Puck — August 1, 1877 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. “PUCK", No. 13 North William Street, New York FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terms To Susscrinens. One Copy ove year, or 52 numbers... One Copy, six months, or 26 numbers. One Copy for thirteen weeks... Postace Free. Notice to Authors and Artiste. Literary and artistic contributions are solicited. Address all manu- scripts and sketches to Editor “Puck”, 13 North William St, New York. PUCK’S CARTOONS. THE. RAILROAD TO RUIN. Some of the events of the last week read like a chapter in the French Revolution. The bloody struggles which have taken place in Pittsburgh, Chicago, Baltimore, Reading, and other places, are a lasting disgrace to those who took part in or were in sympathy with the out- break. After all it was but a nine days reign of terror, and the object for which the van- dalism and murder took place was not achieved. Wages are not to be increased by howling, murdering mobs in arms, who have only suc- ceeded in violently setting class against class, | although Puck is no friend to railway mono- polists, and is of opinion that to some extent they are responsible for the unsettled state of the country by their gross mismanagement of the property in their hands. ‘On rolls the demon of destruction and death, directed by human fiends, crushing in its progress scores of innocent people in a fruitless endeavor to change the course of the natural laws of supply and demand. Packerings. « Puck is doing something for the cause of temperance, too. It says, ‘the best way to keep people sober is to let them drink as often as they please.’ We now have an ex. planation why Puck wears no clothing save a pigeon-tail coat and a silk hat. ‘The money that should have been spent in a vest, trowsers, shirt, boots, etc., was expended for beer. ‘ Reform is necessary.” —Norristown Herald, Puck doesn’t spend all his money in beer and thus deprive himself of clothes, but believes beauty unadorned is adorned the most. If his witty contemporary can boast of as shapely a form as Puck, he ought at once adopt the cool and becoming costume, and he may rest assured that he will never be twitted by Puck on his limited wardrobe. Two life insurance companies have given notice that no citizen-soldier’s life-policy will be invalidated by his being ordered on active military service to protect life and property. This is very liberal of these insurance com- panies; but Puck thinks, in view of the number of rotten concerns whose officers have taken all the premiums they could scoop in, and have stuck to them, that it might be as well for the confiding and ostensibly-insured citizen-soldier to learn that if he gets killed and doesn’t in- validate his policy, whether his policy itself, or his family, is likely to obtain anything at all. The Charter Oak, Guardian, and Universal companies may perhaps have something to say on the subject. Arise, ye appropriately-termed Assurance Companies, and explain. Tue major portion of the strike is over; but the miner has only just begun. A ptace has been found where they.live on a dollar a day; but it is,Namucket, Mass. And now the avérage working-man is endeavoring to decide whether he will go to Nantucket, or try to get a. little more: rollickitig Enjoyment and hilarious dissipation by settling down in a thickly populated Potter's Field. ‘Tuere was a whirr and a fizz, and a buzz and whizz, and then there were two or three whirrs more, and several additional fizzes and buzzes and whizzes, and he thought he was in a saw-mill, and the saw-dust was climbing up his back and skirmishing down his shirt-front, and then he thought he was speaking to the fore- man, who was mad; but he would persist in arguing with the foreman until he got slapped in the eye, and then he woke up and found himself surrounded by a thousand flies, basking in the sunlight on his nose, and the one fly he thought he had killed wasn’t killed, but his head was sore. Now he’s going to steep ina netting, and have a nigger by to fan him when he wakes up in the morning. ‘THere is not,” wrote the editor of the Deadwood Daily Champion, “a quieter, more peaceful, well-regulated, and orderly com: | munity in the whole Western country.” And then, as the oftice-boy entered to say that some- body wanted to see him, he took his bowie between his teeth, put a Colt’s new pattern seven-shooter on the desk in front of him, and said: “ Jim, get out another coffin—plain pine one, this time—and let the son of a gun i Wue the compositors in the IVitness office meekly and hesitatingly send a deputation to the proprietor to mildly hint that they find some slight difficulty in working three months on one week's pay, and an unlimited number of evangelical I. O. U.’s, and that a small amount of hard-cash would better enable them to support their families, the truly-good dis- penser of Gospel-truths swings round in_ his chair, and with an expression of horror and as- tonishment, says that he is truly shocked to see them so ready to back-slide from grace, and that he fears they are but feeble- minded work- ers in the vineyard. And then he tells the editor to pass round the hat. Ir isn’t from any narrow feeling, of national exclusiveness that we object to the Colorado beetle going abroad and getting receptions at Cologne and Dublin and elsewhere. But he is not in all respects an agreeable member of society, and to have him coming back here ha single-barreled glass screwed in one eye, prefacing all his remarks with “When I was in Yurrup,” and talking of the immense inferiority of Cincinnati to Paree, will be more than we can stand, Tue Sun recently announced that the widow Van Cott had nearly lost her voice, and ever since it is wonderful to note how many men are trying to induce their wives to take an active interest in the cause of temperance. We think we are justified in saying that we have got through the season when the modest and retiring railroad employé comes forward with his little memorandum of proposed changes in our social system, and delicately intimates that if this his reasonable demand is not imme- diately complied with, it will be quite out of his power to prevent anarchy and ruin waving their Afrite wings over the ruin of western civili- zation. Tue Rev. W. H. H. Murray says. the dlack fly of ‘the Adirondacks is *‘a quiet, orderly little. fellow, a hard worker, who goes steadily about his business, and earns his Jiving*by’constant application.” Now the remarks of the black fly of the Adirondacks of the Rev. W. H. H. Murray are in order. > Look out for‘ Puck’s Theatrical Portraits.” A Bripceporr doctor is trying to cure a wo. man of a queer.habit of eating castile soap. She Ought to swallow the family washing, and copious draughts of water. It would save much confusion and annoyance on washing-day. We. have the following illustration of a pun on Kars—taking cars, you knowwhich’ we will dispose of at a reasonable rate to rural ex- changes who are just about striking Erzeroum witticisms. It covers the entire groun Answers for the Anvious. D. D. R.—Of course she loves you, if she offers you the reversion of her chewing-gum, and makes you im- bibe her lemonade through her own straws, But we don't want to take the responsibility of advising you. gerous. The position of a mutual friend is She might fall in love with us, and come the chewing-gum business on the editorial mo- No; take some older, graver man, of less personal attractions. Consult with Mr. Dana—Chas. A. Dana, Sun office. V.W. L.—No, you don't mean it! Really? Dovcias.—It was we whom she meant. CaRcanet.—Many thanks for your contribution. But what did you mean us to do with it? You certainly didn't expect we would publish it, and we don’t believe you wanted it inserted at advertising rates. It was very kind in you, but we don’t see the exact utility of it, ‘Thesvis.— When was Edwin Booth born?” We have communicated with Mr. Booth, who says that al- though he was present on the occasion referred to, he was very young at the time, and he does not remember much about it. He thinks, however, that it was about four o'clock in the afternoon. CurRENcY.—Pvck thanks you for your kindly notice. He regrets that you should suffer so much from hard times yourself as to be unable to realize that so young a paper as PUCK should have already attained such a large circulation, and established itself on so firm a basis However, before you finally succumb completely to your present financial pressure, let Puck know, and he will prepare an obituary that will doyou justice, to be inserted among his Puckerings. WorkincMax.—Wait until your hour is ripe. To tackle a green, immature hour is about as unsafe a thing asa man can do this season of the year. comicbooks.com