Puck — May 1877 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. “PUCK”, No. 13 North William Street, New York FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terms To Supscriners. One Copy one year, or s2 numbers... One Copy, six months, or 26 numbers. One Copy for thirteen weeks. Postace Fare. Notices to Authors and Artists. | Literary and artistic contributions are solicited. Address all manu. | scripts and sketches to Editor “Puck”, 13 North Witham St, New York. PUCK’S CARTOONS. THE TROUBLE IN THE EAST. Our artist-correspondent, armed cap-a-pié, is off to the seat of war, although, in case there should not be room on it, he takes a camp-stool with him, and various other indispensable ne- cessities, to while away the weary hours. The readers of Puck will await with anxiety the ar- rival of his sketches and letters, which will doubtless excite both wonder and comment; and as for his maps—well out of respect to the feelings of our contemporaries we'll say nothing about them. All will be transmitted to us by electroscope and telephone. Puck, by this bold stroke, exceeds in enterprise even the New York Herald. ‘THE MODERN ST. GEORGE. Sr. Georce and fabled dragon are as fami- liar in our mouths as “ household words.” The knight, the patron saint of England, is still in- voked there as a war-cry, and although we Americans do not use him for this purpose, he is so bound up in the English language and traditions, that it is impossible to ignore his mythical achievements. As became a doughty warrior, he went forth doing all sorts of terrible and impossible things, righting wrongs, and, | pethaps, in some instances, wronging rights. Our St. George is President Hayes, who delivers suffering Louisiana from the monster Misrule, e’en as the Emperor Diocletian's daughter Aja was rescued from the dragon by the legendary Cappadocian princely knight St. George. SKETCHES OF THE DAY. Wuat an unselfish champion of freedom is | the Czar, the Emperor of all the Russias!. He cries “havoc,” and lets slip the dogs of war | on the Turk for his cruelty and oppression, quite | ignoring the fact that poor Poland is and has | been lying for years bleeding, crushed and op- pressed at his feet. 8 ‘eis THE bowstring and the bastinado are not | things of the past in the dominions of the Com- | mander of the Faithful. The flogging of a general for ill-success in the field is quite within | the possibilities of the future, under the govern- | ment of the Crescent, as spiritedly depicted by | our artist. 2 * “Every dog has his day,” but the strong arm of the law will make this adage ‘a delusion and a snare” for man’s best hydrophobic friend, Resident dogs must now be collared, or they'll be collared, locusted, or bulleted by licensed | canine-catchers. Our artist throws out a sug- | gestion for adoption by the visiting dog on his summer travels that he may be saved from any | such disagreeable experiences. * . * “Tramp, tramp, tramp, the boys are march- | ing.” So they are, to the anguish of farmers and country-residents; some of whom, however, | you. They'll take a fence. What bootjacks it, | are preparing to give them a warm reception. The tramp is as great a nuisance as is the grass- hopper qut West. Unlike Tweed’s old pals, they fear not exposure, in spite of the tattered condition of their habiliments. But it is an ill wind that blows nobody good, and as the ther- mometer‘urges on its wild career up the tube, New York city gets rid of the bad rubbish for a time. Purkerings. Ir is about time for the papers to start again on her paragraphic rounds that phenomenal female who supports two aged parents, runs a farm of one hundred acres, picks three hun- dred and fifty-two bushels of potatoes in one day, and has an average of five offers of mar- | riage per week. She always comes on in spring, along with the wild man of the woods, the fel- | low who swallowed a billiard-ball, and the girl with a frog in her stomach, | It was 8 to 7 that preserved the peace on this side of the Atlantic; which explains the present demand in war- like Europe for American Auit.—Commercial Advertiser. Huit tumble. Now if any one else wants to | collabor8 on this joke, he may douze so. | Why this paragraphic war upon cats? It is pussy- laminous.— Buffalo Express. It’s only for a-mews-ment you know; not from any desire to wound their felines.