Puck — April 1877 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“PUCK”, No. 13 North William Street, New York Terms To Sunscripers. Ove Copy one year, or 52 numbers... One Copy, six months, or 26 numbers. One Copy tor thineen weela...eecsesssccssus Postrace Fas. Notice to Authors and Artists. Literary and artistic contributions are solicited. Address all manu- scripts and sketches to Editor “ Puck”, 13 North Witham Se w York, PUCK’S CARTOONS. THE PROGRESS OF CIVILIZATION. So let it be! ‘The Kurd’s destructive blade Already crosses on the Cossack’s lance, And crowds are hurrying to the deathly dance From distant valley ‘and from neighboring glade. “ At last"—the Russian speaks —“ my choice is made: "Tis not for war my peaceful nature pants; But duty calls me, and I must advance, ‘To check th’oppressor and to quell his raid.” A guardian, thou, of peace! role For thee, who seem’st to be but idly jeering At Liberty emblazoned on thy scroll. How strange the For, louder than thy soldiers’ loudest cheering, From where the Pruth streams onward to its goal, ‘The sounds of Poland’s dying groans are rising, nearing! PUCK’S ORACLE. As the Delphian Oracle was of old, so is Public Opinion of to-day; which, although without the profound mystery and enigmatic | decisions which enwrapt the mythological in- stitution, is not less effectual in determining the course of public affairs. Puck, on this occa- sion, is the High Priest who interprets the fiat of the modern oracle, and the human garbage | which, strange to say, has escaped the eagle-eye and delicate nose of the Street-Cleaning Bureau, will be effectually disposed of — unwept, unhon- ored and unsung.” THE DELUGE OF DISCLOSURES. “Wuen thieves fall out, honest men come by their right,” says the musty proverb. Will it be exemplified by ex-Boss Tweed’s exposures of the ‘true inwardness” of the ring? How very, very wrong to traduce the truly good | men, the innocents who only receive “palm oil,” just to oblige the party who offers it. But, says the ex-King of the Ring, my tribulations have convinced me that what is ‘‘sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander;” as backed by Charles O'Conor, he pours on the devoted heads, of his former colleagues and “ pals” a very Niagara of damning disclosures, which overwhelms them so effectually as to preclude the possibility of | their political or social resurrection. Tue ten commandments have been stolen | from a synagogue in this city. They can never, if restored, be found as good as new, for the thief has irremediably broken one of them. “To have ideas is to gather flowers,” says a female philosopher. We take notice, too, that some of our Broadway statues wear all their ideas in their button-holes. ‘Packerings. : Wuen a Buffalo young ung lady—so writes a cor- respondent—parts from her deau, who is too bashful to understand the nicer usages of his ition, she will say: ‘ William, if you were to Eis me you might be afraid ma ‘would hear it. But if I creak the gate she won't know the dif- ference! Forks, it appears, are not an ancient institu- tion; they were only used by the higher classes in the middle of the seventeenth century. Now they are so common that they are fast super- | seding toothpicks. | | As a train was slowly crawling out of the | depot at Indianapolis the other day, an indi- | vidual, with terror depicted in every line of his | countenance, was seen running after it, making time that would not have disgraced the record of a lightning-express. As he grasped the rail and drew himself up on the steps, the look of terror still in his face, hé confided his secret to a stranger who stood on the platform. He had | | awarded the premiums at the baby-show that | afternoon. | Josep Cook says that ‘We stand before structureless bioplasm and see it wearing organ- isms.” When will men learn to write intelligibly about fashions! He, of course, means organ- dies. ‘Tue Buffalo Courier says that ‘“ Prof. Swift | gazes into the immensity of space, in search of comets, from the top of a cider factory.” A cider factory seems a peculiarly appro- priate place from which to view the cidereal heaven, and it is wrong to taunt Prof. Swift with the humbleness of his observatory, for | many a man has seen stars in his exit from al | corner grocery. | You can’t always tell. We have known a| sweet-faced