplet business that may eventually lead to an embarrassement of riches? Tue Potato-bug is not dead yet. One of him knocked at the door of a Minnesota granger, and requested the loan of an ulster, promising the return about Murphy season of next year. “PROVIDENCE has its own way of doing things,” he said; ‘and doubtless there's a pur- pose in these things; but if /had been makin man, in view of the exigencies of this speci season, I would have put his nose somewhere where it wouldn’t be so blamed conspicuous.” Ir takes the Boston papers get ahead of the world on news. Next thing you know, one of those enterprising sheets will have informed its readers that ‘‘Sedentary Taurine declines to resume his residence in the occident, and proposes to hibernate in Canada.” We read that a Missouri girl after drinking a bottle of lager went to bed and put the bottle by the side of the bed. Being aroused by a burglar in the night, she pointed the nozzle of the bottle at him, and the burglar, thinking she was going to shoot, fled. ‘This shows the ad- vantage of drinking a bottle of lager before going to bed. Joaquin MILuerR says that Billy Piper in “The Danites” is a true picture of himself and his life when a boy. This is very interesting, and, considering that Billy Fifer in the play is a girl in disguise, we are absolutely overcome with awe, when we contemplate the golden beard of the Poet of the Sundown Seas.