— Commercial Advertiser. Next thing you'll have all the catsup tomartyr | anyway? | To sufferers from bronchial complaints: The World of last Sunday has this invaluable bit of | advice: “+ Chests, before putting your winter things away, should be washed out with a weak solution of car-bolic acid.” | On the same principle, consumptives might sponge out their lungs with a little diluted Cro- ; ton oil, before they assume summer attire. | . | Bismarck claims to be the only man in Eu- rope who can bite his own eyebrows, But thi: is clearly only a weak attempt to attract Bar- | num’s attention. Mrs. Ann Ametta Wuitty, of Brooklyn, has got a divorce from her husband, because she detected in him a tendency to ‘‘servantgalism.” He was Whitty, but not wise. And he ought not to do whitty ’gain. | Mrs. Partincton wishes to facilitate Mr. Hayes on his extemporate policy toward the South, She could not have resignated a better | man for his place, and only regrets that he was | not made precedent by a derisive vote last fall. | | ‘Tue paragrapher’s golden crown of glory is sesereedl font tatoho bas had the cottage | to abstain from making a joke on Miss Kate | Claxton and her conflagrational experiences. | Tue 23rd was Shakspeare’s birthday. He was 313 years old. A Man in Virginia, who hasn’t drunk any- thing but water for thirty-six years, is going the rounds of the papers and being puffed for his abstemiousness; but we don’t think he’s worth any more praise for thirty-six years than he | would be for six. ‘It’s the first year or two that you have to fight hardest against, and if the wily cocktail doesn’t steal upon you during | that time, you can keep on drinking water for years after and not mind it a bit: wnia. ALonc with the news of comets slashing about the stars, portentous of at events, comes the information that Gen. Butler is pre- paring a speech on the greenback question. ‘Tue Toledo Blade suggests an innovation on time by having the hours numbered from 1 to 24. We can imagine how Mrs. Jones’ anger must rise while looking at the clock and saying to herself: ‘‘Sixteen o'clock in the morning, and Jones not home yet !”" Dramatic criticism is cultivated in Califor- This is what the San Francisco Wasp says of Mrs. Belmont: ‘This lady performs her share of the daring acts with a graceful dash which commends her to the audience as being an unexceptionably brave woman, yet possessing all the grace and dignity of true womanhood. We must not forget to state that Mrs. Bel- mont’s line is the flying trapeze. It has been stated that there is liability to moonstroke by sleeping in the full moonlight. Moonlight wasn’t made to sleep in, We never do it. In Central Park, when pale Luna smiles | upon us on a balmy summer-night, with our dexter arm wound round the delicately-corseted | waist of our Jemima Ann, we are quite wide- awake, and we breathe soft nothings in her beautiful ear with a wart two inches below it. At the dinner to the Grand Dukes at the White House, Jenkins reports that the leather- seated chairs were removed, and rush ’uns sub- stituted. Berore the Kings County Supervisors’ Com- mittee, Storms was in contempt. Old Indicator has been requested to take him in hand. A tosster died in the Aquarium the other day, worth $3000. We never knew they were so valuable, but now we can understand why fashionable restaurants have to charge so higha price for lobster-salad. Ir the Turks permit him, the Czar will go as far as the Bal-kan range. BoarDINnG-HOUSE keepers at the seat of war are in a high state of excitement, because of their interest in Room-mania. In New Jersey, when a man who hasn’t any money commits a murder, they “swing” him. In this high-toned Metropolis they would only “legally asphyxiate” him. Who wouldn't live in New York? SCHOOL-TEACHERS are beginning to look for- ward to giving up their vocations for their va- cations, WE have no objection to the San Francisco Argonaut reprinting seven or eight columns of matter from Puck every week; but if it could manage to give credit for one article out of every fifteen, we should feel so much happier. A GOLD earring in the shape of a ladder is the latest novelty in jewelry.— Fashion Notes. Adapted for every climb-it, One of the triumphs of the country para- gtaphist is achieved, when he succeeds by means of a few amusing items at the head of his column, in luring us on to reading an ad- vertisement of somebody’s best family soap.