Puck — July 25, 1877 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. One day last’ week, a tired-looking man, with the smell of the swamp upon his garments, came sneaking into Tallahassee with the returns of the backest county in Florida. ‘They gave the State.to Buchanan and Breckinridge by an ove ning tnajority.— Burkington Hawkeye. Dr. ScHLIEMANN sold groceries for twenty years, and thinks that, he not been a gro- cer, he could not have succeeded in his discov- eries, This is undoubtedly true. Putting five pints of molasses in a two-quart pail develops a man’s ingenuity in the highest degree.—Dan- bury News, Mr. Bret Harte’s name was recently at- tached to astory which he did not write, and he sends a letter to’ 7e ation, of Washington, in which he says sweetly and gently: “It isa small matter, but as I observe that the careless practice of signing other people's names to checks and drawing the money therefrom ap- pears to be steadily growing into, disfavor in commercial circles, it seems to me that the placing of an author’s name, without his con- sent, to an article not written by him, should be practiced under some sort of restraint, and only with the greatest delicacy. 1 should, if I were you, proceed cautiously in any comments | you might make; attributing my disinclin to part with my name to that universal human weakness which extends to a desirable control of one’s wardrobe and toilet articles, and even cast-off clothing.” a “(Ip yer goin’ to smoke on this car,.yer'll have to get off to do it,” remarked a zealous. conductor yesterday. ‘Les’ see yer put me off,” was the ready reply, as the smoker jumped from the car, and assumed a belligerent atti- tude.—Richmond Enguirer. ; AT a juvenile lyceum, convened on a street corner last evening, the question, “Is it legi- timate sport to attach tinware to a muzzled dog’s tail?” was freely discussed, but no definite conclusion was reached--and muzzled dogs want to leave their tails at home until thy matter is settled.— Norristown Herald. “Tr you are stung by a wasp wi.ile picknick- ing,” says a floating item, ‘‘ apply the end of a cigar which has been chewed fora few moments to the wound.” Young ladies should remember this, and always chew the end of a cigar a few moments and place the ‘‘weed” in their pockets, before starting on a picnic. ‘The chewing pro- cess will make them so sick that they will not want to go to the picnic, and thus they will es- cape being stung by a wasp.— Wilhams Herald A REMARKABLE book has appeared in Ger- many entitled: “ Of the Rare Art of Prolonging Life till 115 years.” Great efforts are being made to keep this book out of the hands of Geo. Francis Train and Sergeant Bates. — Norristown Herald, Wuar is the difference between a plucked goose and an orphan? Merely the difference of one letter, you see. One is featherless and the other is fatherless,— Williams. Sue was very particular, and when the dealer informed her that all the ice was gathered winter before last, she wouldn't give him her order. She said he ‘couldn’t palm off his stale ice on her.—Xichmond Enquirer. Tue reason for a day-laborer dropping his tools with such accuracy when the clock strikes twelve, and his rapid speed.towards dinner, is that he may make up the time he will lose in getting back to work.—Oif City Call. Ir is remarked of Newark young men now-a- days that they show a decided determination to stand by the churches—particularly at the hour when the girls are coming out to be escorted home.—Mewark Call, A Dustin woman came very near having a flush. She had for of one color.—aston Free Press. Tue small girl with seventeen hundred but- tons on a string seems to be dead.— Camden Post. A Punic reader says that when he begins to declaim the stirring piece commencing, “ Strike the lyre!” the effect of the first sentence on some of his hearers can only be compared to what follows the cry of ‘Low bridge,” on-a canal-boat.— Stamford Advocate. . “Looxinc Grass,” the bold warrior chief, it is suggested, should be brought to Washington and placed in the Indian Bureau.— Philadelphia Bulletin. “Tur. smallest worm will turn”—and so will the organ-grinder.— Worcester Press. And so will the the politician and the sinner.—Rich- mond Enquirer, So will milk in weather like this. A Man never so forcibly feels the inconve- nience of being under-sized until his wife in- forms him that if he had been two inches taller his old pants would have made two new pairs for his son.— Whitehall Times, A Bur.incton preacher, discoursing about Peter'and Paul, remarked a.few days since that they were a ‘good pair.” Without opening his eyes, the deacon in the first pew. remarked, “Take the pot; ace-high is all I’ve got.” (This item beass the unmistakable trade-mark of the Burlington humorist.) fue fashion writers say tHfat gentlemen's suits must be made from one piece. Now will they tell us where to find the piece?—Xhinedbeck Gasette. Syracuse has a cartman by the name of Faith. Let's see—Faith — Faith—seems_ as though that name was familiar; oh, yes—he's the one that moves mountains.— Fulton Times. A-New York paper speaks of a well known restaurant keeper as an “austere. studiousman,”” You should have called him an oyster. stew- dious man.— Philadelphia Bulletin, AN old lady wants to know what is meant by ‘¢mean time.” Our watch keeps it. Rockland Courier. 2 “Base is the slave that pays.” Our creditors are asked to observe the poetic beauty of the foregoing line. Shakespeare was no slouch.— Turner's Falls Reporter. are Lay re Bale : R ary -* wn | dire A ' ¢ Walk: Teasant Mi comicbooks.com