Puck — May 1877 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. A HARD-HEARTED policeman gathered in David Nihil the other night. Of course it ‘amounted to nothing.—Baltimore Gazette. That's what Goliath said about another David, but Nihil fit.— Richmond Enquirer. Tuis is the Burlington Hawéeye's little dig at a_much-persecuted ‘class: ‘A man on West Hill died last week, leaving considerable pro- perty, one-half of which he left to three needy and deserving young lawyers to enable them to get the other half.” “A pious hen crawled into a Methodist church in Jefferson City, Mo., a week ago Sunday, and laid an egg in the contribution- box,” says an exchange; and the Boston Com- mercial Bulletin thinks it shows the importance of encouraging the lay members to shell out. Puiu SHERIDAN, the Rochester Democrat tells us, absents himself from the house a little too often just now. The other hight the nurse was asleep, and Mrs. Sheridan, who needed something, remarked in a melancholy tone, ‘And Philip, as usual, several miles away.” * Jos,” breaks out the Cincinnati Saturday Light, “ seems to have been a fellow of infinite tumor.” Hayes should hesitate before he visits his relatives in New England. Country cousins are terrible in getting even, and all next Winter there will be a poke-bonnet or a last-century’s hat sticking out of every window in the White House.— Evening Telegram. ‘THe Boston’ Fost congratulates the Venus of Milo on being able to crook her elbow. Yonxers hasa cardinal-red_street-sprinkler, and the Gasetfe says all it wants is a piece of striped hose to render it A la mode. Ricuarp Grant-Wuirte says that ‘“ heigh- ho,” as an expression of weariness, isnot author- ized, and has nothing in it; and the observant Norwich Bulletin comments thus: ‘ No man, however, who has been out on a windy day, will deny that there is a good deal in high hose.” “Texas is developing anew Joaquin Miller,” we learn from the World, ‘‘a bard who has hitherto been connected with the cattle indus- try—in fine, a poet-lariat. Wuom does the Buffalo Express refer to, when it says: ‘There are those who might summer at Salt River with comfort, not to speak of propriety ?” Mr. Cartyte alludes to the “ unspeakable Turk,” who isn’t half so irritating as the unpro- nounceable Russian.— Graphic. Aw old disciple of Isaak Walton, according to the ungallant Norristown Hera/d, says ladies will never make good: anglers until they over- come their prejudices against holding fish worms in their mouths. Ir has been decided that children cannot turn their stepmothers out of the house. Which leads the Philadelphia Chronicle to say that this isa step towards encouraging young girls to marry bald-headed widowers, Tue Easton Free Press is waiting now for the obituary of the youthful idiot who gives to- bacco to the early circus elephant. ‘Tue season has reached Fulton. So we judge from an item in the Zimes, which informs us that “ Croquet, and flesh-colored stockings with a little streak running up the sides, have ap- peared on the lawns in front of Fulton’s fash- ionable residences.”* *Luncu, Grant, lunch, but lunch with care.” pines remark is from the wicked Fat Contri- lor. ‘Tue sage of the Bridgeport Standard has been making observations, and announces: “The surest sign in the world that they are married is when they enter some public place and she reaches up and pulls down his coat col- lar, instead of leaning back and picking out soft smiles to throw at him.” “THe Duke of Edinburgh is regarded as the happiest of men. He commands a big iron- clad, and will shortly be able to fire the biggest sort of bomb-shells right. into his mother-in- law’s house.” ‘Thus does the paragrapher of the Brooklyn Hage give himself away for a married man. Here is a bit of fashionable intelligence from the Kansas City Zimes: “The daughter of Mr. Proddy, of Twelfth street, has returned to her father’s house from a visit East, and oh how many fond and foolish boys rejoice over that Proddy gal’s return.” In olden times the crowning glory of a woman was her hair, and it is hirsute now.—Fat Con- tributor. Cavatry find it impossible to cross the Danube above Widdin. Can't take the ’Or- sova, you see.— Graphic War Punster. Evo Lent te the ay DY Btasant Walk- JENNIE JUNE says that the Zedger has greatly fallen off in circulation, and she concludes that all the girls in the country have got through asking Bonner if it is *‘toney” to sit on a tel- low’s knee at a candy-pull. ‘THE Baffalo Express takes this discouraging peep into futurity: “Prof. George Coleman, of Philadelphia, intends making a voyage to Europe in a hot-air balloon, in July. ‘The Pro- fessor is a comparatively young man, possessed of a thoroughly scientific turn of mind, and endowed with rich social qualities; he has ever beea esteemed. by all who knew hifh as an ex- emplary father and a faithful student. He will leave a wife and four children to mourn his un- timely end.” The Easton Free Press puts it thus: “The man who will lend his umbrella to an unknown applicant, with the expectation of having it promptly returned, is the least evoluted of the descendants of Balaam’s distinguished lin- guist.”” ‘Arter all,” philosophizes the Boston Zran- script, “telling the naked truth is the only nude departure that is going to bring on the political | milennium.” Puel Ffice => SUS SZ a a opuhe Naties as ‘The Puck Publishing Co. send by mail to any point within the United States a Palmo Sun Shade on receipt of $1.50. comicbooks.com