Life, 1928-08-09 · page 23 of 40
Life — August 9, 1928 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical commentary on recent news and celebrity culture, plus two cartoons. **Main Cartoon (top):** "The Contortionist Drops a Ball in the Rough" depicts a golfer in an awkward contorted position, satirizing poor golf performance. **Lower Cartoon:** A couple discusses a decorative bridge lamp he's purchased. Her response—"you know very well that I don't play bridge"—is a gentle marital joke about impractical gift-giving; he bought an ornament named after an activity she doesn't engage in. **Text Content:** The column mocks recent New York events (Knights Templar parade, Elks parade, new West Side telephones) with tongue-in-cheek commentary. A "What Great Men Have Really Given the World" section satirizes inventors' problematic creations: Bell gave "wrong number" phone calls, Edison gave noisy neighbors, Marconi gave radio announcements, Ford gave car-starting difficulties, and Volstead (Prohibition's author) gave speakeasies—all contemporary frustrations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFe zen a neat trimming in a golf match the other day, and the former are not smiling any. Oh, no, not at all! ***Mr. Ford has done a very thoughtful thing in giving John Rockefeller a new car for his birthday. Now the latter, who is an elderly gentleman, and rather rly, can get around again among the tolks, he already having some gas, we are told. ***The parade of 100,000 Knights Templars was a sight which those who saw the same will never forget, many of them saying this was the most hospitable city they ever were in. ***Speaking of parades, when the Elks were here not so long ago, Charlie Schermerhorn said it took one marcher six hours to pass a given pint, but of course that was said in a spirit of fun. & Quite a number of families on the West Side had new telephones installed during the past week. Elmer C. Adams. New York We have been approached by certain spelling reform and chain store interests to call this part of this weekly Nasortioop Nuzt, but we sent the emissaries about their business. The old-fashioned spelling is good enough for us, sometimes even a litle too good. ***Frank Ward O'Malley is contemplat- ing to spend another year abroad, prob- ably in Switzerland. Frank is a dweller in Brielle, N. J. Who paves the Brielle roads? The Swiss? Who builds the Brielle schools? The Swiss? No. America for Americans is our platform, and O'Malley ought not to be allowed to land in this country again. ***The book department of this depart- ment has been reading Anne Parrish’s “All Kneeling,” and believes it to be the best of all her novels, and we know sev- eral ladies the heroine is like and wouldn't tell under $100,000 apiece. ***We have been pretty hypocritical at times, but we never assumed an interest in summer resort swimming races. & Frank Crowninshield and Fred Kep- pe played a lot of deck tennis on the way obme from Europe, Fred being pretty good at it. ***The tennis players are at Southampton this week, and Grant Rice motored over from his Easthampton castle to see them. “I'm a Tennessee boy myself,” said Grant- land, the laughter being general. Franklin P. Adams. wn riaad \ 4, ie wv BTL id Tue Contornionist Drops A BALL in THE RoucH WHAT GREAT MEN HAVE REALLY GIVEN THE WORLD ALExanvber GraHaM Bett “Wrong number"; “Line’s busy”; “They do not answer”; buzz-buzz-buzz; clop-<lick-clop- clack. Thomas A. Edison They start it next door as soon as you get sound asleep. Marconi “There will now be a slight pause for station announcement.” Henry Ford.... .“*Well, it seems there was this man who was trying to crank up his Lizzie, an’... .” Volstead “Pssst!” B. B. Speakeasy Proprietor (to recal citrant customer): Now you pay me for that liquor or I'll call a cop! “T've bought you the most beautiful bridge lamp, dear.” “Yes, and you know very well that I don’t play bridge.” comicbooks.com