Puck — August 15, 1877 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DRAMATIC NOTES. Do actors act ? ‘Tus is a bad year for prodigies. Gat. Hamittos is going on the stage. Wuat has become of the beautiful Anna- boyle Lee? “ Bany ” is cutting his teeth. He’ be married next month, Mr. Cocutan’s eyeglass has gone to the Union Square. Mr. Coghlan accompanies it. | Ima pe Murska will appear with consort accompaniment at the Academy in October. "we Charleston theatre-goer anticipates a brilliant season, So does the Charleston sheriff. s1E Morcan made a hit in Chillicothe — she struck the critic of the Pan-Handle Gasette favorably. Geo. Kyicur begins his starring tour at Philadelphia on the 20th. He Otto make a grand success. ‘Tne Bosirace Fasity have all been engaged for next season, and now the young man of the Press breathes freely. ‘Luis evening the Union Square will wrap it- self up coquettishly in a Pink Domino, and | woo the summer theatre-goer. going to ‘Tis is the season of the year when the | “star” speaks of his forthcoming engagement in about two months it will be “ open dates. | Miss Anna Dickinson is still dormant. thaps, though, we'd better not have men- tioned the fact. Why stir the sleeping hurri- | cane? Janavuscuek is to appear at the New Broad- way in “Brunhild,” which is Wagner’s trilogy | condensed, translated into prose, and de-Wag- | nerized. Miss Mary ANDERSON is not so much of a | phenomenon as she was. When a phenomenon ceases to be a phenomenon, she becomes a | nuisanc “ Uncre Tom's Canin” will be the next nov- | elty at Wood's Theatre, ‘There is a freshness , about this production which commends it to the favor of amuscment-seckers. Mk. Duran brings his French company to the 23d Street Opera House on the 8th of Oc- tober, to give us our beloved Gallic drama in all its original, unwhitewased naughtiness. ‘rue Western tragedian is the kind of man who spurns with contumely the offer of less than $1000 for a week's playing — but if asked to take a glass of beer, accepts with ardor and avidity. Rosk. Eyrince is playing in Utah in “ Miss Multon;” but somehow it doesn’t seem to take, as the Mormons can’t understand why there should beso much trouble about a man who has only two wives. Jou G. Savite, Esy,, is agent for the Balti- more Academy of Music, and he promenades on Union Square with a rose in his buttonhole and a shade of managerial responsibility on his beanteous features. Baten, of the San Francisco /igaro, not content with editing that clever and vivacious little sheet, has joined the noble army of drama- tists. His adaptation of ‘* Michael Strogoff” is soon to be produced at the Lyceum, in this city. “Incotpsny’s” letters in the San Francisco Argonaut are quite a feature of that bright paper.‘ Ingoldsby” is doing a good work in introducing the western public to the gay and festive feuilleton, which he slings with clegance and precision. Mr. WaLLace Gran His health is delicate; and to prepare him for | never found. taking a vacation. | PUCK. the fatigues of the Fall season, when he begins to star in “R-R-R-Remorse,” his physician has prescribed blood-baths Wallace isaccordingly at the Hoboken abattoir, weltering in gore. ‘Tue Lypia THompson brigade of British blondes opens the New York campaign at Wal- lack’s on the 18th, instead of the zoth, as rash contemporaries have announced. ‘ Bluebeard” is the piece in which those shapely extremities will resume the twinkling so dear to us of yore. ‘THe Memphis theatre-goer testifies his appre- ciation of high art by staying at home, unless some extra inducement is offered. When travel- ing companies appear presents are given, and the Memphian procures a free-ticket and at- tends. At midnight, when the performance is over, he takes a silver ice-pitcher to his wife’s sister, and says with gravity: ‘It’s no use buck- ing again the fact, high art pays best in the long run.” Witt, Stuart, of the Graphic, is the Wal- singham,” and the “Saphir,” and the “Walsing- ham-Saphir” of the Washington Capital and the Baltimore Anguirer, which latter is rapidly gaining popularity. Stuart not only writes a very bright and interesting letter, but starts in with this advantage over every masculine col- league—he can handle the fashions with an ease and elegance unrivaled even among the most accomplished “ lady-correspondents.”” MISS JOHNSON’S PLAN. (Boucicaulted from the N.Y. Times.) oo NE of the most striking characteristics of woman is her cheerful perseverance in “SA ooking under the bed fora man. No man in his senses ever looks under the bed for a woman, but there are millions of women in this country who would find it quite impossible to sleep in any bed under which they had not previously searched for a concealed man. Ex- perience is lost upon them. ‘The average un- | married woman of 40 years of age has usually looked under the bed at least 7,500 times, without ever once finding the expected man, but she is not in the least discouraged by so long a course of failure; and it would be casy to find women of 80 or go years who still II Whether she was or was not astonished at