Life — July 12, 1928 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

the same to be good for my maidservants, nor was I ever before so struck with the force and beauty of the Commandments. And as I lay upon my couch of pain, after having been dosed with bromides and what not, I did muse with shame upon Elizabeth Barrett Browning, who, whilst racked by the most awful agony, nevertheless wrote on and on, and isegely about love, at that. Billy Powell come to see us in the afternoon, eager for my public endorsement of a project which he is to launch in the autumn, and I did agree to give it to him should I live until then, whereupon Billy said that he him- self felt none too fit and counted each succeeding week of his existence as just so much velvet, and almost as he spoke, a shower of peony petals fell to the floor beside his chair, causing him to start and exclaim, “My God! I can’t stand that!” so we did agree that it was no day for cither of us to be marking the fall of sparrows. We did also speak of the im- portance of relaxation, whereupon Sam quoth, “Laugh and the world laughs with you; relax and you relax alone— usually in a darkened room with a wet bandage over your forehead.” June ‘This day my malady so acute after two days of neuritic suf- 18 fering that Sam did summon Dr. Cuff exceeding early, and whilst waiting for him to arrive did strive to divert me by calling attention to Mr. Hoover’s cowlick and the fact that he knew only one architect who did design medicine-cabinet doors high enough not to knock off the talcum as they were be- ing opened, but I could think of nought save the fear that I would not die, and Pedy, too, and it did seem to me that the Spartan boy with a fox in his jacket had all the breaks in that he would at least go down in history. And Dr. Cuff, when he saw me, did step to the tele- phone and beseech Jane Brennan to send telief to me at once, even if the appoint- ments of crowned heads must be broken, and down came Mistresses Francke and Paquette, who did certainly minister unto me, and with such efficiency that I am not sure they should not be set down as the first angels that ever I saw. Lord! I had licfer become a hypochondriacal bore than ever feel again as I felt this morning. Slept softly throughout the remainder of the day with no desire to do anything soever, not even to go out and look for rose diamonds or old silver had I the money to pay for them. Mabel Loomis and Effie Goings to tea, with Sam home betimes, and as they did watch me sip my frugal and unwonted supper of acidophilous milk, I could not but silently ponder that, loath- Every Home Sroutp Have One A play room for the convenience of bridge dummies. some as such a beverage is, it might taste a little better if people were not so eager to convince you that it is really a delight- ful drink. So much better do I feel that I know it may not be longer than tomor- row when I shall be willing to sell my birthright for one, or mayhap two, steamed clams. Baird Leonard. For Labor and Materials I purchase a summer suit the other day and sent it out to be pressed before wear- ing. It was delivered this morning with a bill for $25.60. ' Upon examination I found that a silk lining had been added to the coat, and the cut of the lapels altered. It also had been changed into a double-breasted style, with a noticeable amount of padding in the shoulders, The left sleeve had been replaced by one several inches smaller from a blue-serge suit. The cuffs had been removed from the trousers and the right leg lengthened seven inches. Upon both coat and trousers were dark smudges as though someone in greasy shoes had walked across them. I was indignant, of course, but paid the bill as gracefully as possible. I have since learned that the establishment to which I sent the suit is operated by a former garage mechanic. E. B. Crosswhite, ALL BOUGHT THAT WAY Witus: Are you going to have de- tectives to watch your daughter's wed- ding presents? Gixuts: No; the installment men will see to that. comicbooks.com