Puck — July 18, 1877 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. AN adventures named Mabel Carter, accuses a Pittsburgh journalist of haying stolen her kid gaiters. .We> dislike. to See a newspaper-man i barefoot, and yet we hope that that be mnalist did’ not steal. those gaiters. “Such a” ne "would be. worse, if anything, than - going” barefoot.— Norristown Herald e Tr was reported yesterday that there was a enuine English nightingale in the hills near the ah, says the Virginia Chronic/e, and as soon as Jim Orndorff heard it he rushed off, and, mounting his trusty charger, sallied forth with his rifle and dogs. _He returned late at night, remarking that he hadn't run across the beast, but he'd struck some fresh tracks, and guessed it was a big one. ‘THEese fine evenings lovers sit on stoops to ‘conquer,— Exchange. And do they make love to,Goldsmith Maids? Eacu day in turn serves to dissipate, one by one, the superstitions of antiquity, but there isn’t enough time marked down on the calendar to suffice to wean a boy from the practice of spitting on his bait before he attempts to catch any fish.— Fulton Times. Some news editors are very impolite. One of them, in a morning paper, heads an article, “Sallies out of Kars.” As long as he is a per- fect stranger to these foreign Ladies, he might have at least been respectful enough to have written, ‘ Sarahs or Susans out of Kars.” Call- ing a young lady by a nickname is very impo- lite.— Phil. Bulletin, “ ENCOURAGE the young poet."—Zx. Yes, encourage him. We wrote poetry once our- selves, but we were not encouraged. When we submitted a fourteen-page poem to a publisher, he said the measure was defective. We offered to write ten more pages and give him: full measure, without extra charge, but he didn’t encourage us. He said many of the lines lacked the requisite number of feet, and we proposed to scratch off seventeen more feet of the stuff on the spot, so that he might add a foot here and there, where it would do the most good, but he didn’t encourage us. He made a motion to put a foot where it wouldn’t do us any good, and we went away from there without making any further propositions. Something told us that it would be unhealthy to. linger around there any longer. But we subsequently sold our poem. We got two cents a pound for it, and the purchaser didn’t grumble about a lack of “measure” or “‘feet"’ either. He seemed to appreciate the production; but the careless manner in which he jammed it into an old bag was not calculated to encourage a young poet. —WNorristown Herald. A WAR CORRESPONDENT, writing from Trebi- zonde, says that the Armenian is the meanest man on the face of the earth, but unless that man at Collinsville, Massachusetts, who sold a cow to a widow, and before delivering the ani- mal took off the brass horn-tips, worth six oents, is an Armenian, the correspondent is mistaken. —Courier-Journal. One serious drawback to a country editor’s enjoyment in society is the embarrassment he experiences in being questioned by some of the company as to “who put that contemptible article in last week's paper?” and the knowledge that, although it bore every appearance of being acontribution, there is a growing impression that he wrote it himself.— Danbury News. Witt somebody explain why the elephant that has been as docile as a warm pancake through the whole winter will rise up like an infuriated mother-in-law about the time the circus-tent sprouts, and refuse to be comforted : THE ment is in a state of grave per- lexity, and President Hayes never slept a wink fast might thinking about it. © West Point has just graduated another class of officers, and it is just going to gravel the administration the worst way to divide up the private soldiers in the army, so as'to give one or two of them to each of the officers for a command.—Norris- town Herald. : You'’p better give it up. Turning your ther- mometer upside down and allowing the. mer- cury to crawl up to the “below-zero” mark will not make the weather any cooler.— Phil. Bulletin. A PUNCH-BowL: which once belonged to Robert Burns was sold at Dumfries the other day for two guineas. Mr. Burns wrote poetry, but he was not the author of the sweet lines as to the advisability of punching with care.— Rochester Democrat. “© Atone with my Conscience,” is the title of anew poem. It furnishes evidence that con- science niust have been asleep, or is not a good judge of poetry.— Pittsburgh Dispatch. [We clip this because it sounds funny, but we do not know what it means.—Ep. Puck.] Ewplish Patent te the Pa) Bale ser ANAK: ‘Tue funny man of the Fult@n Zimes has been there, and he says, “‘ Nothing will so emphati- cally grab a man by remembrance’s coat-collar, and haul him’ back to childhood’s time, as to suddenly come upon a half-dressed youth nest- ling behind the rushes on the edge of a swim- ming-pond, sadly chewing the knots out of his shirt-sleeves,” AND now a lie comes along that there’s'a woman in New Bedford sixty-two years old that never used a hair-pin inher life. That story might do for some, but we'd like to know what she holds in her. mouth while Combing her hair, if she don’t have hair-pins.— Bridgeport Stand- ard, “OH, DEAR,” said she, sweeping away with her broom, ‘‘what shall I do? Here it. is eleven o'clock and I haven’t this room swept, the beds are not made, and the breakfast-dishes are yet.to. be washed. Oh, dear, was ever woman so much pressed for time as 1am!” Then «she suddenly stopped, leaned on her broom, and listened for a half-hour trying to catch the points of a quarrel which was going on between a married couple in the next-door house. The study of feminine character is a | hard one.— Phil, Bulletin. LZ wa S Gi (ee until he is shot 400 times and gets a half-column y Veasan’ notice in the New York papers?—Brookville © Jeffersonian, Niuean wer tuke ‘send by mail to any point within the United States a Palmo Sun Shade on receipto! $1.50. The Puck Publishing comicbooks.com