per- ceiving a large-sized man lying under the bed with the back of his head toward her, will never be known, but, at any rate, she gave no sign of astonishment, and did not even inform the man that she saw him. On the contrary, she resumed with great deliberation the nocturnal twisting of her back-hair, and even softly hummed, “Nothing but Leaves,” with as much distin ness as could be expected of a woman while holding a comb between her teeth. Her back- hair. being finally finished, she opened her win- dow, turned down the lamp until it gave forth a dim and ‘modest light, and then stepped grace- fully into bed. But not to sleep. ‘That sagacious woman was perfectly well aware that the man under the bed, not suspect- ing that he had been discovered, would creep forth with a view to plunder as soon as he found that she was asleep. ‘The bedstead stood in the corner of the room, and from the position of the man it was plain that he would creep out at the side of the bed. Miss Johnson, therefore, changed her usual manner of composing herself to rest, and lay, as she subsequently expressed it, “flat as a pan-cake,” with her head project- ing over the side of the bed at the precise locality where she expected the man to appear. For at least half an hour she lay perfectly still, watching ‘for the man with a stealthy vigilance that would have done credit to an astute and experienced cat; not a muscle or a hairpin of her frame moving. At length the man, confident that she was asleep, softly began to worm himself from un- der the bed, moving after the manner pre- scribed by way of penalty to the original ser- pent of the Garden of Eden. Little did he imagine that a pair of pitiless gray eyes were waiting for the appearance of his head, while a pair of lithe and nervous hands were ready to pounce upon his ears. It was not many mi- nutes, however, before each ear was suddenly caught in an inexorable grasp, and his head began to oscillate with remarkable speed be- tween the floor and the edge of the bedstead. , Von Moltke himself could not have surpassed Miss Johnson's tactics. She had the man com- pletely at her mercy. At first his captor main- tained a grim silence, but after she had bumped him sufficiently to ease her mind, she addressed him upon the wickedness and folly of seeking to rob her. In vain did the man protest that his motives were innocent; that he had mistaken nightly search for the man whom they have Miss Johnson, of Evanston, will hereafter be | famous 28. woman whose long perseverance has | been signally rewarded, It would be indelicate | to inquire into her pre age, had she not | described herself in a recent affidavit as having been born in the year 1834, and we may there- fore take it for granted that she is at least 43 years old. If we assume that she began to look under the bed at the age of 15, it follows that she has performed that ceremony more than 10,000 times—say, 10,227 times. Until last | Friday night she never found the smallest frag: | ment of a man under her bed, but on that eventful night her perseverance was rewarded, and the long-sought man greeted her astonished gaze. Miss Johnson, being an unmarried lady, not wholly unconnected with the milliner’s trade, | and full of womanly independence, resides en- tirely alone in a small house containing but, three rooms —a kitchen, shop, and bed-room; and the cool bravery with which she locks up her house at night and secks her solitary couch, no matter if a first-class thunder-storm is in progress, has for years been the admiration of the more timid of her sex. It was about 11 o'clock last: Friday night when Miss Johnson stooped down and looked under her bed for a possible man, precisely as the house, and had merely intended to take a quiet nap under his own bedstead, where the flies could not find him. Miss Johnson sternly told him that he could not make hef believe any such nonsense, and that she would ‘let {him know,” and would also ‘show him.” ‘These threats were carried out by a renewal of the bumping process, until the man yelled for mercy so loudly that the neighbors were aroused. and rushed to Miss Johnson's house. And then, and then only, did that excellent woman sur- render her victim, ‘Thus did Miss Johnson not only defend her- self with the most signal success; but she pointed out the true way to deal with a man under the bed. Most women would have tried to poke the man out with a broom, at the same time re- questing him to “shoo.” And if the man’s ed- ucation had been neglected, and he had not known how to “shoo,” or if, knowing how to “shoo,” he had wantonly and deliberately re- fused to “shoo"—if, in short, from any cause whatever, he had not ‘‘shoo"ed, the results might have been disastrous. But Miss John- son’s plan, besides having the advantage of nov- elty, places a man under the bed entirely at the ‘mercy of a cool and courageous woman; and those women who may at any time .here- after find a man under their respective beds will do well to imitate her example,.and share | she had done on ten thousand previous nights. her well-earned glory. comicbooks.com