Puck — June 1877 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. “PUCK”, No. 13 North William Street, New York FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terms To Sunscripers. One Copy one year, or 52 numbers... Notice to Authors and Artists. Literary and artistic contributions are solicited. Address all manu- scripts and sketches to Editor Puck”, 13 North Wilham Se, « | PUCK’S CARTOONS. THE THREATENED SILVER FLOOD. Neptune Sherman is represented pouring out such a flood of silver dollars, that Credit stands a very good chance of being swamped, unprov- ided as she is with Boyton’s life-preserving dress. Asa Secretary of the Treasury, Sherman is not a success; he seems entirely out of his element, although he is anxious to distinguish himself in his new office. All the schemes and projects for the management of our finances are supposed to have but one end in view, viz: the resumption of specie payments, and the best way to begin this is to withdraw the super- fluous greenbacks, and offer long bonds at a low rate of interest in exchange for them. Hoarding heaps of gold and flooding the country with silver will do the business neither speedily nor satisfactorily. w York, THE TAMMANY CHIEF AND HIS DANCING BEAR. The comparative lull in National and State litics has been varied by the recent semi-pub- lic entertainment of some distinguished Demo- crats—the ill-treated Tilden and Hendricks, and Governor Lucius Robinson. It is of Lucius only we would speak, and at the same time would caution him aguinst becoming the tool of Mr. John Kelly, influence with Mayor Ely that the latter may be guided by the benign und unselfish influence of ‘Tammany in making appointments. Neither man is exactly after Autocrat Kelly’s own heart, but circumstances compel him to ac- cept them. Governor Robinson dances very well to Kelly’s music—but he’s not the man we took him for if he allows himself to be dictated to and played upon by Tammany, and cuts all the capers that the arrogant Indian piper may desire. Ben Butter pauses for a moment, to let the gore drip off him. “ Aunts and mothers-in-law have their value, after all,” remarks an exchange. Yes; but like everything else, their value is relative. “FartH” is the modest name of a hamlet among the New Hampshire hills. It must be a good place for a man to live up to. A Georcia colored man has just traded off his farm of sixty acres for a lot of chickens, ducks and turkeys. It seems strange he should have parted with his homestead for such a poul- try consideration as that. We hear that the St. Louis $chool Boa® has abolished Girls’ Commencements. Well, per- haps St. Louis can do without girls—from downwards they’ve always been a nuisance— boys begin bad enough, and often end worse. 0 wants the Governor to use his | | TELEPHONOGRAMS. LATEST FROM THE SEAT OF WAR. FROM ‘ PUCK’S’ SPECIAL ARTIST-CORRESPONDENT. ‘Turco-Russian Camp, My heart bleeds for Nicsic. Of all the much- nomenclatured places at the seat of war, this is the most unfortunate. Would you believe that it has not yet been re-victualed? Since the struggle commenced, Nicsic has cried for vic- tuals, but in vain. Please interest the Bos- tonians in this matter and get them to send on at once some baked pork and beans to the Nicsickites. P. S.A whole cargo of shrimps has just arrived.—Nicsic re-victualed at last ! I breathe again. The Herald correspondent at Tobolsk, Si- beria, attempted, single-handed, to capture a Turkish ironclad at Lakesoskigeorgi. He was blown to atoms by a well-directed split-pea from an eight-ton gun in the hands and pistol- pocket of Hobart Pasha. His limbs are con- siderably scattered, and the Czar heads an ex- pedition to look for the right leg. When the Herald man has collected all the pieces of him- self, and is again hung together, he will resume his enterprising correspondence, asy he says, it is awkward wnting without a head. : 1 p.m. ‘The Russians have crossed the Danube. 2p. m. ‘The Muscovites haven't crossed the Danube. Spm. ‘The Czar’s troops will cross the Danube. . M. ‘The troops of the Emperor af Russia won't cross the Danube. Spm. The armies of Russia will cross the Danube, if they can. 6p. m. ‘The Russian’ forces won't, if they can’t. 7 po me ‘The Russian troops will positively be on the other side of the Danube next week. & p. m. ‘The soldiers of Russia will cross the Danube the day after the middle of next yesterday week. 9p. m. ‘The Northern Barbarians won’t have crossed the Danube until they think about it. Q 10 p.m, The Danube can do without them. Puckerings. EPAMINONDAS was a great man, and Poca- hontas did her duty in irreproachable style; but it is to sing the praises of the summer board advertiser, whose farm is not within two minutes walk of the railway station, that Puck tunes | his lyre. Ir was all very well for little Johnny Burke, of Hester Street, to hold that early fire-cracker in his teeth, last Monday, but unless they cele- brate Fourth of July in heaven he has missed that interesting and well-founded institution this year. ‘Ine dairies are blossoming out again along Broadway and Nassau street; but the same old inexorable and implacable fate is waiting at the portal to direct the hungry editor’s steps to the table presided over by the cross-eyed girl with a wart on her chin, ‘THERE are Chattertons in the world of to- day; and the tragedy of life throws its pall over us even in childhood’s earliest hour; but there is no instance on record of a young man committing suicide on the same day that his summer suit came home. Ir was midnight in Union Square, and he thus addressed his summer straw hat, which had fallen. off: “Now, look—hic—ahere, ol” fel’, if I picksh you up—hic—I'Nl fall, tha’s su IfT fall—hic—you won’ pick me up—no, sh Guesh I'll leave you—hic—don’ wont to talk to fel’ like you—Aiean’how!” Horatio Seymour still lives, and is to deliver a Fourth of July oration in Oncida,N.Y. We trust the honorable gentleman will, with char- acteristic prudence, avoid committing himself as to the merits of the late little unpleasantness with our British cousins. It might create bad feeling, if he expressed any decided opinion. An exchange tells us that John G. Saxe, when writing, sits with his chair tipped back and his feet braced against some object. Quite correct. President Hayes always writes with his head in a bucket of water, with his left elbow resting on his big toe. Anna Dickinson invariably com- poses in a recumbent position, with striped stockings and a crown of thorns on each ankle, and carries her ink-bottle in her right ear. G. W. Childs can’t get inspiration for his obi- tuaries unless placed in a coffin hermetic: sealed, with a copy of the Sun for a pillow. W: liam M. Evarts writes in a balloon with a horse- brush on blue blankets, and uses Stockholm tar in preference to ink, Wuart is the matter with the clergymen? ‘The profession, by and_by, will become syno- nymous with all that is naughty. Now the Rev. S. H. McGhee, of Dixon, Ill., has only been convicted of poisoning his wife, and is to have fourteen years of penitentiary for his pains. He—poor fellow—wanted to marry a young lady parishioner, having tired of his better-half. Then the Rev. E. D. Hopkins, of St. Johnsbury, Vermont, has had five indict- ments found against him by the grand jurv — two for forgery, and three for the misappropria- tion of moneys. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to establish a jail for delinquent pastors, and to make Beecher chaplain, with privilege of preach- ing in Plymouth Church on Sundays; and the other inmates could hold services daily. ‘Then people could go to jail, instead of to church, which in many cases would do them much more good. comicbooks.com