Life, 1928-07-12 · page 33 of 40
Life — July 12, 1928 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Left side:** Union Pacific Railroad advertisement promoting Western vacation destinations (Yellowstone, Grand Canyon, national parks) as "America's Supreme Vacationland." The ad emphasizes accessibility via Union Pacific trains, with a mail-in coupon for information. **Right side:** A satirical short story titled "The Sentimental Novelist Takes One Glass of Buttermilk Too Many," which mocks overwrought romantic fiction. The text parodies purple prose common in sentimental novels—excessive metaphors ("blue as the sea"), clichéd descriptions ("little rosebud," "heart o' mine"), and melodramatic sacrifice narratives. The joke is that this overwrought emotional monologue is supposedly triggered by buttermilk. It's a gentle mockery of the sentimental literary style popular in early 20th-century fiction. **Bottom right:** Advertisement for Squibb's Dental Cream, a toothpaste brand, featuring a smiling cartoon face. The page mixes commercial tourism promotion with literary satire typical of *Life* magazine's humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
"| America’s Supreme me! Vacationland The Union Pacific West Yellowstone + Colorado th Pacific Northwest and Alaska Zion-Grand Canyon National Parks or California . Salt Lake City More scenic grandeur, more strange displays of nature’s forces, more variety of man-made attractions await you in this Western wonderland than any- where else on earth, nd Among them are mysterious geysers, friendly wild animals, lofty mountains, great glaciers, enchanting waterfalls, A lovely lakes, tremendous colored can- yons, virgin forests, ancient ruins, le scores of Pacific beaches, dude ranches, cities great and gay. or Allor any of these playgrounds may be visited easily, quickly, inexpensively on te the fine, fast trains of the Union Pacific System, either independently or by Escorted All-Expense Tours. - Low Summer Fares via the Cool Summer Route to All the West Ihe Whether your vacation period is two weeks or two months, Union Pacific ls travel experts will gladly plan a com- m plete itinerary that will suit your purse and give you a maximum of sightseeing. J, prr=a-CHECK AND MAIL COUPON --==4 UP Agent, Dept, 242 ' ad ete error even a | Please send me complete information | n, { including cost, and te ' | DYellowstone()PacificNorthwestandAlaska ! of QCalifernia 0 Dude Ranches (Colorado t | D Zion-Grand Canyon National Parks | Otscorted All-Expense Toure = Q Hewail ! Perea LIFE The Sentimental Novelist Takes One Glass of Buttermilk Too Many He stood there, six feet of clean man- hood, admiring her fresh beauty—so like a rose she was—and bent and tenderly kissed the sparse locks. “Dear old dad,” he murmured huskily, “you've gone through hell for me, haven't you?” “Yes, Don,” she answered, the proud tears jew- cling her eyes—blue as the sea they were —‘Tait must, win! The Old School comes before everything!" He stood before her, splendidly erect, chin up. “Little pal o° mine, little rosebud, little dewdrop, little pool of clear, clear water! I thought I'd met women before, women who were great in sacrifice, who stood by their men through the long Canadian winter, yes, who died that a tiny life might come into this old world of ours! But you, girl o° the river, heart o’ mine, you are the ulti- mate pal!” “And all you've done for me, Mother, and I never knew!" she whis- pered, her cheek against the rough sleeve of his peajacket. “I—I never realized! I—I didn’t know how you sewed all night, making raincoats, so that—that 1 could—could bea normal school teacher! ....It’s—it’s wonderful. ” “Pshaw! That's nothing, little friendly girl,” he said, blushing like the clean-minded boy that he was; “I'd have done as much for a dog! Out here in Texas we're glad to help a friend. Maybe we don’t talk like what you're used to, and maybe we're a bit rough, outside, but underneath, in- side, we're clean strain, little pal o’ the plains. And if I've helped, well, I’m glad. ..-that’s all!” Shy sunset tints flooded her elfin face. ‘‘Oh, you have helped,” she cried. “You Aavel It’s all due to you that the reform elements will surely win be- yond the railroad tracks!” She trumpeted the words—he took her in his arms. Pic- tures of his childhood in Kentucky came before his eyes as he reverently kissed the lovely neck against his shoulder. He could hear laughter—smell the magic breath of winds from the old garden, hear the whispering flight of ducks at sunset above the river. The bark of the First Sergeant suddenly interrupted his medita- tions. “Private Oliphant, front and center!” As he marched stiffly around the end of his company he could see General Pershing, stern but just, and beside him Foch and Joffre and Pétain and Mangin and — yes, there was Bonaparte! They were assembled to do him honor, to pin upon his faded tunic the Congressional Medal. The eyes of the Division were upon him proudly, upon Tiny Tim Oli- P ant—their hero, now—the man they ad called Heman Fay, |r. Fairy Story: Once upon a time there was a bridge player who said: ‘It makes a great deal of difference."'—Boston Transcript. You know how an appetizer tickles your palate and puts zest in a meal. Here's a new kind of appetizer— one that gives added flavor to your favorite smoke—Squibb's Dental Cream. Squibb's spruces up your mouth and sweetens your breath. It fights acids and is particularly soothing to irritated tissues. The minute, clinging grains of Milk of Magnesia it contains act as an antacid long after the actual brushing,and coun- teract the cause of furry, bitter smoking tastes. Make Squibb’s Dental Cream a daily habit and you will be taking a lease on a lot of unsuspected smoking enjoyment, 4oc at any druggist. Copyright 1928 by E. R. Squibb & Sons DANGER LINE comicbooks.com