Life — August 9, 1928 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

22 is Defense of Sock-Eye Salmon Ar the risk of being burned in effigy by every veterans’ organization in the coun- try I stand up and say, unequivocally: A can of salmon is entitled to admira- tion and respect. Consider the domestic life of the sal- mon. When Ma Salmon learns that Dr. Stork is planning a visit, what does she do? She heads for Oregon, Washington or Alaska, no matter how far at sea she may be. Day and night she swims at top speed, until he comes to the mouth of a river. It may be a furious, lashing, smashing stream. But Ma Salmon does not falter. Upstream she goes. If she comes to a waterfall she tries to reach the top. The long, weary battle may last for weeks, but she plods on until she reaches the calm headwaters of the torrent she has conquered. And then, proud and con- tented, she lays her eggs. Dare any scornful Legionnaire cast as- persion on salmon? Let him answer this question, then: What other fish hath greater love for these here United States? What other fish endures suffering so silently in order that its children may be born American citizens? Chet Johnson. NUBBVILLE SPARK Rov Lone was re-elected sheriff next fall by the County Association 0’ Bootleggers ata special meetin’ last night. Sue: IT announced my engagement to Albert yesterday. Sue: Was he glad to hear it? y AP | mer “a “Porter, please tell the engineer not to go around any more corners until I get my clothes off.” “Warming Up” 1 Have protested on frequent occasions against those pictures which disclose the fact that a clown, who entertains thou- sands of people by means of his droll antics, is actually a very sad, pathetic fel- low with a broken heart. In such dramas, the clown's sadness may easily be indi- cated by means of glycerine tears; his humor, however, isn’t so easily managed. When he goes out into the circus ring and tries to be funny, he usually appears more dolorous than ever. So it is with athletic pictures, in which the hero is an All-American fullback, or a champion boxer. It is all very well to describe him as such in the subtitles, but put him on a football field, or in a ring, and the illusion fades. In “Slide, Kelly, Slide” (one of the best pictures of last year), William Haines ap- peared as the star pitcher of the Yankees, and everything went fine until Mr. Haines was called upon to step up before the camera and burn a fast one over the plate. I watched the ball closely, and I can vouch for the fact that there was nothing on it but some grease paint. In “Warming Up” we learn that the Yankees have a new ace, impersonated by Richard Dix. He goes into the box in the last inning of the last game with the Pirates in the World Series; the bases are full, there are none out, and our hero's girl is in the grandstand. He strikes out three men in a row, using his famous curve ball, which breaks upward (in spite of which, all the batters swing over it), thereby winning the game, the series, a new contract and the girl. Now it may well have been that Mr. Dix really did strike those three men out —that the movie actors who were dressed up as Pirates were no better as batters than Mr. Dix was as a pitcher. But if those had been real Pirates—the Waner boys, for instance—Mr. Dix’s offerings would have been sent to the bleachers, and Mr. Dix himself to the showers. “Warmine Up” is a light but cheerful picture, with Mr. Dix as brisk and vigor- ous as ever, and with good work by Jean Arthur (she is the heroine who sits in the grandstand and signals to the hero to strike the Pirates out). There is some sound accompaniment on the Movietone in “Warming Up,” albeit no dialogue. All the sound is palpa- comicbooks.com