Puck — September 12, 1877 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. THE FASHIONS WE LAUGH AT! Yo A LETTER FROM THE OLD BOY. InFernat Recions, [H—1], Sept. 6, 1877. My Own Puck: I hear you are having cooler weather in New York (which is only a second edition of this place), but the thermometer here never varies worth mentioning. Lain glad to hear that Oliver Cotter, who is an agent of mine, is getting the best of the beer-drinkers, for I can’t claim any one that just drinks beer. If they stop drinking beer, they may reform in other ways, until I am sure of them. I received a dispatch from the Hera/d “ P.1. man,” saying’ that “Eli Perkins" had changed his name to “ Ilie Perkins,” and to secure a seat for the ‘boss prevaricator. I sent word back that we did not want him. | We have some reputation left that we don’t care to have disgraced. You would, perhaps, be surprised to see the number of ex-ministers, brokers, members of congress and boards of education, that are with us. One of your present police commissioners sent on a trunk full of Jinen clothes, some claret, and, I think, by the looks of things, a piece of ice, which had melted on the way. My dominion is getting so overcrowded that I think of annexing Brooklyn; that would save the residents the trouble of moving. Dana has written to me for accommodations for himself and his friends, G. W. Childs, A.M., Secor Robeson, Count Joannes, Serg. Bates, and Private Dalzell. He did not mention Good Deacon Richard Smith; but I never did expect to sec him. G. F. Train will not come, as we have no children here. C. A, D, says he has got tired living under a fraudulent administration, governed by a man with a postage-stamp on his brow, but thinks he could live a little longer if the aforesaid man Wud ace: We (Masculine). would only give him some position like the sec- retary of the navy. I wrote back, through my chief agent in your country, Mr. Jay Gould, saying it was a per- plexing question, but, to the best of my knowl- edge, the man should marry the girl. A gentleman arrived last week from Utah, and appears to be very lonesome. Your friend SATAN, Commonly called the D—1. AMERICA. XXV, NIAGARA. Ya-as; Newport was beginning to gwow wather mon- otonous, because everwybody there talks about aw the , same thing, yer know, and the fwe- quent wound of dining, widing and other arwange- ments, becomes doosid slow, and aw baws a fellaw. Jack says Amerwican society lacks or- wiginality. Ya-as, I dessay it does, although I haven’t made any deep wesearches on the sub- ject. ‘Aw had some ideaw of going on a cwuise in a yacht, though I'm not verwy fond of the bwiny; but as some fellaws weferred to Nia- garwa, thought I'd just take a wun up he-ah and sec this verwy much overwated catarwact. | 1 have aw seen it,and I can't say that I’m twe- mendously impwessed. It was a verwy complicated pwoceeding get- | ting fwom Newport—-first in a aw steamer, then in a wailwoad, and then in another wailwoad. | Doosidly tirewing, by Jove. 1 weally don’t know how we got he-ah at all. ‘These water- wing-places are too far away fwom one another =a 5 altogether. Jack says it all arwises fwom a we- publican form of government; but although Jack’s generwally wight, I can't say I quite see the force of the wemark; for how could the government pwevent this sort of thing ?—aw that would be weally too widiculous, ‘The Niagarwa at Billmore’s Gardens in New | York isn't the corwect Niagarwa. ‘That was | only a joke of some of the club fellaws. And ‘pon my soul I thought it stwange at the time | that such a wenowned catarwact should be in a | pwomenade concert. *But there are so many extwaordinarwily queer arwangements in Amer- | wica that of course I wasn’t surpwised. | It was late when we arwived. We went toa hotel conducted by communists, Jack says, as it is called the International. But I find these ‘aw communists seem to do things verwy much the same as other landlord fellaws. I didn’t sleep well because I could hear a noise of a lot of water wushing down and down near my bed- woom. ‘These were the Falls, I suppose; don't pwecisely see now how they could have been anything clse. | After bweakfast, at which there were a gweat many bwides and bwidegwooms, we just looked out in the stweet, when a fellaw asked me if I | wanted a carwiage. Now 1 nevaw like to be bawed in such matters; but another fellaw asked me, and then thrwee or four more were verwy anxious to take me a dwive. ‘These fel- laws worwied meso that I actually washed back | into the hotel until we were weady to go out. ‘hese cabmen are another wepublican nuisance in this countwy. Niagarwa is a considerwable quantity of water tumbling down wocks verwy quickly into | awiver. It looks like a lot of soap-suds—those thingsaw laundwesses use on washing-day. There are two catarwacts. Amerwica has one, and ; Gweat Bwitain the other. Doosid odd that | Canada should be so close to Amerwica. All a fellaw has to do to yet into Bwitish dominions is to cwoss a wirwy bwidge to another side of the wiver. I’ve seen a gweat many differwent things, some of them devilish curwious, but 1 pwefer giving my impwessions at aw some fu- ture perwiod, comicbooks.com