Life — July 5, 1928 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

] | | | an Open Letter to the Secretary . of the Navy Dear Secretary: Everything out here in California (“Where Life is Better"”—Californians, Inc.) is about the same as when you left San Francisco, ' They are still conducting your Bible Class down at the church, and once in a while some Native Son recalls those great bedtime stories you used to write. If the Democrats should win this year and you lost your job I think you would have no trouble signing on as “Big Brother Wilbur” or “Uncle Curt,” or something like that for half an hour with the kiddies of radioland every afternoot But what I wanted to say, Mr. Secretaryl was that you have disappointed us, in a way, as Read of the Navy Department. A couple of battleships just came into our harbor and we see that the sailors still are wearing those awfully tight pants. Mr. Secretary, you used to be Chief Justice of our State Supreme Court, and you know what justice means. Is there one iota of justice, or even one per cent of one iota, in making our sailor laddies wear breeches so tight that they can’t carry a can of tobacco without ruining their silhouettes? Think what it means when a sailor drops a quarter or a half- dollar! If he doesn’t stoop over and pick it up he’s broke. If he does he is running the risk of startling developments. It is a false sense of economy that makes our Government so stingy with He: I don’t know what it is—maybe my ancestors were pirates, or something—but every time I go out in a boat like this I hear the call of the sea. blue cloth. Look at the moncy that is spent on soldiers’ pants. If Secretary of War Davis can kid Congress into letting him have enough money to buy baggy TWENTY DEGREES COOLER INSIDE Jotunson: You say you're going to get away from the heat of the city? Where pants for the troops, surely you ought to] mountains or seashore? ask for enough in the Navy budget to give the sailors an extra inch or so of pants goods. Tam against the 5-5-3 ratio—five yards for soldiers, five for marines and three for sailors. And I had hoped that as soon as you became Secretary of the Navy you would do something about it. It looks like a great issue for some other party to pounce on. “Bigger Pants for Sailors!” There is a campaign slogan. I am go- ing to suggest it to Mr. Will Rogers. T'll bet if you had to wear tight pants such as our Jack Tars wear you'd darned soon do something about it. Take this up with the President, Mr. Secretary, and see if you can’t get the sailors out of those pants by Christmas. Yours truly, Chet Johnson. P. S.—I see where your boy has just been elected a member of a national fra- ternity down at Stanford University, of which your brother Ray is president. I'll bet they wouldn't make a fellow wear sailor’s pants even as an initiation stunt. EX-STATIC Wire (phoning husband at his office): John, dear, come home at once! The radio is making whoopee. Tuompson: Neither. I'm going to the movies. Sue (on the morning of the Fourth of July): Is it true that the police cannot stop the sale of fireworks? He: I hear reports to that effect. A PERPETUAL summer—the add- ing machine. “Look, Henry! A Rotarian!”