young man, who spoke such beauti- | fully melodious words of moral benevolence at the boarding-house table as brought tears to | | the eyes of the tender-hearted landlady, sud- denly depart with a month's board unsettled, | and all the souvenir he left in his valise, a se- | cond-hand pocket-testament and pair of faded | paper-cullars. | ‘Tue Herald has the following: A BIANO IN PERFECT ORDER A BARGAIN, PRICE , with Stool and Cover. — West sist st. Ring this Third Bell, we are surprised at your askin SO outrageous a figure for a mere piano, wit! stool and cover. You surely do not seriously expect ach an exorbitant price, when they are bought three. for a quarter. Puck wants a piano, and when you have another to dispose of, say for $50, with stool, cover, a furnished house and lot, and a span of high-ste] ping bays—a diamond-pin thrown in—he'll to talk business and may make an offer. The London Yorick says: Look at America. Why, a religious American newspaper coa- tains more humor than all the London dailies put together, Well, Yorick is about right. On the other hand, doesn't a comic English newspaper con- tain more gloom than is gathered into all the American religious | Papers put together? We pause for a reply. AN exchange says: Alfred Smith threw under a locomotive sn Lexington. ky Hither than face hi wifes whom he had dese Smith preferred a locomotive to a mine com- motion. ANoTHER Hera/d advertisement: A gentleman aad wife (English) are desirous of finding a refined room in a strictly private family. State fall lars and terms which must be moderate), to PERMANENT, Herald Uptown {ranch emice: ‘NB Boarding house beepers not reply. Is this an English way of expressing a wish for an “ eligible apartment?” or can an Attic chamber be considered a “refined room?” WHEN you see a tomcat with glaring eye- balls, and back-hair erect, come scratching out like lightning from under a board fence, and a second afterwards hear a brickbat strike the fence on the inside, the process of @ posteriori | reasoning is not a difficult one. Tuey had a public concert in a Syracuse church the other evening. They called it “The Kinder Symphony Concert,” and, by the way, it does kinder symphony they should have had it in a church, A DELICATE feat in surgery. | helt with a shilling. Cutting off one’s One or two choir flirts will do more toward | making a revival a failure than ten regular, spear- Av a recent meeting of a mutual aid society | | for the benefit of dramatic artists, it was moved | | that a fund should be established, from which | loans should be made to members who desired | to make starring tours, as well as to those who, having set out on such, were unable to reach | | home. ‘This motion was carried, and one of | the stars rose to observe that nothing was more galling to the feelings of a great actor than to have to step aside from his path to glory to let a railroad train pass. Amonc fashion notes, the New York Zimes | says, “‘All-silk dresses are no longer seen.” | True—a great many, in these hard times, we suppose, are under the protecting wing of ‘my uncle." EXPERIMENTS are being made in England by | Dr. Burg of the curative value of metals placed | in contact with the body. We can assure the | doctor, that we know of several cases which | could be cured by an application of certain | metals, If he will eid on about half a cwt. of | | gold, we will apply it, and keep a careful record | of the result, | Tue color of a sound—black as a crow. | to be a colored baby-fair in Cincinnati. | house is the natural tailed devils. Mr. Moody does not say this, but he thinks it. Ir may be warm, but don’t lay off your flan- nels yet, unless you wish to lay on immortality. A PHILADELPHIA paper counseled a variety performer not to make too frequent use of the name of Deity in his “acts.” And when the | paragraph was read to the ‘‘artist,” he only said: “Who's he?” An exchange informs us that there is going Puck congratulates the inhabitants of the Queen City on their enterpene in producing such a /usus | nature and their marvelous foreshadowing of its complexion, and awaits with much anxiety the advent of the remarkable little stranger. Berou takes the ground ‘that the roof of a etitage of a concert-cat. ‘Tue West should step carefully. ing on eggs—grasshopper-eggs. It is tread- A pwarF PEAR—Jl'om Thumb and wife.