Life, 1928-07-12 · page 32 of 40
Life — July 12, 1928 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising disguised as editorial content**—a marketing strategy common in early 20th-century magazines. The main feature presents a letter from Charles A. Deklotz of Lincoln, Nebraska, claiming he played 666 holes with a single Spalding Kro-Flite golf ball without damage, culminating in a hole-in-one. He's now retiring it as a desk ornament. While presented as genuine testimonial, this is clearly a paid advertisement for the ball (75 cents), designed to demonstrate durability and value. The accompanying page includes a humorous poem by C. Wiles Hallock about writer's block—requesting *any* topic worth writing about—and a satirical note titled "Longevity and Dissipation" listing contradictory longevity claims (one man attributes long life to abstinence, another to whiskey and tobacco), mocking dubious health claims common in newspaper reporting. The satire targets credulous newspaper reporting and advertising's manipulation of testimonials.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
30 LiFe This letter from a Lincoln, Nebraska, golfer is the greatest Golf Ball Advertisement ever written Mr. Charles A. Deklotz and a single Spalding Kro-Flite Ball break last year’s record of 504 holes with a new record of 666 holes! Lincoln, Nebraska, April 12, 1928 A. G. Spalding & Bros. New York: — 105 Nassau Street Gentlemen: After seeing your ad in the Golfers Magazine, = wherein you guaranteed the Spalding KRO-FLITE for 72 holes - I invested 75c and it was surely the best investment I have ever made in a Golf Ball. You may wonder why I am bothering you about this particular ball. Well here is the story: I have played 666 holes - 37 rounds — of 18 holes with this particular Ball - ay old stand-by as I always call it when playing with the Gang. There is not a cut on this ball. It is true that I have re- painted it several times, as you might know it was bound to lose its whiteness. I made up ay mind that I was going to play with this ball until I either cut or lost it. I kept a card in wy golf bag pocket and kept track of the number of holes played with it, and the above 666 holes is absolutely correct. HERE IS THE CROWNING GLORY of the above Ball. This P.M. as the enclosed card will show - which is signed by the other three of the foursome, myself and the Treasurer of the Club - this particular ball pulled the trick of a HOLE in ONE! So I will not be able to tell you or any one else how many more holes that the ball might have gone without cutting - as I an placing this ball on a pension. I am mounting it in a round glass paper weight to use on my desk. No doubt that I may have to answer a lot of questions why the Golf Ball on my desk — but will gladly do so when not too busy. I thought that it would be of interest to you to know the number of holes played with one of your balls. Very truly yours, © 1928, A. G.S, & B. KRO/ FLITE each 75 cents NOTE: All golf professionals, all sports dealers, all Spalding stores sell Kro-Flite. Ballade of Something to Write About Ou, for a hot and unhackneyed theme! Oh, for the thrill of a passion prime! Think me a thought, brain, shell out dream; Something exciting — in prose o rhyme! Something ecstatic—but not sublime; Nothing profound.....I'm a lazy lout, Politics—theater—love—or crime... Just so it’s something to write about! Oh, for a fanciful, fresh, extreme, Epical view of our day and time! Plan me a plot, brain, concoct a scheme New and_ intriguing—in prose or thyme! Not metaphysical, though; for I'm Over my depth in the realms of doubt. ... Vaudeville — marriage — or panto mime.... Just so it’s something to write about! Oh, for ideas to fill a ream! Pure—or slightly besmirched with grime; Quicken, brain, kindle... .Wake up and teem! Do something snappy—in prose or rhyme! Something commercial... ..Per worda dime; Nifty, not hefty..... Vers libre is out: Quatrains or couplets that clang and chime... .. Just so it’s something to write about! L’Exvor Prince, there are heights no mere hack can climb: I know my place—I’'m a_ humble scout... .. I'll not be choosy..... In prose of thyme— Just so it's SOMETHING to write about! C. Wiles Hallock. LONGEVITY AND DISSIPATION (According to Latest Authentic News paper Reports) J. E. Carrincton, 92, of Montclair, N. J, ascribes his longevity to abstinence from liquor and tobacco. Henry Keenan, 97, of Union, N. J, ascribes it to moderate use of liquor and tobacco. . Washington Brown, 96, of Nordheim, Wis., ascribes it to the use of plenty of good whiskey and tobacco. . W. E, Farbstein. Tue appearance of automobiles with wings in the near future is predicted by a manufacturer. In the past, the wearers of wings have been recruited almost entirely from the pedestrian class. comicbooks.com