Life — June 21, 1928 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

U O R CANDIDATE AMONG THE DEMOCRATS “Al Smith Is Stranded in Death Valley” Wet here we are down in Houston (they are rehearsing the New York Deli- gation day and night so they won't call the Town “Howston”). The town is looking fine and people ae going to get a great surprise when see this real City, [am gathered here with Odd Mcintyre and Sam Blythe, my social and Political advisers. We are at the Rise Hotel, that's where they are going to stable all the so- alled prominent Deligates, A Prominent Deligate is one who has bought and con- wols other Deligates. Jessie Jones, the owner of the town and who will have the pleasure of refus- ing the Vices resiceneys is also our land- lord here at this Hotel. They are taking the convention serious down here, They are putting it on just like it was the Elks, or Shriners. You know down here they never saw a National Convention of Politicians. They are going to try and entertain ‘em here, while in most cities that are used to ‘em they just tolerate “em. The advance Guard is drifting in, those who have expense accounts. The New York Deligation is coming by boat, They dident want anybody to see ‘em till they unloaded them. They will be the big at- traction here, These Democrats down here by WILL ROGERS will want to see Democrats that can draw salaries even in Republican years. Well dident Kansas City turn out just like I told you it would? Outside of nomi- nating a President, what did they do? They messed and argued around and how did they come out on any of the big issues? They dident come out, they walked the issues like they was a tight rope. What did they do on Prohibition? Just what I told you all the time they would do, hid behind “Law Enforcement.” PLATFORM PLANKS FARM RELICF, FLOOD RELIEF, THIRST RELIEF, RADIO RELIEF, RENT RELIEF, MATRIMONY RELIEF, OR WHAT AILS You? Well there ain't enough enforcement for even a single person to hide behind much less a whole party. They come out of the Convention with their stomachs wet, and their backs dry. What did they do on “Farm Relief,” They promised to do something for the farmers. Well so did Lincoln the year he was running. Course I haven't got any holler, They treated me fine up there last week—more like a friend than an opponent They knew the Anti-Bunks was the in- telligent minority. They was so scared of Al Smith last week up there that I really think a lot of them would turn Demo- crats if théy thought they could keep their folks from finding it out. So now that we got my other opponent picked, now all we have to do is wait for Al to be officially endorsed, If they beat him at the nomination it would almost make me lose faith in Politics. Now about Al, I will take up my other opponent later for you have already heard me discuss him, I will go kinder easy on Al till after the official endorsement is made. Al is a good fellow, and I want to see him do as good as he can. The worst thing he will have against him will be his ich When he gets in the middle of is platform, he will think he is stranded comicbooks.com