Puck — August 22, 1877 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

When a Pike county, Pennsylvania, man is bitten by a rattle-snake, the condition of the snake five minutes afterwards is said to be the best temperance lecture ever delivered.—An- drews's Basar. Wnuisxev.is sold in Rome which will enable a blind man to see a sea-serpent two hundred feet long in the middle of a twenty-acre lot of dry sand, and yet people complain of «dull times, —Rome Sentinel, Wuen a Pearl Street girl wants to beat around the bush and send her young man home, she simply says: “Oh, George, sit down and make yourself at home. I am, and I wish you was too."— Camden Post. Sr. Louis could stand about a dozen more bank-suspensions. It has been a scandalous fact that in this city when a man was too poor to go into any other kind of business, he started a bank.—Aepublican, A MAN may even think of his deceased grand- mother and not be able to prevent the ludi- crous of his nature from bubbling up and run- a group for a picture.— Oil City Derrick. Iv’s the use of tobacco in large quantities that is injurious. ‘lake for instance Mr. James ‘Tucker, of Greyson county, Ky., w! whole Hogshead of it fall on him and kill him the other day.—/%/, Bulletin, Ir is enough to bring tears to the eyes « potato to sce a Burlington man, on “lodge night,” brace himself up against the office-door and try to open a postal 1 to see what is in it, and who it's from. — Hawker Every shopkeeper who refuses to let his women-clerks sit down when they are not busy, deserves to be a bankrupt till doomsday, and then be made to stand on one leg, through all eternity.— Cincinnati Commercial. , First reflection —“ Really, I'll either have to quit alcoholic drinking, or stop my newspapers. Expenses must be curtailed.” Second reflec- tion—“ Well, the newspapers don’t amount to much anyhow!"— Oil City Derrick. Wuen you kiss a Fulton girl, she half parts her rosy lips and moistens them with a gentle breath, and then silently presses them to yours, nor breaks the sweet bond until one of the party calls for a breathing spell.—Fudlon Times. Tue statement that the coal-fields of the world will be exhausted in two thousand years brings no permanent solace to the man who has to carry the present daily supply for the family up three pair of stairs. — Bridgeport Standard. Youc Hover (in expectation of a copper) —O I'll open the gate.” Young Lady on horseback—You are a very civil lad. You don’t come from these parts?” | Young Hodge—“ Yow're a liar. I dew!"— Punch, A Nort Carona man has invented a new spark-arrester, just as though the old man yell- ing down-stairs to the girl to come to bed, and asking if that sap-head intends to stay for break- fast, wasn't effective enough.— Brovkville Jef- Sersonian. A pores called “Leonaine,” purporting to have been written by Poe, been started through the Revspapen by a Western coverer. If Poe did really write it, it is a consolation to think that he is dead.— Boston Transcript. Fasiions are but ephemeral. idea, a style, pleases the popular fancy for a moment, then gives way to something else. Here but six months ago all the men were wear- ing Ulsters; now not one is seen on the streets, —Phila, Bulletin. A. certain | “© A MAN is in earnest when his stripped and naked soul wades out in the boundless, shore- less, bottomless ocean of eternity,” booms ‘Tal- madge, but the figure would have been more effective if he had added, ‘without his galoshes."”—Hoston Lost. A New song is entitled, “Darling, Kiss my Eyelids Down.” And no young man is going to refuse to comply with such a delicious re- quest as that. But the excuse that eyelids won't go shut without being rather gauzy.— Norristown Herald. He who most loudly condemns a newspaper for publishing personals about himself or family will sneak into a news-office, when he thinks no one is looking, buy half-a-duzen copies of the paper, mark the items and send them to out-of- town friends.— Yonkers Gaselte, Broop will tell. When a tramp refuses to cat his lunch on a door-step, without demand- ‘an make up your mind that aristocratic blood has been obliged to demean itself only by force of circumstances.— Whitehall Times. As aclass ministers area mild, passive people externally, but if you could see deep down in their heart of hearts, you would discover there a fierce, wild longing’ for a congregation who have conscience enough not to put lead five- cent pieces into the contribution-box, - Times. A MAN is generally supposed to be ina pretty tight place when he is between the upper and nether millstones of an adverse fate; but if he knows himself he doesn’t want to exchange places with a fellow who gets between a brick wall and a baby-carriage propelled by a deter- mined woman.— Moreester Rewer. parlor Sunday evenii anything about it until Monday morning, when ing noise and crying, “ Darling Susie, Darling He kept it up all day, too, and the old Sentinel. “AY heavily ona chair, from which he at once leaped | up with an exclamation as if to get a closer of the dispatch. “Can't help it if you ** said Mrs. S., who was on her knees, re- pairing a break in the straw-carpet. “ Serves you right for not tacking down this torn place. next time.” Seth, who was busy pulling a dozen long carpet-tacks from the seat of his thin pantaloons, thought so too, and asked his wife if the arnica was in the table drawer or the upper cupboard.— Boston Com, Bulletin, PAT PRICE SI FOR SALE AT ‘ 13 North William | CAN BE SUPPLI Willmer & Rogers New 31 Beekman Street, New York. issed down, is | ing a clean napkin to place under his chin, you Fulton | Ir was very careless leaving the parrot in the | » but she never thought | he roused the whole house by making a smack- | in the rear,” began Spicer, as he commenced reading the head lines of the war | dispatches of the Boston //era/d, and sat down | Better look’ on the chairs before you sit down | NT COVERS FOR FIL You're right, young man, there's no undis- turbed rest this side of the grave. With us, | now, the long day’s work with the pen is ended, but yet our conscience bids us gird up our loins | afresh and wander out in the world and try and find a man who wraps up a paper of tobacco as | he found it, when he hans | s it back after he has begged a chew of you.— Fulton Times. He was a beginner in the newspaper work, and the editor, wanting to have some good Sunday reading, told him to fix up a column of “Serious ‘lhoughts.” ‘he first serious | thought evolved by the youngster was: “There is at times over a ton of power in the leg of a mul ‘This was followed by the equally | serious thought that the same peculiarity was shared by the editor.—Rome Sentinel. | We don’t understand why it is that a constable with a search-warrant, looking for whiskey in a temperance town, can search for five days and hever get a smell, while a dry and thirsty: man in the same town steps out of his office, walks iskly away, and in three minutes i nt alley, wiping his perspiring mouth with his cuffs. — Burlington Burdette. i FELISHA GENOINE ARTICLE are much interested in the case. — Xome | BLACK AND COLORED PRINTING INKS Use ox tints Parex ane MANerACTUIED BY FRED'K H. LEVEY & CO., PRINTING INK MANUFACTURERS, 32 Beekman Street, NEW YORK. OK. 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