Life — August 23, 1928 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

His Dany Dozin’ at ir a. M, didn’t read at all like the leaflets distributed as the crowd filtered away from the track. He even learned that all those remarkable selections were “picked” after the different races had been run, were struck off on a press within a few blocks of the track, and were rushed to the gate in time to meet the departing throng. That was why the leaf- lets rarely named the winner of the last race. That one had to be picked before the race was run. On learning these melancholy facts, the guileless individual renounced his in- tention of making his fortune at the racetrack and started on an extended walking tour toward his home, sweet home. That was two weeks ago. At the rate he was going, he should be almost there now. John Kieran. “Pay a Little More” WHEN the new car arrives: “Well, I'm satisfied. It’s a peach of a job, I think. Rides like a top. What I say is, pay a little more and get what you want. It’s the only way.” When the first body squeak makes it- self heard: “Oh, they all squeak. There isn't a body in the world that won’t squeak.” When the first engine knock comes: “Say, you've no idea how much abuse a car gets on these awful streets around here. Talk about holes—they’re valleys, that’s what they are. It’s a wonder an en- gine doesn’t fo to pieces the first hundred miles, I’m telling you.” When the front wheels develop a shim- my: “Aha, my wife has had this car out again.” When the ignition system goes bad: “You've got to expect things like that. An automobile is a sensitive piece of ma- jchinery.”” When the rear system falls out: “That's a fine how-de-do. I'm telling you, if I drove this car myself all the time, this couldn't happen in a month of Sundays. Way I look at it, the way that 9 “Smuggled?! Well, you've got a nerve! I bought that right on Broadway.” “Can you beat it, Agnes? There's no mirror in my locker.” son of mine drives, I’m surprised the car can even be towed in.” When Elmer Feemster, a neighbor whose income 1s only $2,500 per annum, buys a car of the same make: “Say, I certainly did take a rooking on this junk-wagon. They saw me coming, all right. It’s a cheap pile of iron, that's all it is. I'm going to trade it in for what- ever they give me and invest in a real car. What I say is, pay a little more and get what you want. It’s the only way.” Tupper Greenwald, The Wise Guys “Tis Tunney retiring is just another trick to get Dempsey and Tunney to gether again.” t “Yeah—now Dempsey'll come out and lace a couple of ham-and-cggers and claim the crown again and then Tunney’ll come back from Europe and challenge him and Rickard’ll have to charge a hundred a seat to keep the public away.” “The public are all a bunch of saps— they'll fall for anything in the papers.” “Yeah—but just the same, I'd like to see those two together again.” “Yeah—the next time Dem, Tunney it'll be a real fight.” meets HL. comicbooks.com W